in thinking that if you get invited to someones house and they are providing food, that you should just be grateful and not fuss about it ??

[MrsMorgan]

I am honestly not sure wether iabu or not.

Basically we are having a small halloween party next week, just me, the dc and my siblings and their partners.

One of my brothers gf's has recently lost weight through a leading weightloss group and is now a leader for one of those groups.

I am doing buffet food, nothing really cheap and nasty, just sandwiches, salad, quiches, etc. I am a single mum and I am funding all of this on my own, with my mum throwing in a few bits and bobs.

My brother has just emailed saying that his gf is bugging him about what food will be available. I can only assume that this is because of her diet, because previously she had no food issues. She already knew it was a buffet.

I am really annoyed that she is doing this. I am have sorted the whole thing on my own, food, decorations and games and tbh think that it is rude for her to question what will be available.

Last week they asked if her sister and her baby could come to the party and despite not knowing them I agreed as it makes no difference to me, but now I feel like I am being taken for a ride a bit.

AIBU ??

Good eating habits can include the odd bit of quiche.

I do think it's rather odd for a guest to ask what's being served. Surely she could find something to eat?

That said I would try to cater to my guests likes and dislikes and dietary restrictions as much as possible.There are limits. But I'd ask them about that.

She could always eat before and nibble at the salads if she's concerned that there won't be much for her there.

H2 I agree. If I was the brother's girlfriend I'd be running for the hills....

Judging form the reaction you'd think she'd insisted that you only serve lettuce leaves and grated carrot washed down with tap water.

What the hell is wrong with quiche and sandwiches ??

This is a halloween party fgs, for kids and adults, not a dinner party.

I haven't, and wouldn't ask her to bring her own food, especially as imo there is no need. Yes there are sandwiches and quiche on the menu but there is also other things, cold pasta/rice dishes, salad, dips etc.

I could understand if I was planning on serving up pizza and chips.

And please don't presume to know what i'd think if the gf came and didn't eat a thing. I wouldn't think anything, other than that she weren't hungry.

you loathe her, don't you?

Actually I do really like her alot, I just think that given my circumstances, and the fact that I am organising/paying for it all, then it is a bit rude.

He he!
I think it's a bit unneccesary of her to ask, I'm on weight watchers and we've been to a friend's house for dinner this weekend. I anticipated a bit of a big night, so ate a bit less on the days leading up to it and we cycled there and back (that was interesting..) This was a sit down meal, so harder to refuse the unhealthy options, although I just had what I fancied and have taken it easy on the food and wine for the next two days to make up for it.

At a buffet, you wouldn't offend anyone by refusing the unhealthy stuff so she just needs to take a bit of responsibility for her own eating I reckon.

If you liked her, you would put her needs ahead of your own.

And quiche/sandwiches are for picnics and funerals.

I would be disappointed if I went to a party and was served sanwiches.

Quiches and sandwiches are for picnics and funerals? Nonsense. Almost every party I've been too has had sandwiches if there was a buffet.

She doesn't know what you are planning to serve, pizza and chips or pickled oysters, that's why she asked bf to ask you.

Ouch! What's wrong with sandwiches and quiche?

I wouldn't be upset if someone asked. In her case she is probs very very nervous about putting the weight on again so just wants to check what type of food will be there.

I don't think the guest is BU, just careful.

To not too sorry.

And quiche was often to be found there too amongst a host of other goodies.

So what do you fussy lot people expect at a party?

Let's say you were going out on a date with your DH. Subway wouldn't be the first choice place to go, would it?

When you go out, you want something just a tad exotic, even if it is just chilli or curry.

It's a fecking family party not dinner for two at The Fat Duck.

YANBU - it's rude to ask.

And can chili or curry really be considered to be exotic now?

What would I expect at a party?
That if I asked a question before hand, I'd have a polite grown-up response, if I felt I needed to bring my own food I could and that my company would be more important than huffing about any little quirks I might have.
ummm tolerance I suppose, and a bit of flexibility.

With the appropriate fixins, they can be. I only said a 'tad' exotic.

I'm talking about the food Goblin not the call because people are complaining about sandwiches and quiche.

Remind me not to invite you miserable lot if I have a party if all you'll do is whinge about the bloody sandwiches.
The OP is serving more than sandwiches and quiches btw.

Lol at sandwiches/quiche being for picnics & funerals!

Better break the news to DD that she's got funeral food for tea tonight!

I already said further down that I have done buffet food here before and she came then so she would have had some idea of what i'd do this time.

If I were going out to a party at someone's house, where there would be children and party games etc then I would expect almost exactly what I am going to be providing.

Buffet with veggie options sounds great, plus bits that haven't been fiddled with, so if you had people who hated salad dressings and spices, they could still snack.

Don't feel the need to worry about whether it's a small party c/o Tescos, or an 18 course hand-made banquet with staff.
Parties are always about interesting company for me. I'd rather have a baked potato with good conversation than gourmet cuisine and tedious chatter.

Perhaps if it was a camel's bum curry which had been marinated in the fruit of the um bongo tree I'd consider it to be exotic,otherwise no.