To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

That sounds incredibly fucked up to me.

Ugh at the breakfast convo.

And also, do you have children with your DP?

Did your DH leave his ex-w because she put on weight?

"Everyone talked about their weight and how many kgs overweight or underweight they were. It's like talking about the weather here!"

Oh my God, that sounds boring. I'm keen on keeping my weight down - hate being over the bare minimum for healthy BMI - but I wouldn't want to bore the shite out of other people with it... what's there to say?

If my children went to Miami for a month and stuff themselves they wouldn't come back lardy. I reckon you have blown your online slim cover and they were fat to start with.

Are you really 20 stone in a shell suit and 'Bonsoir the stick insect parisien chic' is your alter ego?

Georgimama - we are all three the same age (less than a year between us). I think you should keep your imagination in check!

How odd to make children feels bad about a little holiday/Christmas weight gain

They will quickly lose it being active children but now know that you think they are overweight and get angry about it!

Well perhaps DSS2 was in tears due to their grandmothers' reaction?

Perhaps because they had been made to feel ashamed of their weight gain by overly fussy and weight-obsessed people around them?

Perhaps I am hugely negligent but I couldn't actually tell you what either of my DCs weigh - only that they seem average for their height and age. They are healthy young boys who regularly swim, play tennis, ski, spend hours playing outside on bikes etc. The only time I notice their weight would be when either is about to go through a growth spurt and they seem to get a little more rounded first before shooting up 3cm in height!

The exW doesn't have custody (I've never said that) - it's shared residency (sadly not shared parenting).

DSS1 is nearly 15, DSS2 is 12 and DD is 5.

I tend to agree that the boys were probably upset at the thought of having failed you.

DP's mother is overweight and in very poor health, and absolutely not judgemental on these things.

or maybe DSSs just feel tired and overwrought by all internal wrangling and criticism of their mother and her parenting skills.

So your 15 year old DSS weighs under 9 stone? How tall is he?

Aren't teenagers supposed to be a bit sturdy though?

Shared residency... And how is that split?

Well the 15 yr old should be monitoring his own weight. He should also be old enough to make and attend his own medical appointments too.

Ruby - Croissants -black coffee and water only.

DSS1 is totally oblivious to anyone else's opinion on anything so hardly likely to feel a failure in his parents' eyes. DSS2 is much more likely to feel upset about what his peers say to him...

Oh fgs lay off Bonsoir a bit. She's pissed off because if the children are now overweight it will be her and her dh who deal with it, rather than the boys's mother who allowed it to happen. Not sure why everyone is so overexcited about it.

I am so glad that dh got appointed to Brussels where there is chocolate, beer and frites, and people enjoy food and life; than to Paris where they obviously all obsess about their weight and are evidently very boring if that's all they can talk about.

Whats wrong with the kids getting new clothes?

Whats wrong with the kids missing a week of the 50/50 custody with you so they can go on holiday? (im assuming at 15 and 12 they are old enough to decide what they want to do)

Whats wrong with the kids putting on a bit of weight over Christmas especially while on holiday?

Sorry but you are coming across as being a bit harsh.

Because, crumpet, she is making it the be all and end all of everything! Do they sound obese to you?

TheCrackFox - that's an English opinion. The way social security (NHS equivalent) works here is that children are dependent on their parents for medical stuff.

I still think you are making a mountain out of a molehill...