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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Potential fraud?

411 replies

DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 22/12/2009 14:30

I am prepared to be flamed so go ahead but WWYD in my situation?

In brief - DH and I split up last year. 6 months ago, I lost my job due to depression and have since started getting better, have been living on benefits since then with DH paying maintenance for our 3 DCs. I have been desperately trying to get another job but my sickness record at my last job has gone against me. Last month, I was given notice to quit my rented house because the landlord wants to sell - runs out end of Jan.

Over the last few months DH and I have been giving our relationship another go and fell into bed last month (definitely not planned) and I have just found out I'm pregnant which was not supposed to happen . We have discussed it at length and want to get back together (we split up because we have been through a lot of shit over the last few years and blamed each other and basically were hating each other all the time). Time apart has helped sort that out and he has been round almost everyday to see the kids so they have not been that badly affected.

Now I had been to the council (before I found out about the pregnancy) and told them that I am about to be made homeless and they basically said that I would have to find another private rent or they would put me in a B&B.

Now bad as this sounds, I want to try for a council house (even if it means a B&B for a few months as the rents are so high in this area (1000 for a passable 3 bed and now I will need a 4 bed which will be about 1200) so do not intend to get back with DH 'officially' until this happens. DH works but only brings in about 1800 a month and we will never be able to live on his wage in private rented especially as I won't be able to work with a baby and I can't stand the insecurity of having to move all the time (we have moved 3 times in the last 3 years). I am also bankrupt and will not be able to private rent unless I have a guarantor which I don't! Part of the reason for the problems with DH and I were financial as we lost everything (including our own home) when his business went under a few years back. He will also have to go bankrupt soon as his debts have been hanging around and with another child to pay for, he will not be able to pay them.

DH has his own flat and is not actually living with me so AIBU and a total scumbag to try and get a council house as a single parent??

OP posts:
purplepeony · 23/12/2009 17:41

I did not suggest termination so someone else could get a council house.

I suggested it because a) it was an accident 2) you cannot afford to support 3 children without tax payers' help.

Save your outrage for when the DWP finds out that you have defrauded them.

curryfreak · 23/12/2009 17:42

Did you erm, 'accidentally' fall pregnant, so you could claim you need a 4 bedroomed house.

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 23/12/2009 17:46

Why would I go to the DWP - what are you on about. I get maintenance from my DH and top up housing, council and tax credits. I do not claim anything from the DWP. Anyone on a low wage would claim the same as me I should imagine. Are they all scum? The fact I do not work is not through lack of trying.

So you are superior to anyone who has an unplanned pregnancy. You are a loon as I should imagine quite a few people on this forum have had a least one.

BTW I have checked today with someone I know who works in housing and I will not be committing fraud. My DH can move in afterwards if we want and anyway, even if we were together our housing application would be treated the same. SO put that in your pipe and smoke it . I am off to do something constructive, maybe you should too?

OP posts:
purplepeony · 23/12/2009 17:46

FWIW I have rented and I know that some people live overseas, or elsewhere in the UK, and rent out their homes more-or-less indifintely.

I cannot believe you are coming back here to attack other people.

Have you no shame woman? no- don't bother to reply.

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 23/12/2009 17:47

How could I have guaranteed that I would fall pregnant at that time when I had been given notice? You sometimes don't get pregnant just with one time you know, or did they not teach you that in school .

OP posts:
purplepeony · 23/12/2009 17:48

God, you are mad.

Go and do something useful- like getting a job you stupid woman.

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 23/12/2009 17:49

Have you nothing more eloquent to say? Pathetic .

OP posts:
Original poster
DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 23/12/2009 17:50

Purplepeony - are you totally brainless or can you not see that I have attacked from all sides. I am prepared to be flamed but also to defend myself .

OP posts:
NancyDrewRocks · 23/12/2009 17:50

FWIW I believe the OP is probably committing fraud. That is my opinion as a lawyer who has been instructed by both the proscution and defence in Customs/DSS fraud cases.

