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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that size 14 is NOT that bad?

283 replies

Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:12

I have always been naturally thin, to the point where I wanted to put on weight. At school I actually used to get asked if I was anorexic (I was not). Sometimes commenting on being 'skinny' (hate that word) is just as bad as commenting on 'fat' people.

Anyway, I put on loads of weight after having DS and it has taken me a very long time to shift it as I can't exercise. I was wearing size 14 clothes for quite a while after, which I didn't think was that bad. Now I am back to a 12, I have had loads of comments about the weight I have lost (which does make me feel good). When I look back at the photos, yes I looked bigger than I thought I was at the time, and for me it was unnatural after always having been thin.

I bumped into a distant reletive the other day who said "oh you've lost weight" Great I thought, then she started going on and on and on about how big I was, and she lost her baby weight straight away when she had her DD (this woman is not particularly slim herself btw), and how I took soooo long to lose weight as I got so big. I told her I was only a size 14 (she thought I said 14 stone and went on about that for a bit). In the end I just "hmmmed" along until she shut up.

AIBU to think that a 14 is NOT big? Obviously I am much happier being a 12, I would say I am now slim but I have curves (and a few more wobbly bits than I would like, but we can't have everything ), and what is this bloody obsession that everyone has about weight? I recently read that a size 12 was a plus model size! WTF is that about!!

OP posts:
Undercovamutha · 09/01/2010 22:00

I wouldn't say I was thin at size 14, but I would say I was average (nowhere near fat). Now I am verging towards size 16 its a whole other story....sigh....

winnybella · 09/01/2010 22:00

downhill- I was a model and, yes, I think most models would score v.low on bmi, but, while there are some who are size 2 and are naturally skinny, there's plenty who are size 8 and anorexic- just because they have bigger bones and so have to starve themselves to fit into designers' clothes.
I would say 40/60 ratio for healthy/ on constant diet or anorexic

FordCapri · 09/01/2010 22:01

I was a size 14 before I had my kids. I'm 5ft 6 ins and an average frame.
DP and I used to enjoy lots of meals out, drinks, treats and I was the heaviest I ever was...about 11 stone.
Since having the kids I have gradually lost weight down to a size 10. I now weigh 9.5 stone and feel better and certainly look better.
I didn't look large as a 14 though. TBH once people start paying you compliments on your weight loss then you start becoming a bit obsessed with maintaining it.
I now only eat 4 rivita, a cup-a-soup and a proper dinner + 4 digestives a day and I'm always hungry. {sad}

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 22:03

Wouldn't BMI also be skewed if someone had high bone density though?

If your bones weigh proportionally more you would always be on the heavier side no matter what 'fat' you carried would you not?

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:04

That is sad Capri, I wish the bloody media didn't encourage people to be so image obsessed. The world would be a far happier place....

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 22:04

Average size doesn't matter as we are all getting bigger and more unhealthy in general so what we average has nowt to do with it. I think size 14 is too big for me anyway but wouldn't bat an eyelid at anyone else being a size 14 or 16. Besides, my mum is slim for a woman of her age but has BROAD shoulders and needs a size 16 to fit them (and then is loose around her tummy) so sometimes it means nothing.

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:05

BMI is a poor calculation anyway as muscle ways more than fat, so a fit muscly person could have a higher BMI than someone less healthy.

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 22:06

I did a BMI check ages ago when I was thin (I was so thin my periods stopped; I was eating a pot noodle, a few grapes and about 6 crackers a day) but according to the BMI I was still in the healthy weight range. Can't say I have a lot of faith in bmi.

winnybella · 09/01/2010 22:08

yes, am suspicious of bmi as well as I'm supposedly in the middle of the normal range, but wobble all over and my DP is in the low end of overweight and hasn't got a gram of fat on him.

traceybath · 09/01/2010 22:09

Well I would look and feel fat at a size 14 but am only 5ft.

So for me a size 8 is what feels right.

