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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

283 replies

Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:12

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

OP posts:
LadyBiscuit · 09/01/2010 21:30

AKMD - waist/hip ratio has been shown to be a much better indication of health than BMI. wiki

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 21:31

How can a size 14 be 'smaller' on a 6ft person than on a 5 ft person? I thought models etc (who are around 6ft usually) were size 8 or smaller? Surely a tall size 14 would still be 'larger', isn't it to do with width rather than height? I think size 14 is a perfectly nice size to be, not too small but not unhealthily overweight.

Bonsoir · 09/01/2010 21:32

I don't like wearing tight clothes as I have very visible hip bones/ribs, without even being particularly slim.

LadyBiscuit · 09/01/2010 21:34

well it's about body fat downhillfast. I and my sister are both a size 12. I am curvy, she's most definitely not. She's a bit taller than me but mostly it's that her bones are bigger - I have a much narrower frame than her.

PeachyWillNeverVoteBNP · 09/01/2010 21:35

Really does depend

ATM I know I am big (16 - 18) becuase still BF and haven't really focused on trying to lose babyweight, was a size 12 a few years ago and became ill... a 14 really is right for me but I have a funny build I am the first to admit, even as a teenager with ED I managed to survive on 7 satsumas a day (no idea why, sorry) and was a size 6 on top and 12 on the bottom. My family just have humungous hips.

Fitness wise I amand was OK,comparing myself to 20 other adults of same age and generally slimmer running after a carnival float on an autumnal evening (a good test LOL).

Iam quite solid miond,wide size 7 feet and and 5'6".

Don't get me wrong, am not happy at this size and I've lost mroe before so know I can and will again- but what I aim for is a healthy BMI/ fitnesslevel,I know from experience if I were a size zero I would still think myself fat, and Dh likes girls bigger than me anyway so there's no point focussing on anything else.

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 21:37

A model who is 6ft and size 8 must be truly skeletal in reality then!?

Undercovamutha · 09/01/2010 21:40

(Oh no please don't let me comment immediately after Bonsoir on a fat thread!)

I am a size 14/16 and 5'11 and a broad frame. I am 2 stone heavier than the lightest I have ever been in adulthood. IMO I am 1 stone overweight, but I would be mortified if someone actually thought I was FAT. I think it does depend on your weight. When I was 10 stone I was ridiculously skinny and a size 10. If a 5'0" woman was 10 stone (I'm guessing) they would probably be a size 12/14. So height DOES matter.

IMO someone of average to tall height who is a size 14 could probably benefit with losing a bit of weight, but would most certainly not be fat.

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 21:41

average height

For UK woman average height is 5f4 so a size 14 would be to much fat for most of the population.

You may look lovely at a size 18, but there is going to be effects on the body that are not pleasant, especially long term.

Undercovamutha · 09/01/2010 21:41

Phew - good job I'm a slow typer

winnybella · 09/01/2010 21:41

Generally speaking, size 14 is not huge at all.
But it does depend on your bone structure, height etc.
Up to the age of 25 I was size 4 (am 5'8")-very skinny, but no bones really visible. Now, post-baby I am probably size 10-and have rolls of fat and wobbly bits everywhere- I have small bones and so at size 10 don't look fit at all while someone with bigger bones will look slimmer at 12 or 14 iyswim.

Ronaldinhio · 09/01/2010 21:45

whatever makes you happy

some people are a 10 and miserable gits
some a 20 and happy as larry

clothes are nicer and there is more choice if you are smaller
ditto people are generally nicer if you fit a current social norm

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 21:45

I'm still confused about models. They must all weigh 'underweight' if they are so tall and yet only size 8. Aren't lots of designer clothes made in size 8-10 only?

choufleur · 09/01/2010 21:48

yes they are all underweight.

ImSoNotTelling · 09/01/2010 21:48

coldhands your friend obviously has ishooos herself, pay her no heed.

this size thing is a bit random as it depends on body shape, differs between shops etc etc. A size 14 in shop aimed at teens is much smaller than size 14 in shop aimed at older women.

shape thing - i'm bf at mo and my top is a size 16 but that's to accomodate by bust. the rest of me isn't that big. so it's misleading.

Better to employ a range of things to guage whether you are a bit big or not, look in mirror, weight, how much exercise you do, dress size etc etc etc.

On the whole 14 is a bit on the large side but by no means the end of the world IMO. 10-12 is nice size to be. For me anyway.

choufleur · 09/01/2010 21:49

size shouldn't be the measure anyway we should look at BMI.

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 21:49

how can you know how large or small your bones are unless you have a bone scan? Even then it is the density of the bone that vary not the diameter...?

Ronaldinhio · 09/01/2010 21:49

I'm about 10,4 at the mo and about 5,10.5 tall
I'm a 10-12
my friend is a model...old model now, but she is 5,11 and 8 stone she's an 8 and is v v thin

ImSoNotTelling · 09/01/2010 21:50

ROFL @ downhillfast

This can't be the first time you have heard that catwalk type models tend to be on the thin side?

ImSoNotTelling · 09/01/2010 21:51

not meant nastily, downhill, I'm just a bit surprised that this is news to you!

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 21:53

Know they are generally thin downhillfast! But if 'real' 6footers are size 14, it just underlines how small models must be. An earlier poster said size 14 and 6ft = skinny.

KerryMumbles · 09/01/2010 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 21:54

sorry meant 'know they are generally thin imsonottelling'!

Undercovamutha · 09/01/2010 21:56

Ivy - when I was just under 10 stone (at about 18yo), I definitely couldn't pinch an inch! There was hardly any 'flesh' on me at all, so IMO that is the thinest I am meant to be (I'm sure I could be thinner but I would probably look terrible). Before I put an extra 8 - 10 pounds weight on recently (after DC2 was born) people often told me I looked slim, even though I weighed about 11.5 stone. I really wasn't slim (did have lumps and bumps) but being tall can do you a lot of favours with regard to the size people view you as.

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 21:57

If being 6ft and a size 14 makes you skinny, what does that ,make me at 5"11 and a 10/12?? I hate the word skinny as much as larger ladies hate to be called fat!

ninah · 09/01/2010 21:59

sizes have got so much bigger now, though
a size 10 in the 80s would be really quite tiny
I think I would feel uncomfortable at a 14 personally nowadays, though I was a 14 in my early 20s and I looked alright