to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

[Coldhands]

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

That's medical research I'm referring to NAO. It was widely reported at the time of the report.

I'm referring to it now as it demonstrates how easily BMI can be misinterpreted. A low BMI does not equate to good health. People can quite easily have a low BMI whilst not eating a balanced healthy diet.

Good health is about much more than what you weigh, which is obvious really but this is scientific medical research which I've used to demonstrate that fact.

surely there has to be a degree of correlation though wubbly?

If i ate chocolate everyday but lived the same lifestyle as i do - i would gain weight - end of?

People can quite easily have a low BMI whilst not eating a balanced healthy diet.

agreed - they could also smoke 20 cigs a day and mainline heroine

as a broad guideline to calorific intake and calories burned - bmi is a good indicator?

I'm 5'2" and a size 8/10. Pre kids I was probably a 6. I struggle to maintain my weight i.e keep weight on - if I drop too far into the 8 zone my face looks drawn and horrid and I feel sort of diminished.

I think that bone structure does have a lot to do with general size. I'm pretty broad across the shoulders and am more 'squat' than willowy.

If I were taller I'd probably be a 14

why does height impact dress size?????

Proportionality. If I were a 14 I'd look quite rotund, but someone who is 5'8" would be more sort of stretched out IYSWIM.

I'm about 7.5/8 stoneish I think, the same weight apparently as nicole kidman - she's very tall and looks very slender. I'm a short arse and don't.

i dont believe Nicole kidman weighs that
she would be a skeleton

Because people a don't just grow taller. they grow in relative proportion so a 5'2" person will likely naturally have smaller width and height measurements than a 6'2" person of the same gender.

NAO, a quote from the piece

'"Good health is more than a BMI or a number on a scale. We know that people who choose a healthy lifestyle enjoy better health: good food choices, being physically active everyday, managing stress, and keeping blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels in check," said Keith Bachman MD, a weight management specialist with Kaiser Permanente's Care Management Institute.'

So yes, it's a broad indicator, a useful tool, but not set in stone.

It certainly doesn't indicate that a size 14 (whatever that might be) is viewed by doctors as a bit on the heavy side.

A bit of common sense is all that is needed, quite honestly, but I think the constant assertion that anything over a size 12 is fat is far more damaging to the health of the nation than being a few pounds overweight, whether that makes you a size 10 or a 16, depending upon where you shop.

Too many woman are damaging their health obsessing over their weight/dress size trying to obtain some notional size by yo-yo dieting or worse. Yes, there are too many people who are unhealthily overweight but I wonder how many of them got there by buying into all this diet scam shite?

I think some of the comments on this thread just add to the problem and it really gets my goat.

I read my Kidman fact in a magazine. It must be true. I'm sure that grazia is peer reviewed.

One website says that she weighs 120lbs - 8.5 stones. So there.

Nicole Kidman is a skeleton!

she must be!!! yikes - dont turn sideways nikki!

Evil, I honestly posted as a result of what my distant relative said to me, I (maybe very naively) didn't think it was going to spark such a debate, particularly about bone size etc. I guess I have found out about the weight obsession (I am not obsessed, just watch it a bit since I had my DS).

Fair enough Coldhands.

Wubblybubbly has summed it up very eloquently - there is so much money to be made by the diet industry that it overrides common sense.

Chill out!

I'm a 14 these days and don't like it much. Hate to admit it but i think on an average person a large 10 is the ideal weight. At least that's what I liked being before I had my dd. Loved it when i could go into a shop and try pretty much anything on rather than look for something that was 'flattering' ie black...

A 'large' 10 makes me look chubby. I'm 5.4" but have a very small frame (no hips ). Horses for courses.

I am a 14 - 16 and 5'10" tall, according to my dr I am in a healthy weight with a BMI of approx 24. So no, I think size 14 is just fine!

ring and tell her you are getting rid of your "fat" clothes if she is interested i've gone down to a size 13 after losing 2 stone in the past few months. too small for 14, too big for 12...

Posting from Iran (only came on to see if mumsnet is blocked here)..... and at a regional air port this morning I was hugely struck by the fact I was seeing people of normal weight, size 10s if you like,men and women. May be 1% or 0.1% were fat but that's all. A similar group of people at a UK regional air port would be on average 2 stone heavier each. It's because we don't eat normal foods and healthy meals which is a carb, protein and veg. Instead we eat a load of rubbish and our bodies get fatter and fatter. It's disgusting what some people push into their bodies.

Well fwiw I have just come back from Sweden and have also seen a lot women who appear to me to be of normal weight- at a size 12 or 14. Not necessarily because they are all 6 footers but because Scandinavian women otoh tend to be more heavily built/broad shouldered/large bosomed/with larger feet than some other nations. (not that I suppose larger feet weight that much more but it is some sort of indication that you are not built on flower-like proportions). They eat very little junk food compared to the British, and most Swedish women I know have spent a lot of their time on healthy outdoor exercise from childhood onwards, but they are not what you might call petites.

The only woman I saw who looked healthy at a size 6/8 was my Chinese SIL. And she has a very different build to your average Swedish woman. So maybe the Iranian analogy is not all that relevant.

Before you decide whether size 14 is right or not for you, you should take into consideration whether you are an average woman or not. I'm not.

14 if you're tall is fine. If you're my height 5 foot 5 healthy weights are form 8 to about 10 stone and 9 looks better than 10 on everyone, trust me on it....

So fewer donuts and take up cross country skiing. The kuna indians in Panama the other side from my island, we saw a few years ago were consistently all slim - it was amazing. They loved my son who was white blonde as they have albinos and he was like them in a way... anyway they eat fish and a carb and veg. That's what we're suppoed to eat not drink co ca cola, eat donuts etc.

Must get back to my Iraians... actually 2 of those I'm meeting are not slim and they eat more western diets.

It's not just about being tall. If you have a completely flat stomach, but have broad hips and broad shoulders you are still not going to get into size 8. My problem is clearly that I am not a kuna Indian. I am of north European ancestry and like a lot of women of such ancestry I have large feet, fairly large hands, broad shoulders, broad hips (and incidentally a well developed bosom). If I diet, it comes off my stomach and my legs, but my hips and shoulders (developed by manual labour in younger years) stay the same- I'm still not going to get into that size 8. The shoulders alone wouldn't allow it.

Swedish women eat very few doughnuts. Fish, carb and veg is still what they eat a lot of the time. And they are on the whole noticeably less fat than British women. But they still take a fairly large size in clothes, compared to non-obese British women of the same height, because they are broader and more thickly set.

Of course, lots of British women (and other nationalities) are fat because they eat too much. But it does not follow that everybody who is a size 14 is overweight.

Speaking as someone who spent their formative years digging up skeletons, it's pretty obvious even after centuries of decay that some people are naturally slenderly built- and that's after all the flesh has rotted away, so not just to do with diet.

cory - am also N European peasant stock too Even at my slimmest I was big - but it was bones sticking out instead of flab! I got down to a small 12 but was pretty gaunt.