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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

283 replies

Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:12

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 09/01/2010 22:25

Just looked at that avg height chart

I am a freak!

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:27

Ivykaty, are you now a current size 12 or an old size 12 (ie, can you fit into the clothes you wore when 2 stone lighter)?

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:27

Why OrmI? What is average height and what are you?

ninah · 09/01/2010 22:28

we all agree the clothes are getting bigger
so a 12 now WOULD have been a 14 or 16 say THEN

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 22:28

OK winnybella, any measurement yardsticks of those areas to go by?

Generally, I would guess I have small wrists and ankles, and am 32" under bust. However, I am most definitely heavier than I should be.

But when I believe I was verging on the anorexic (see earlier posts) I was still in the 'healthy' BMI range, so wondered if heavy bones were making the extra weight??

It's hard for me to use BMI as a measurement, as I could lose too much weight and still 'seem' ok if you see what I mean?

ninah · 09/01/2010 22:28

like me she has STAYED a 12
but not really

OrmIrian · 09/01/2010 22:29

According to that chart the avg height of a woman over 25 is 5'3.5. I'm 5'11". And even for a man it's only 5'10".

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 22:30

Yes IvyKaty - That's what I mean. Your clothes are bigger now, so if you had put on weight you would still be the same size. That's what I mean. A size 12 NOW is the old size 14

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:31

Well in that case it's you and me both who are freaks as I'm the same

MillyR · 09/01/2010 22:31

I am 5 foot 10 and I am a 14; I am certainly not skinny. I am at the top of my normal weight range, and would only need to put on a few more pounds to be overweight.

I think size 8-10 looks natural on the 15-25 group and 10-12 on women from 25-55.

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:31

5"3.5??? Thats tiny actually.

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 22:31

I am saying the same as you Ivy

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:32

Wow! I'm not as short as I thought - hurrah!

OrmIrian · 09/01/2010 22:32

Oh I'm not about it at all. I'e had 44 yrs to get used to it and I like being a freak now It was just a shock to see how little everyone else is!

PeachyWillNeverVoteBNP · 09/01/2010 22:32

Big is a relative term,so if most people are a size 16 then it isn't big.

It may be bigger than your personal taste.

If it means someone is unhealthy (and that really does depend on build and height,my periods stopped completely at size 12 becuase it meant not eating) then its a problem.

But you can be a size 6 and unfit, or a size 16 and very fit if you do enough exercise.

Ultimately though nobody,OP, has the right to try and make you feel bad about yourself so whether you are happy at a weight is completely down to you, not someone else, and if not be lad you did do something about it. I overheard someone laughing about my weight and whilst it made me think I probably should start back on the plan soon, it made feel more that I wouldnt bother with them again as they are rude people.

It's good to be healthy and to feel good about yourself,but not to have to live a restrictive lifestyle to fit a weight image if it makes you unhappy. Look at your family-do they look good? If so, at what size? there's probably a few clues there for you.

Anyway OP, someone who is quite big and going on about your weight oddly probably is doing that through her own issues, don't get hung up about that, its the least relevant factor in the whole mix.

MillyR · 09/01/2010 22:32

OrmIrian, I know exactly what you mean. It took me a long time to get my head around the idea that it is not just that I am taller than most women, but that I am taller than most people.

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 22:33

With you on your last statement MillyR

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:33

wait - ruebenjames just called me a midget. Harumph...

NotAnOtter · 09/01/2010 22:33

i agree height and size irrelevent

if i were size 10 i am size ten regardless of height - it would just be shorter on me

agree with those that say 14 is not really healthy size

PeachyWillNeverVoteBNP · 09/01/2010 22:34

Bones are bones they dont weigh any mroe

Its your build- if you have hip bones set 12" or 6" apart,wide shoulders,big feet...amount of bones.

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:34

Sorry Sofa!!! No offence!
And I DO NOT like being so tall. I hate wearing heels and I can NEVER find a nice coat to fit me in the arms.

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 22:34

I am currently a size 12 and when I was 18 I was a size 12 - but I don't wear the same clothes now as I wore then far to old skinny jeans etc second time round.

So the clothes have got bigger and the tag still reads 12.

I am not hugh now, at 10 stone I am well within a good weight, I eat proper and do gym and training.

MillyR · 09/01/2010 22:38

I don't think height and size are irrelevant - my hips have to be bigger than other people's or they would collapse under the pressure of the size of the femoral head required to to support my leg length. The same applies to the broadness of my shoulders.

If I had a skeleton no broader or more robust than someone who was 5 foot tall I would be an exhibit in a freak show.

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 22:38

looks like a BMI healthy weight for me is an 'anorexic not having periods weight' then.

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 22:38

trying looking at the dutch charts instead