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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not give the child a biscuit

292 replies

Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 10/12/2009 14:07

Went to Tesco's this morning to do the grocery shop before hopping on the bus home.

Got a bit peckish so opened a new packet of chocolate bourbons and started reading my book before I noticed a 3-4 year old kicking off shouting he wanted a biscuit.

Cue the mum of said child turning to the child and saying "Would you like a biscuit?", child obviously says yes and the mum turned to me.

I carried on reading my book and the mum attracted my attention and asked for a bisucit for the still tantruming child.

I refused to give the child a biscuit - cue the child tantruming until he got off the bus 10 minutes later and lots of looks from the mum.

So should I have given the child a biscuit - I wouldn't have expected anyone to give dc (2.2) a biscuit and would have soon told him to stop tantruming and causing a nuisance on the bus.

OP posts:
pagwatch · 10/12/2009 14:26

at SN defence = top trump

MrsBadger · 10/12/2009 14:26

it's all in the manner

if she'd leant over and said eg 'I'm terribly sorry - I promised him a biscuit when we were waiting for the bus but a seagull swooped down and snatched it out of my hand / we were mugged for them / the bus was so late we haven't had lunch yet etc - would you mind awfully giving me one of yours for him?' I would be more sympathetic

pagwatch · 10/12/2009 14:26

God bless us everyone.

SCargot · 10/12/2009 14:26

TOP TRUMPERRRONY
i have been on this site for a LONG TIME oh yes siree and i WIN

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/12/2009 14:26

Yes she probably had a disorder which means she has boundary issues.

I would have eaten the biscuit a la Flake advert from mid 80s, all the while eyeballing the child.

I would prob have given a biscuit to shut the little sod up. Anything for a bit pf peace.

YANBU though.

paisleyleaf · 10/12/2009 14:27

Wow. Not many people would be able to refuse to give a biscuit. Not sure I could.
yanbu.
(I'd like to see her thread)

SCargot · 10/12/2009 14:27

she had sensory issue to do with bourbon biscuits

pigletmania · 10/12/2009 14:27

I probably would have given the mum a biscuit but not my dd if she was tantruming no way! That behaviour does not get rewarded.

SixtyFootDoll · 10/12/2009 14:28

Thwe MUM was BU to ask you
But if it had been me I would have given a biscuit to shut the little brat up so that I could read my book in peace

Blu · 10/12/2009 14:28

Rather bizarre behaviour of the Mum, but what mean-minded pursed lips you all have.

I would probably have offered a biscuit the minute the child was hankering.

A little kindness, generosity and sharing is as important as good manners, imo.

ChickensHaveNoTinsel · 10/12/2009 14:29

Oh, ok then. I'd have offered the biscuit. But I would have licked it first....

traceybath · 10/12/2009 14:30

I'd have given the biscuit to child but I would so have judged.

Blu · 10/12/2009 14:30

And LOL at this thread - isn't it usually 'old bags' who get a MN mouthful when they go all cat's bum about 'your' tantrumming childrenand give you a look?

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 10/12/2009 14:30

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gBiB5hl2vo

pagwatch · 10/12/2009 14:31

I would have offered a biscuit but given it a great big all over lick first.

Or

I would not have offered a biscuit as the child may have gluten intolerance and that would be potentially damaging to his gut lining. I can't believe that so many on here are casual about good gut health.

HA !

( consider your trumps topped)

deaddei · 10/12/2009 14:31

Love the Cadbury's flake idea- I too would have siad no. They are your bourbons, and I would not reward bad behaviour.
[OLD FOGEY "NOT IN MY DAY" EMOTICON]

LastTrainToNowhere · 10/12/2009 14:31

Well, if the mum had explained to the boy that he can't have one, he can't ask a stranger, he can have one at home etc etc etc....THEN I would have offered him a biscuit off my own bat. But since she assumed that you would of course give him your biscuit, then YANBU! Very presumptuous of her.

Took dd to the park last summer, having promised her an ice cream. Unfortunately the ice cream van had just left when we arrived. DD started sobbing, and a woman seated nearby having a picnic came over and gave her an ice lolly out of her cooler bag. That was very sweet. But I would never have just said "Oh dd, there's a nice lady with what looks like lollies in her bag. Let's ask her if she'll share"

traceybath · 10/12/2009 14:31

Mind you - I'd have judged you for eating a packet of biscuits on the bus too.

Golly I'm judgey today - lack of sleep and illness.

pagwatch · 10/12/2009 14:31

at x-posted licking with chicken

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/12/2009 14:32

if the mum had asked you before asking child if he wanted a biscuit then things were different

a 3/4yr shouldnt be stropping+then getting a treat

the mum should have their own treats

Poledra · 10/12/2009 14:33

I'd've judged you for eating Bourbons - yeuch!

pagwatch · 10/12/2009 14:34
Biscuit
GetOrfMoiLand · 10/12/2009 14:34

Ha! Pagwatch.

yes, would not have offered a bourbon biscuit. Would have offered a nice piece of freshly peeled satsuma as the little ones need all their fruit or vitamins.

Or HAA trump the lof of ya - the bourbon biscuits are probably made in a factory where nuts are present, latest guidelines state that peanuts are not to be consumed by the under 5s because of possibly previously undiagnosed severe nut allergy causing anyphalaxis.

SO by not offering a biscuits I HAVE SAVED A CHILD'S LIFE.

ThumbleBells · 10/12/2009 14:34

mind you, she probably thought YWBU to even open the biscuits in view of her brat precious darling .

BackUpYourPhotosNow · 10/12/2009 14:34

LOL! Sorry but I would NOT give someones kid a biscuit in that situation! I would have told the mother that its against my religion to reward tantrums and if she wants to give her kid a biscuit she should try buying some!!!

What a cheeky cow!!!!