in thinking that if you get invited to someones house and they are providing food, that you should just be grateful and not fuss about it ??

[MrsMorgan]

I am honestly not sure wether iabu or not.

Basically we are having a small halloween party next week, just me, the dc and my siblings and their partners.

One of my brothers gf's has recently lost weight through a leading weightloss group and is now a leader for one of those groups.

I am doing buffet food, nothing really cheap and nasty, just sandwiches, salad, quiches, etc. I am a single mum and I am funding all of this on my own, with my mum throwing in a few bits and bobs.

My brother has just emailed saying that his gf is bugging him about what food will be available. I can only assume that this is because of her diet, because previously she had no food issues. She already knew it was a buffet.

I am really annoyed that she is doing this. I am have sorted the whole thing on my own, food, decorations and games and tbh think that it is rude for her to question what will be available.

Last week they asked if her sister and her baby could come to the party and despite not knowing them I agreed as it makes no difference to me, but now I feel like I am being taken for a ride a bit.

AIBU ??

Your guests are being bloody rude asking in advance about the food which you are paying for.

If someone consumes macrobiotic or similarly odd stuff they should make sure to eat before or after.

I'm a lifelong veggie and when visiting the ILs often have to deal with total BBQ or bacon sandwich meals. I just go hungry, it doesn't hurt that much, I'm a size 12, plenty fat to spare.

Screw the GF's requests. Honestly, you are right to feel taken advantage of and you should just do what you want.

Should perhaps also point out that she has been here before when I did a buffet and there was imo a wide range of food that even a dieter could eat.

Oh well, I will just carry on as I was, have too much to sort out to start faffing with the food now.

MrsMorgan - don't assume that she wants you to provide something suitable (presuming nothing that you're serving is suitable) - she may well just be asking so if it's stuff she can't eat she can bring some stuff of her own.

Actually - you could use this to YOUR advantage if nothing you're serving is "suitable"........ask her if she could bring a plate or two of stuff that she can eat (and everyone else can have some too - voila - extra food at no extra cost ).

And actually on the thread title - I'm not entirely certain on that one........if I went to a friends house and they served me up something such as steak and kidney something or other, or liver, I honestly wouldn't be able to eat it - the taste of any offal makes me heave (literally).

When I have friends over (not very often ) I always ask if there's anything they don't like, as well as allergies etc.

Just email back and let your db know that it is no problem at all if gf brings her own food and you will nto in the least be offended

Simple and easy as then she brings what she wants to eat and you dont have to fuss

But she's not asking you to change the food is she - just to know what sort of food it will be?

Can't believe how much some people are overreacting on this thread!

YANBU. Like Ashley I'm a veggie - depending on how well I know the host or in the case of a sit-down, no choice in menu meal I will mention this/remind them of it, as in, "I'd love to come but I'm afraid I'm a vegetarian and it will cause you difficulty". I'm always happy to eat just the veg/contribute food etc. If I don't think that this would be the right thing to say but I'd like to accept I will go and politely eat according to my veggie diet and/or politely decline meat.

IMHO to demand to know the menu of a lone mum on a budget when invited to a meal is plain rude, as is asking to bring along someone you don't know unless there is exceptionally good reason for doing so.

YOU are the host hun - do as YOU please.

But it is a buffet, and like I said, she has had a buffet at mine before and it wasn't all sausage rolls, pizza and cake.

If I was on a diet and went to a party doing a buffet, it woudn't even cross my mind that there might not be anything I could eat. It is a diet, not an allergy.

I can see what some of you mean but I just can't help feeling it is rude.

My brother has emailed again saying that they are going to make vodka jelly to bring along lol.

but then I grew up with my mum who entertained regularly (nothing posh - she just loved cooking and baking so would invite friends round all the time) and she always asked people if there was stuff they didn't like, and was never offended if someone got in their first and said there was something they didn't like. >>

IME there's nothing worse than having someone over and "feeding " them only for them to just sit and pick at the food you've carefully planned, paid for and prepared because it's something they genuinely don't like/can't eat.

you know - I can just imagine an AIBU from soneone that's just had a party

"AIBU to be upset that one of my guests didn't eat any of the food I'd prepared, if I'd have known I'd have told them to bring something they could eat if they wanted to" .

Oh goodness, she's just asking! She hasn't provided you with a list of demands. Diets are all encompassing and I can quite see why she wants to be sure what she will and won't be able to eat. Aren't party hosts supposed to arrange something that their guests will like, not just sling whatever they feel like on the table and say tough tits. Don't do the party if it's such a hassle.

It isn't hard as Val says. It's one meal. Sausage sandwiches were the last thing my ILs did for everyone. And sausages and bacon things and sausage rolls and salad

But they have still been very rude

Yanbu. Wouldn't dream of doing this to someone who was offering me hospitality in their home unless I had allergies or was veggie. And who the eff plans their meals a week in advance?

Oh and if I were on a diet I would consider that it was my responsibility and mine alone regarding food. Food in my home and food elsewhere.

"And who the eff plans their meals a week in advance?"

me

Shall be meal planning up until a week on Monday tomorrow afternoon

Ashley wtf is going on with your name?

I'll be round for the roast tomorrow

Oh AnyGhoulKno sorry, I changed it to AshleyCunt temporarily but liked it hence the Ninks.

YANBU

YANBU

I have recently embarked on a diet and am totally food obsessed with what I can and can't eat BUT it is my problem and nobody else's.

I have to eat out and at other people's houses and if they don't happen to be offering the low-cal stuff I would prefer then I just pick the best options and maybe eat less. It is not rocket science and doesn't have to be a major issue.

FFS she can't spend the rest of her life predicting what food she will be offered wherever she goes so she needs to get realistic and sensible ASAP.

I think you're overeacting tbh - she hasn't asked you to accommodate her, just give her the heads up on what you are providing so that she can presumably make a decision on whether to eat before/bring something particular.

Whilst I think it is rude to complain/be ungrateful for what you are given as a guest I also think it very strange (and a bit rude)not to try and accomodate all your guests as best they can, thereby ensuring everyone has a great time.

YANBU I am on a diet at the moment if I was going to a party like this I would just avoid foods I knew I couldnt have or eat less of them.

YANBU I'd be put out too. Agree let her know what you're providing and if she can't eat it tell her she needs to bring her own. As for inviting her sister and baby I'll have said no as you don't know them so why would you want them at your do. Also I'd let your db deal with his gf and sis if they go off into a huff.

YANBU

she sounds rude!

hope you enjoy your party despite her

Some buffets have high fat and salt snacks so I think enquiring is reasonable if a bit OOT as she may choose to eat before she comes in that case. That's easier than eating afterwards if you're on a diet. If she asked you to do special stuff because of her diet that would be inappropriate.