Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

283 replies

Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:12

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

OP posts:
choufleur · 09/01/2010 21:14

I'm a size 14. i don't think i'm that big. yeh could do with losing a bit here and there but don't really care. no it isn't that bad

Bonsoir · 09/01/2010 21:16

Obviously in the greater scheme of things a size 14 is not huge. However, most women of average/tall height will be carrying a bit of aesthetically superfluous (not unhealthy) fat at a size 14 that means their clothes hang much less well and they may have a few lumps and bumps (not many of us put extra pounds only on the bits we'd like, like our breasts or bottoms...). So yes, women can look a lot more attractive when they have lost a stone or so, which is generally the difference between a 14 and a 12.

Alambil · 09/01/2010 21:17

I'm aiming for a size 14.... it ain't fat

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 09/01/2010 21:17

It's less to do with "size" and more to do with proportion and health, a 5'0 is going to be fatter than a 5'10 size 14.

AKMD · 09/01/2010 21:17

Oh I am going to get flamed... Given that sises are already bigger than they used to be, I think a size 14 is big, unless you are naturally built tall and big boned, are fabulously fit and with a healthy diet. Yes, I am aware that this is the average UK dress size. I still think women that size are not healthy. Sorry.

largeginandtonic · 09/01/2010 21:18

Bloody hope not

BikeRunSnowflake · 09/01/2010 21:18

It's fine. For me anyway, but I am of a more robust build (v wide size 8 feet, broad shoulders... ) I have been a 14 all my adult life. I have lost weight, got to a 12 and spent 2 hours a day in the gym to maintain it, but looked awful. I was also back in my 14 jeans 3 weeks after DS was born. I am meant to be a 14. COurse I would like to be slimmer, but I am fit, strong and comfortable with my size.

choufleur · 09/01/2010 21:19

average dress size is 16 not 14

LetThemEatCake · 09/01/2010 21:19

Of course it's not bad, as long as the individual feels happy, comfortable and confident. For me, size 14 is akin to disaster (had dc3 3 months ago and am back to a 12 but miserable with it) but I have definite body image/ food issues and, truth be told, would probably only be 'happy' at an unhealthy size 6 or something.

your relative sounds very rude!

choufleur · 09/01/2010 21:20

does depend on height and build though

Original poster
Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:20

AKMD, IKWYM though. My friend has gone to a 14 but she is 5"11 so obviously it doesn't look the same as someone who is 5". And I am much happier being a 12 than I was a 14.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 09/01/2010 21:20

Bonsoir - do you have some sort of alert system on your computer to let you know when all the fat debates have started?

Op - depends how tall you are - 4ft8= fat, 6ft2=skinny.

BelleDameSansMerci · 09/01/2010 21:21

I was a size 14 before I had DD. I was a hell of lot sexier when I was a 14 than I am now that I'm a 12.

I think 14/16 is lovely - very sexy, curvy and womanly.

I firmly believe that whatever they say most men like women to be that kind of size too.

So, no, YANBU.

Sukie1971 · 09/01/2010 21:21

I dream of being a size 14.... so according to Bonsoir and AKMD am obviously a big fat bloater... but you know what? I dont care... DP and DS adore me, and while I like a bar of Dairy Milk and a glass or 4 of wine, I am happy with my life.

duckyfuzz · 09/01/2010 21:22

I've just gone from a 14+ to a 12, it has taken a fair amount of effort, but I feel happier adn healthier now. i am 5'7 with wide size 8 feet so carry my weight quite well, but people have commented pn my weight loss and I have realsied that I now look how I thought I looked before, i think I was ok before, but better now

PurpleEglu · 09/01/2010 21:22

Well size 14 is quite possibly a healthy weight if you are reasonably tall.

If you are short then probably overweight, btu even then not that much

Original poster
Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:22

Oh LTEC, don't ever think a size 6 would make you happy!! If I think being thin would make me happy, I look at pictures of certain very thin celebs and I feel much better about my curves. I would much rather have a couple of extra pounds and a nice slice of chocolate cake.

OP posts:
AKMD · 09/01/2010 21:23

Ok ok, average is a 16 then. I still think a 14 for a small-averagely proportioned woman is not a healthy size.

bluesheep · 09/01/2010 21:23

No YANBU! 14 is not big! As someone who put on a truck-load of weight during both pregnancies and has not found shifting it the easiest process in the world I also want to congratulate you for losing as much as you have

Bonsoir · 09/01/2010 21:24

I would be dead before I got to a size 6. My skeleton is way too big for that!

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 21:26

It is proportional - If you are 5 foot and a size 1 you could well be effecting your health and shortening your life span.

if you are 5foot 10 and a size 14 then you would be well in proportion.

How much muscle you have in comparission to fat content in your body is also important, you could be slimish and have a large amount of fat around your organs doing considerable damamge.

It really isn't all about how you look on the outside but ver much what is going on inside

QandA · 09/01/2010 21:26

It does depend on the person, I have seen people who were probably a 10/12 normally move up to a 14 and look uncomfortable and then others who are an 18 all the time just look right iyswim?

It is more about your own natural size. I think we all know what our natural size is and anything beyond this is where we don't look 'right'

However, in general YANBU, 14 is a good size.

jaquelinehyde · 09/01/2010 21:28

14 is a fine size to be, I would never consider it fat.

choufleur · 09/01/2010 21:29

I'm with you Bonsoir. If i was a tiny size i would be dead. at my smallest as an adult i was a size 10 (and i was very skinny - you could count all of the bones in my back). it depends on the person.

Original poster
Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:29

Thanks Bluesheep . All I did was cut down on portion size. I still eat crisps and chocolate, but I will only eat snack size bars. Surprising how well that worked!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread