Potential fraud?

[DontKnowWhatToDoNext]

I am prepared to be flamed so go ahead but WWYD in my situation?

In brief - DH and I split up last year. 6 months ago, I lost my job due to depression and have since started getting better, have been living on benefits since then with DH paying maintenance for our 3 DCs. I have been desperately trying to get another job but my sickness record at my last job has gone against me. Last month, I was given notice to quit my rented house because the landlord wants to sell - runs out end of Jan.

Over the last few months DH and I have been giving our relationship another go and fell into bed last month (definitely not planned) and I have just found out I'm pregnant which was not supposed to happen . We have discussed it at length and want to get back together (we split up because we have been through a lot of shit over the last few years and blamed each other and basically were hating each other all the time). Time apart has helped sort that out and he has been round almost everyday to see the kids so they have not been that badly affected.

Now I had been to the council (before I found out about the pregnancy) and told them that I am about to be made homeless and they basically said that I would have to find another private rent or they would put me in a B&B.

Now bad as this sounds, I want to try for a council house (even if it means a B&B for a few months as the rents are so high in this area (1000 for a passable 3 bed and now I will need a 4 bed which will be about 1200) so do not intend to get back with DH 'officially' until this happens. DH works but only brings in about 1800 a month and we will never be able to live on his wage in private rented especially as I won't be able to work with a baby and I can't stand the insecurity of having to move all the time (we have moved 3 times in the last 3 years). I am also bankrupt and will not be able to private rent unless I have a guarantor which I don't! Part of the reason for the problems with DH and I were financial as we lost everything (including our own home) when his business went under a few years back. He will also have to go bankrupt soon as his debts have been hanging around and with another child to pay for, he will not be able to pay them.

DH has his own flat and is not actually living with me so AIBU and a total scumbag to try and get a council house as a single parent??

Lulumama - I said that in my previous post.

By your reasoning would it be ok when DH and I live apart next year for me to claim benefits (I don't work) despite the fact that he is paying for the house/school fees/car and giving me more than enough money to live very comfortably....?!

Afterall we wont be living together

Can see this thread has descended into nastiness Expat thanks a lot. Not very constructive and unplanned pregnancies happen all the time. Hope you are never trapped in a situation where you have to go bankrupt when you tryed so hard not to let that happen, you nasty bint.

sorry, said what in your previous post?

look, at the end of the day , you and DH want to make a go of it, you've ended up pregnant, and you need to face up to it.

you asked if you were being unreasonable, you are prepared to be flamed, and i thikn you are being totally unreasonable

what happens if you get found out?

wold you be evicted?

i don't believe the only way out with bad credit / banckrupcy is defrauding the council

my friend has shite credit and paid 6 months rent upfront for a private rental. there are ways and means without doing what you propose

(hi expat!)

tried not tryed obviously.

you ask about committing fraud and then get arsey when people are sniffy about it??

do you want everyone to say , well done, that's the right thign? if so, posting in AIBU was a mistake

'Not very constructive and unplanned pregnancies happen all the time. Hope you are never trapped in a situation where you have to go bankrupt when you tryed so hard not to let that happen, you nasty bint.'

I already have gone bankrupt, Dont.

I've lost everything, even a marriage.

Just didn't expect to be given a fresh start scot-free.

Sure, unplanned pregnancies happen all the time.

How does that translate into telling the council an untruth to get a 4-bed?

That makes me a nasty bint?

Maybe, but at least I don't have to worry about being thrown out for fraud.

Hiya, Lulu .

How exactly am I committing fraud when my DH pays maintenance and has his own flat. It may be immoral but at the end of the day I am trying to make the best of the situation I am in and lots of people do worse. I am not naturally an immoral person that is why I am so worried about it. Expat was way below the belt IMHO.

You need to look at all the legitimate options. If you get a home fraudulently now, you are starting off your 'new' relationship in a lie. How can that be a good thing when you say you have already been though such hard times together? You will end up getting caught and that would make life even worse - apart from the fact that this kind of fraud is morally wrong. Surely your relationship and your life will be far better for making sensible decisions now, cutting your coat according to your cloth and not living at someone else's expense.

You don't 'need' a 4 bedroom house - a three bedroom flat would do. As others have said, investigate tax credits etc. I also live in the southeast and I think the rents you are quoting are high. I rent privately in a very smart area of central London and pay not much more than you are quoting. Rents in the surrounding less smart areas are around £800 a month for a three bed flat and council tax will be commensurately lower than on a house. You will be able to find something much cheaper but you will not be able to be picky.

Your husband is obviously in an OK job and can rent somewhere in his name, removing your concerns about your financial status.

Can you get some work? How old are your children? If you and husband are living together again could you work in the evenings for a while? Shelf stacking? Barmaid?

If a fourth child is actually going to push your husband, the only wage earner in the family, into bankruptcy, in your position I would be seriously considering whether a fourth child was a possibility. You need to think about your existing three kids - you sound so overstretched already. As others have already said, a life in hostels or bottom-rung social housing is no fun.

You don't need a 4 bedroom house, you put all girls in one room, all boys in another room.

Try to remember that you don't need the biggest room just because you have a double bed. Put yourself in the smallest room your bed will fit into. Put your clothes in roller boxes under your bed.

if you have 3 of one sex and 1 of the other, invest in bunk beds and give the 3 same sexes the largest room.

This is very doable.

because you will be pretending to be single, when you're going to be a married couple again.

you refer to it as potential fraud yourself.

anyway, this thread is making me want to say, whateeeeeeever and move on to something else.

best of luck OP< you won't get a pat on the head from me

Financially reckless - fuck right off. My DH worked 16 hour days until we lost a major contract with another company that went bust. Unfortunately we could not have foreseen that .

'Expat was way below the belt IMHO.'

And no one else was, either?

Or is it just those who disagree with you?

I agree, Reality.

Have struggled with depression now for over 6 years.

We have debts, too, that we're working hard to pay off.

But hey, I don't know what I'm talking about and if I post something you disagree with I'm a nasty bint and below the belt.

I agree, Lulu.

Going into a B&B sucks.

Expat - you insinuated that instead of sorting debts, 'we went bankrupt instead' as if that was an easy option as you should know yourself it's not. That was below the belt.

'Expat - you insinuated that instead of sorting debts, 'we went bankrupt instead' as if that was an easy option as you should know yourself it's not. That was below the belt.'

You said you had already gone bankrupt.

Then you said your spouse was going to go bankrupt as: 'He will also have to go bankrupt soon as his debts have been hanging around and with another child to pay for, he will not be able to pay them.'

I'm not the only one who read that as basically, you were both irresponsible, and as a result, he's going bankrupt rather than sort the debt out.

But argue away! You'll try to justify it to yourself anyhow you can.

You might find out the hard way that YABU because that B&B action sucks so hard and, as someone wrote, it can go from months to years.

To the poster who said that people do not have to be living together to be considered cohabiting I have one word bullshit.
Cohabiting means living with someone, for god's sake! If you are NOT living with someone you cannot be cohabiting.

I plead with the OP to go and see her local Citizens' Advice Bureau regarding this issue.
Honestly, OP, it is your best bet. You will not get fobbed off with half-truths there. Please, it does not sound as if you're in a position to afford a solicitor, so go see the next best thing- CAB.