Friends who are taller say 5ft8 and a size 12 look proportionally similar to me.

So as others have said it depends on height and body type.

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 22:09

When I was 18 I was 8 stone, I eat a healthy diet and my hips where infront of my belly. I did about 5 hours of karate every week and consequently had a stomach like an ironing board.

I was a size 12, I couldn't get in a size 10 as my hips potroduded to far for me to get the zip up. I am 5f8 so not short.

Now I am still a size 12 - you tell me how when I am now two^^ stone heavier.

Basicly you can say that the shops have conned us and a size 14 is the old size 16. Cs there is now way I am the same size as I was far to many years ago.

My dd1 is 17 and she gets in a size 8, she is identical to me with hps before belly.

So sorry but a size 14 is BIG, no you don't want to hear it but get in a time machine as a size 14 and go back to 1982 and you will not get into a size 14 and you will look much much bigger than your contempories.

As a population we have got bigger, the shops have apeased us so we don't ntcie and cos your mates are bgger aswell - noone thinks anyone is much bigger.

It is a con and we will not admitt it i we don't have to....

defineme · 09/01/2010 22:10

5 ft10 and I have to weigh over 12 stone to have an overweight BMI (more to have an obese BMI). I have been a size 14 trouser size (though size 10 to 12 on top) since I was about 13 and have weighed around 10 12 to 11 7 and remained a size 14 and firmly in the healthy weight range of BMI.
However, I have bumps and wobbly bits which some posters seem to find the true measure of overweight rather than the medical profession's BMI.

Can't seem to get terribly worked up about weight unless it's a health issue.

'You'll do' is a helpful reaction when you look in the mirror with an occasional 'you've scrubbed up well' -at least I find it to be anyway.

ninah · 09/01/2010 22:11

you are right there ivykaty
there is no way I have shrunk after 2dc

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:11

Duh at my spelling mistake
It's all a load of nonsense The BMI thing, I think most people know what weight/size suits them, and don't need some poxy equation to make them feel bad about themselves.

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 22:14

I struggle to comprehend how the medical profession;s measure could put me in the healthy weight range when I was clearly severely underweight, possibly anorexic.

"Many girls with anorexia find their periods stop, quite often even before much weight has been lost (in fact, lack of periods is one of the features essential to make a diagnosis of this condition)."

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 22:15

I thought it was the other way round IvyKaty - I thought the new size 14 is the old size 12. i think clothes have got BIGGER not smaller which would make sense as we are all getting bigger....

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:18

One can be a size 4 and not have bones showing, but I'm only a small boned 5'2". If I was a size 8/10, I'd be very podgy and positively enormous as a 14.

If I was 6 inches taller, I'd be skeletal as a size 4 and heavy-ish at 14.

downhillfast · 09/01/2010 22:19

How do you all know whether you are small or large boned?

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:20

And yes, clothes sizes have gotten larger. I am the same size as when I was a teenager, and then I wore a US size 4 - now a US size 00. I still fit into the old size 4, and it fits the same, and sometimes even smaller, then the current 00. I have heard similar complaints by my British friends about sizes changing upwards.

ninah · 09/01/2010 22:22

ooh I am not complaining
am enjoying the illusion

ruebenjames · 09/01/2010 22:23

If they make clothes larger as people get larger then why aren't many companies catering for us tall people??

winnybella · 09/01/2010 22:23

downhill- I think your ankles and wrists is a good indication. Also circumference under breasts? Any places where there is not much fat.

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:24

One clue is wrist diameter. Not very accurate, and there isn't really a scientific definition - more a general idea.

Ivykaty44 · 09/01/2010 22:25

meltedchocolate - then why am I still a size 12 when two stone heavier?

How can I be a size 12 at 8 stone and then twenty odd years later and two stone more be still the same size 12?

I went for a bone scan last summer as there is a family history of osteoperiousis (sp) and they told me there and then what my bones my bone density

SofaQueen · 09/01/2010 22:25

Ah, crossed posts with winnybella!