To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

Why does it bother you?

YABU.

Lovely holiday for them.
Her kids, her choice.

you are jealous.

Because now we have two depressed overweight teens to deal with! Grrrrrrrr.

No not jealous at all - I had a lovely holiday myself with DP and DD and I would have hated to go to Miami. Different tastes...

how the hell did they gain that much weight in 2 weeks ?!

sorry, are you talking excess flesh or excess clothing?
Are they depressed because they can no longer fit the clothes they bought?

Cancel the window cleaner this month, and have them do it.

I'm confused? Your Ex-wife took her step-sons to Miami? Why do you have to deal with her step-sons?

NO, the exwife of her husband took bonsoirs step kids, ie her OWN kids on holiday.

I think.

I have no idea how they managed to gain so much weight - they must have eaten themselves silly. DP's mother, who saw exW this weekend, says she is enormous, and DSS1 calls his mother "Jumbo" because of her big a*, so they have obviously just eaten way too much.

I'm not happy about the DSSs getting a whole new A&F wardrobe either - overindulgent and tacky IMO...

Ah! I see, thanks 2010 - makes sense now! I must be a bit snow blind this morning...

DS1 calls his mother 'jumbo' . Charming.

So you are pissed off because she took her own DCs on holiday?

Did you weigh them as soon as they walked through the door?

YABU.

But I agree that Miami is grim.

Her children her choice to overindulge and spoil them.

You are overweightly challenged, bonsoir. It is not polite to point out such weightgain, never mind discussing exw in this unflattering manner with your mil.

So they put on, what, uses fingers about 9 pounds and that makes you depressed?!

She took them for the whole Christmas fortnight, when in theory one week of the holiday should have been spent with us (50:50 residency arrangement). And proves, yet again, that she is incapable of taking reasonable care of them. Grrrrr. Because DP will be the one that gets them to lose the weight, and it's a lot of miserable hard slog.

We didn't need to weigh them to see the weight gain (though DP did weigh them after their shower, just to check).

Parents are not free to overindulge their children. There is such a thing as parental responsibility.

fgs, dont be such a stick insect, let them join a gym or send them for tennis lessons! Take them out jogging! It is de rigeur for teenagers to be healthy and develop a good strong body. You dont have to diet them!

Do they live with you & you now need to deal with the "fallout" as you perceive it?

If teenagers, they are old enough to control themselves re food?

HOw old are they? Am a little concerned about the obsession with weight gain/loss/weighing on scales after shower to check/calling exw jumbo.

Unless of course there's some background involving health issues or something that would make this a genuine reason to be depressed

Obviously if she's messing about with the terms of a prearranged agreement, that's a problem and DP needs to talk it over with her.

But leave the weight out of it please. Poor kids, having their weight discussed and argued over. Most people put on weight over christmas/on holiday; they will probably lose it anyway (I'm always a bit heavier in winter and lose it in summer too - tis natural). It's absolutely the worst thing you can do unless you want to give these poor teens a complex and eating issues.

They do plenty of sport already and there really isn't a second left for anymore.

It is important to be a healthy weight, and TBH they are both very depressed about the weight gain - DSS1 was horrified to realise he weighs the same as me.

Bonsoir what are you talking about? I am sure you are Thrilled about her weight gain she is the ExW!