AIBU to wonder why anyone would want to live like this?

[LetThereBeRock]

I know this could be a controversial topic, most likely will be,and each to their own, none of my business etc but I really can't understand it.

A friend is getting married soon.She's a real bibliophile,as is her soon to be dh, and has asked for several books on her wedding list.

However some of the books she has asked for are rather odd,The Surrendered Wife for example, The Politically Incorrect Wife,Liberated Through Submission and similarly titled books.

I've Googled them and the lifestyle they advocate certainly isn't one that I agree with or would care for.

An example from The Surrendered Wife ' surrendered wife always says yes and is always available for sex."'

I thought at first that the wedding list was a bit of a joke, but I've spoken to her since,albeit briefly, and apparently it's not.

So AIBU to wonder why anyone would want to live a submissive life, and AIBU to think that's it rather odd to request such things on one's wedding list?

I

Dittany, there is one thing that you really have a talent for and that is twisting what people say to suit your agenda.

Any sensible person reading Snorbs point can see the point that all socio-political movements have an extreme fringe and that feminism is no exception.

The reason why most people give up arguing with you is not because you logically refute their arguments, but because you have no appreciation for the big picture point they are making.

OK I've not read the book, but I hate the idea of anything that suggests that the solution to a wife being over-controlling is for her to 'submit' to her husband rather than to aim for an equal partnership.

For more balanced relationship advice try 'Don'ts for husbands' and 'Don'ts for wives' written in 1913. Seriously.

"With regards to man-hating, it always seems to me that the anti-feminists are the one who hate men. Laura Doyle for example paints them as dimwits who can't be trusted to pay the bills on time and has all manner of stupid ideas."

Sorry, not going to join in with this discussion anymore, it has been done to it's death on MN now but just wanted to say.

She may not be painting a picture of men, but she is painting a picture of my husband Useless with bills (actually if left bills to him we would be homeless - no joke) and the ideas he comes up with sometimes!!! (says she with her brillaint ideas )

Never would be descibed as a feminist but agreed with a previous poster who said that a relationship evolves depending on what is needed. I don't want to be the dominant one but would not like to be a doormat either.

Anyway, a new years resolution for me willl have to be to steer clear of topics like these. Merry Christmas ladies (and any men among us)

Ah I see people are no longer arguing about the book but about feminism. I consider myself a feminist but I think that there is an 'extreme' feminism - the school of thought in the 70s that said that you had to be a lesbian to be a true feminist. Completely irrelevant to any arguments today though.

Just read through the last couple of pages and realised the whole discussion has now been made mochery of anyways. Dittany, you are twisting words as people have said but you are also contradicting yourself.

The are NO extreme feminists? That is more crazy than saying most of them are extreme. A couple where pointed out earlier.

You say people saying something doesn't make it true/ untrue. Same goes for you.

dittany he was suggesting that man haters were extreme feminists not that all extremists were man haters. When you said 'no' he said there are those that are extreme (in such a way) no?

Is snorbs a man?

Good.

meltedtreechocolates I agree - must stay away from these threads in future(I can hear all the feminists start cheering).

This thread is very depressing.

Calm down dittany.

We get the message - your a feminist.

Just read this. 'I don't want to be equal to a man . I'm happy playing the little woman who knows her place'

That almost makes me want to vomit. Mrs Rigsby is that really how you see yourself?

Of course there's an extreme end of feminism. There's an extreme end (two extreme ends, actually) of everything that sits on a spectrum.

I'm a feminist, and so is my auntie. She and her friends maintain that Margaret Thatcher is not a woman. This is because Thatcher let them down, as feminists. I think that's pretty extreme and laugh at them when they say it.

So many feminists not only hate men (often with good reason - they may be rape survivors for instance), but they also hate women!

You can't describe the middle ground of something and then use that description to prove there is no extreme. Not at the same time as blattering on about logical fallacies, you can't.

letthereberock I was being a little tongue in cheek.

That said, I'm at my happiest at home. Cleaning, cooking and looking after our son. I don't want to go back to work.

My husband controls the finances and the house we live in is in his name and it bothers me not one bit.

I'm very happy to say I'm an anti-feminist .

lindsaygii I would have thought the feminists would have been jumping for joy with a female prime minister .

Whatever you think dittany .

WRT to Valerie Solanos, you need to read the SCUM manifesto to believe it. SCUM stands for Society for the Cutting Up of Men, and is not a satire, unfortunately.

There are people who agree with her views, thankfully a minority.

"There are no criminals, bombers or murderers as you find in other kinds of political movements."

Actually Valerie Solanos shot Andy Warhol due to views which she categorised as feminist.

No political or religious movement wants to affiliate itself with the extremes, I understand that Dittany, but it doesn't make them not exist.

For me personally, VS was not a feminist, she was a woman with a lot of problems. But, and this is the problem, she believed that what she was doing was in the name of feminism. Same as with all extremists, they do not represent the cause they believe they do. This however doesn't mean that they are not at the extreme end of said cause.

Just to explain, I am a feminist and hate to be associated with nutters like VS, so understand your frustration, but ignporing them doesn't make them go away. We are better off saying, yes, they exist, but "such and such" is why we do not agree with them.

I've got a really good book to recommend that covers the different views that have split feminism off into different groups/ideals, unfortunately it's currently packed into a box ready for a move, but if I remember I'll tell you the name once I unpack it again.

I remembered it, it's actually about Burlesque, but it's Burlesque in relation to feminism. And is called "The Happy Stripper". It's a very interesting read.