to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

[Coldhands]

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

I consider I am a bit overweight for me, and am currently a size 14, but because I am tall, I carry it well and the excess isn't that noticeable if I choose my clothes carefully. So I would say whether 14 is big or not depends on your height and build.

You have 240 bones in your body and you are saying that you are a much larger frame as the angles of your pelvis is more pronounced?

What about other bones in your body? Can these be seen to be bigger than others with the same stuture?

Your child bearing hips give you a different figure - hour, glass and boyish alter by the angles of the bones and not the size of them.

So the net effect is the same, isn't it. My skeleton is in effect bigger than another person's of the same height.

If a you put two pencils on the table at a 45 degree angle will they be the same size if you alter the angle to a 90 angle, will the pencils become bigger?

Me and my sister are the same height. She has a much slimmer build than me, maybe its muscle mass etc, but her 'natural' size is around a 8/10 and mine is a 12. We say bone size (big boned) but I think this is just an expression to cover body build.

My bum is way bigger (but very nice imo) than hers will ever be, hips wider and rib cage broader. She has immensely delicate hands and wrists, my hands are more 'blunt'.

I am sliding into a 14 after over indulging through dec, I consider it too big for me (curvy hour glass ) but wouldn't consider it too big on other women. I am now calorie counting and intend to be a 10/12 in the next six months. I'm 5'5 and do have a very unhealthy attitude to my body

Your bones take up more space but are no bigger than some one elses, they just spread out to cover a bigger area. If that make sense?

Although my shoulders are fairly broad so not sure how the 'angle' effects that.

I don't really don't see the need for the patronising, primary school style trigonometry lesson. You said in your original post on the subject that skeletons are all the same and the only difference in weight and dress size between 2 people of the same height was the amount of fat and muscle. That isn't true because as you have now conceded, the arrangment and angles of bones will affect the size and shape the skeletal structure gives.

I know it can be hard to accept that you are wrong and/or have been too simplistic but do try.

It depends on your height. I am 5'2" and I used to be a size 12 many years ago, now I am a size 8 on top and 6/8 on the bottom but you have to take into account that my overall frame is small so I am in the healthy range for BMI (20). I think if I was a size 14 I would be near or above a BMI of 25, whereas it wouldnt be the case if i was a few inches taller.

Both my posts discuss the fact that 'big boned' is just an expression, and that different builds ae caused by fat/muscle and bone distribution. What was offensive about that?

It wasn't even aimed at you so why jump on me, I was adding my opinion alongside every one else on the thread, and gave my views on the big boned thing. Dont over read it. Do point out for me where I am wrong?

Perhaps you just don't want to understand that your bones will not effect the amount of fat you are carrying, the angles of your bones do not mean you are large frame. Perhaps you are carrying to much fat -I don't know. But you protest to much, its not an excuse

i have pretty much always been a size 14 (although not at moment size 16 with left over baby weight) I am fairly tall (5"7)

In my mid 20's I lost weight & went down to smallish size 12 - I kept getting asked if i was OK? As I did not look good that size, I thought i looked great at the time but in photos I do look quite gaunt. My body shape is hourglass so i need bit of fat.

that people think size 14 is unhealthy! I know many size 8/10 people who do absolutely no type of physical activity except to walk to their cars & maintain their weight through starvation! That is much more unhealthy than your average size 14 women, who if they are like me, eat balanced diet, allow themselves very occational treats & do some kind of exercise or physical activity.

I'm a size 14 and about 2 stone overweight. I don't look or feel very healthy or attractive at this size. I look stout! I don't know how a size 14 translates to dress sizes 20 or 30 years ago but I bet there's quite a difference.

Average height is mine, 5 foot 5 and I think I'm about 9 stone. Women this height used to be about 8 stone 10 in the 1950s apparently. Now they tend to be 2 stone heavier. Dress sizes are confusing and inches are better and clothing companies make fat British women feel better by changing over the decades what the sizes mean.

Someone of size 14 who is happy and has always been that size is much better off staying that size as 90% of people who lose weight on a diet put more off than they take off. Better to change eating habits for life so you prefer foods which are better for you and keep you mentally happy.

Plenty of people pretend they are big boned or genetically enormous or have a medical condition but I suspect no one came out of Belsen fat because of big bones. Most people who get fat are eating too much or drinking lots of calories.

If I were a size 14 I would be so happy I would run through the streets naked.

Ivy, it may not affect the amount of fat you carry, but it does have a direct affect on your clothes size. My sisters ribcage is far narrower than mine so she is an 8, my rib cage is wider so I am a 12. Neither of us really carries much fat up top, we are blessed as bottom carriers! I'm sure that if our ribcages were weighed etc they would be pretty similar, but mine takes up more space.

