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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DH choose between us and old family?

589 replies

WashwithCare · 08/01/2010 21:39

DH previously had a 10 yr living together relationship with a woman who already had 2 kids from 2 different dads. Children were 1 and 3 when she moved in with DH. They do not see their own fathers and call DH dad.

DH left his ex when we met (bit of a whirl wind romance) and 6 mths later, we married. I'm expected our first baby this month.

DH tried to be reasonable, and let his ex-gf stay in his house. He is a super high earner, and also paid child support at well above CSA rates, and more besides. HIs ex is always demanding more money, despite the fact that he is not he kid's father, and they weren't married.

Last 2 years have been a nightmare re his old family. His ex turns up screaming on teh door step, kids scream abuse at me - and oldest has now started stealing stuff from our house. Contact is patchy, and mum either changes arrangemetn at last minute, so expensive hols, show tickets etc are lost or literally dumps the kids on our doorstep.

She hasn't worked in years, and has made no attempt to train or find work.

I have had enough. I am seriously considering telling DH (and I do love him so much) that it't either them or me.. Unless he evicts them from his house, has no further contact and stops any more payments, I will walk!

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Maryz · 05/10/2011 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissPenteuth · 05/10/2011 14:20

WWC was well known troll aquashiv. Got banned quite a while ago.

MissPenteuth · 05/10/2011 14:20

Ah, x-posts.

fourkids · 05/10/2011 14:23
  1. it's the 'super' bit of 'super high earner' that seems a bit over descriptive.
  1. DH isn't really an earl
  1. I dunno about trolls. I just take everyone at face value. I'm intiigued to find though, that even threads that are started by posters who get accused of being trolls, make you think about things, review your opinions, and consider or learn from other people's opinions.
Maryz · 05/10/2011 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fourkids · 05/10/2011 14:26

wasted half an hour of my life there then. better go and wash some dirty clothes.

legallyblond · 05/10/2011 14:28

Eh. But why was it resurrected? Confused

lesley33 · 05/10/2011 14:33

Do you have your own DC?

My dad left his 1st wife and kids to get together with my mum. My mum made it very difficult for my dad to see his other kids - although I don't think he tried too hard either. The message my siblings and I got from this is that if my parents split up, my dad probably wouldn't bother seeing us.

So if you have DC how you act will affect not only your DH's DC, but also any kids you may have as well.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 05/10/2011 14:34

sorry I am confused, whats going on? who and how has this been brought back.... UCM is that you?

Maryz · 05/10/2011 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 05/10/2011 14:42

Fourkids are you ........oh never mind

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 05/10/2011 14:42

world

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/10/2011 14:44

I was thinking about her yesterday and then, bugger me, here she is again. Spooky.

pmsl @ UCM

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 05/10/2011 14:47

Actually reading snippets of WWC's posts I realise that I doubt she ever went away..........

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