Children's parties and bridezilla like attitudes.

[MsDoctor]

Before I begin my ds(aged 7) doesn't care and doesn't really know about it.....

So he's just got back from a party where only some of the boys were invited for a sleep over.

In this house we try to be fair about everything and would insist that if ds wanted to have people for a sleep over he wouldn't be able to invite more children for a ice skating/cinema/climbing party. I would just feel it was unfair to the children left out.

It's almost bridezilla like to allow your children to disregard anyone else's feelings like this. We just wouldn't do it, our dcs would have to decide whether to have a sleep over or a party with lots of children.

Am I unreasonable to think this is teaching your children to be selfish and spoilt?

disclaimer... I feel like this about adult parties too, I was invited to one the other day and only realised when I got there that only 15 out of 25 parents had been invited, leaving the others left out.

Here's some advice which we would all do well to heed:

"The children's party is all too often the
arena in which parental competition
reaches its apotheosis, a red-blooded
battle to outdo and trump each other,
which can often turn very nasty."

and

"If you can elicit a list of favoured friends from your child, this is the best option. But bear in mind that a list of friends that includes virtually everyone is the class, with just three or four exceptions, is a poisoned chalice."

Nothing about 2 part parties unfortunately.

However, on weddings, it is quite unequivocal:

"If the church or registry office (or other venue) is small, or if numbers are simply too tight, then it is acceptable to invite some guests to the reception alone, or just to evening celebrations."

Debretts has spoken

ISNT - welcome to bring your friends along - so long as they bring a bottle - as I always make spare party bags just in case. Perhaps I draw the line at them joining the sleepover though? What does Debretts say about sleepovers? Does one need a butler to be able to host them?

Debretts appears to have it spot on.

Do I need a copy for xmas?

I'm only bringing piscesmoon I think you know her? But I think you may be slightly better friends with her - not sure where that leaves us re the sleepover...

I hate sleepovers! I will be tired and want my own bed rather than a sleeping bag on someone's floor. However, my mother is staying and she will take it as a sign that I am not a social success and be very protective of my feelings-it leaves me in a dilemma. If asked- I'll stick to 'I'm not bothered'and hope to get home.

I am disgusted that you aren't going to sleep over pisces, even though that is what you want.

Gosh, that pisces is all mouth and no trousers. Look at her, fast asleep on the bean bag in the corner! She clearly is joining the sleepover after all but this way can pretend it was just an accident.

I think it's rather sweet .

Sleepover by stealth

I wanted to keep my mother happy-I couldn't stand the thought of her going on and on about me 'missing out', despite me telling her I wasn't bothered! I will now be tired and crabby-but at least I got the same as the 'A' list guests! (I only got about 2 hrs sleep on that bean bag).

Pisces, next time I will make you an A list guest because I'm so thrilled with the way you tidied up this morning while I was still asleep.

Not sure how we are going to get that Baked Alaska out of the carpet though...I think somone danced on it!

Can I cross-thread and wish you a Happy Crimbo now!!

Did anyone pull?