Should that be effect or affect? Educate me please!

Sorry I just plain can't be arsed to read the whole thread.

I think it depends on height and build tbh. I'm 5ft 10 and have broad shoulders, wide wrists etc and when I was a size 12 I looked awful. Really quite bony tbh and while I sat at that weight happily for a while, I'm not sure I could diet backl down to that now without starving myself.

A size 14 was pretty much perfect tbh and if I could get down to that (which I was pre pregnancy) and tone up, no-one on earth could call me fat.

As it is I'm about a 16 having had my DD 9 months ago and really struggling to give up the biscuits lose the rest. Having said that my friend's only a tad over 5ft and starts looking big if she gets up to a 12. All relative.

I also haven't read the whole thread but wanted to add my 2 pennies worth. I used to have an eating disorder (some anorexic tendencies but generally bulimia) and was size 10 at my thinnest/illest. Not dangerously underweight but you could clearly see my ribcage. I thought I looked good and had lots of body confidence but was unhappy generally.

Anyway, I got better (still have to be careful/aware but haven't done anything silly in several years) and my weight settled (with a healthy diet and occasional treats) at 10.5 stone- bmi spot on for my height and about size 14. No I wasn't 100% happy with my weight but much happier overall.

I think everyone has a 'natural' size and shape that their body settles to if they eat healthily and do a bit of exercise- for many this will be about 14.

Additionally, those like me who have a ridiculously huge bra size () will have to buy larger tops.

I'm somewhat larger now after giving birth and am (carefully) trying to get back to a happy 14

14 is not fat, 16 isn't either IMO.

What's all this about bones not affecting weight?! Of course everyone's bones are different. I can't quite believe someone is arguing that they won't have an effect on weight! Bones can be all different sizes, shapes and densities, which makes people tall/short/broad shouldered/small hipped/heavy/light and can have a large influence on dress size. Yes the menopause changes bone density but some people do have naturally denser bones than others. People with less dense bones are more prone to fractures than people with dense bones if they are carrying extra weight. Skinfold thicknesses are really the only good measure of whether someone has problem fat and thin doesn't automatically equal healthy particularly if you have to resrrict your diet excessively to maintain it.

lol at bonsoir's ridiculous 'aesthetically superfluous fat' surely beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because fat bothers her and all that...

But the bone thing and metabolism problems are usually used by people conning themselves into thiking it's not their fault they're 3 stone overweight, as they sit on the sofa stuffing down the crispy krems.

Bust size tends to go down as you lose weight in most of us, certainly me although it's still 32DD at 9 stone.

The main issue is that most people have just got far too fat. More people are now overweight onthe planet than starving and for the first tyime the curve of improvement of man kind as each generation is healthier is now going down, the couch potato diabetes infested very fat men and women and going to die younger than their parents. It's got to be stopped and it doesn't help mental h ealth either to be hooked on junk food.

I would love to be a size 14 again!

No it's not fat!

There is definitely something in the bone thing. My niece is the same height as me (5.2) and her ideal weight is around 9 stone whereas for me it is just under 8 stone. When she was ill she went under 8 stone and looked positively skeletal. I also worked with someone who was also a shortie and yet she looked fantastic at 10 stone, at 10 stone I would look very very overweight.

Maybe body shape has something to do with it, I am an apple shape and look better if I am at the lower end of the weight charts whereas I think pear shaped women can carry extra weight without looking porky.

xenia - What an ignorant and offensive thing to say!

I have never met anyone who is overweight who says it is because they have big bones or a metabolic disorder. I have met people who say it is because they are fat. I fail to see where you get your 'usually used' anecdotal evidence or what use it is. If someone says it to you why don't you say "No, you just sit on the sofa eating krispy kremes and could do with some exercise"

Having 'big bones' doesn't make you fat, it does give you 'big bones' though and therefore will likely make you a bigger dress size and heavier weight than someone with 'small bones'. Having a metabolic disorder does make you gain weight. A skinny person might sit on the sofa 'stuffing down the krispy kremes' too, this doesn't necessarily, although is likely to, make you fat.

Having a high metabolism makes it easier to over eat without being fat and having a low metabolism forces a greater need for being careful about what you eat. It is not all about greed and laziness - body type and metabolism has a huge role to play in height/weight/shape/dress size too, and perhaps you should spend less time judging other people and more time actually learning about the issues you are talking about.

I will probably be called overweight now, but am not. I have got a Hypothyroid, 'big bones' and have struggled to maintain my weight despite never being an overweight BMI. It takes a lot of work.

I should mention I am not trying to avoid 'aesthetically superflous fat'. My parents both have high BP and my dad has early onset CAD. With my hypothyroid and my history I have a greater risk of CAD than the next person so I am trying to maintain my weight/live healthily for health reasons.