Could I prove it beyond reasonable doubt and get a conviction: probably not. Doesn't mean it is not so.

nighbynight · 23/12/2009 17:51

You are inside the law as long as you and dh are not living together and he is not supporting you outside agreed and declared maintenance, so go for it.
You cannot predict teh future, the fact is that you are a single parent until you get back together, and it's your responsibility to look after your children.

People who are shocked by this probably havent seen much real benefit fraud.

Original poster
DontKnowWhatToDoNext · 23/12/2009 17:53

I have had it from the horses mouth, so to speak that I am not, so your opinions are really irrelevant now. End of thread perhaps.

Thanks Nighby.

OP posts:
curryfreak · 23/12/2009 17:54

oh, forgot to say, if I knew you personally, and what you were up too,- i'd have no hesitation in reporting you.
Sick and tired of this type of entitlement attitude.
You are abusing the systemm, and I hope you get found out eventually.

purplepeony · 23/12/2009 17:55

Oh I love you OP! I am sooo glad you are back to talk to us after all the posts asking where you were and what you were doing.

NancyDrewRocks · 23/12/2009 18:02

OP if you are seriously saying that you went to the housing office and told them that you and DH were giving it another go but weren't going to do so "officially" until after you had a house then I think you are lying that they told you it was fine.

I suspect that what you mean is that you dressed it up as "I don't know what is happening and he might not support me bullshit bullshit bullshit".

singersay · 23/12/2009 18:09

purplepeony I know I should read before clicking that send button hey... oh well... you all got the jist of what I was saying

marantha · 23/12/2009 18:16

Yes, thanks nighbynight -you are the voice of reason.

marantha · 23/12/2009 18:20

OP, just because you are within the law, I must say, in a way it's a bit of a hollow victory.
I hope you can turn your life around and not be reliant on others for money- it's a shit position to be in. I wish you all the best, though- there but for the grace of god and all that- come back here when you're earning good money and tell these judgemental idiots to get off.

Casserole · 23/12/2009 18:22

OP I wouldn't hesitate to shop you either.

I also think you're being incredibly thick to put as much detail as you have on here...

smokinaces · 23/12/2009 18:22

Um, if you and DH were officially together your housing claim would not be treated the same.

You would no longer be classed as "homeless" as he has adequate housing for you to live in

You would no longer be priority need, as your husband had a big enough salary to support you all and you could afford private rented accomodation.

So on those two levels you wouldnt get enough points to be rehoused in about 5 years.

As a single mother of 3 about to be made homeless you get a lot more points and chance of a council house than if you were a married couple with a steady income. The council would simply choose not to give you priority points as you can rent privately.

so on that note, by going to the council as a single mother and then immediately moving your DH in you are deceiving the council allocations process and are being fraudulant.

If you are that confident you would still be rehoused as a couple go down there and claim as a couple.

And DWP are the ones who deal with income support - what the majority of single mothers with no income claim. Are you not?

purplepeony · 23/12/2009 18:34

I think she will be shopped- MNs are everywhere and there is a huge amount of detail here.

Hope so.

Lucyhugbox · 23/12/2009 18:49

what an unpleasant thread.

op, in your shoes I would also consider council housing as a possible option. You don't know that things will reconcile with your dh to the point that he moves in with you (obv you would declare it if he did) - and you do need to secure accommodation for you and dcs.

It would be my last resort tbh, and I would think of other ideas way before this.

As for those suggesting you abort your baby, shame on them.

sickofsocalledexperts · 23/12/2009 18:53

Are we sure it's not a Daily Mail wind-up/troll?

SecretSquirrel193 · 23/12/2009 18:56

Sick - I am fairly sure I recognise the MN'r

purplepeony · 23/12/2009 19:09

Lucy -in your shoes I would also consider council housing as a possible option. You don't know that things will reconcile with your dh to the point that he moves in with you (obv you would declare it if he did)

Read the first post- she says they will not be together "officially" until the house is sorted- that means living under the same roof.

CaptainDarcyCasuabonHenchard · 23/12/2009 20:47

What singersay said at 15.30. Spelling mistakes and all (who cares, for goodness sake!)

Don'tknow - how extraordinary that you are objecting to people criticising you when you have (let me just double-check here) posted in AIBU and called your thread 'Potential fraud'.

Happy Christmas one and all!

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