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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you invite someone over for a 'sleepover' you give them a mattress, some cushions or a lilo to sleep on?

142 replies

whippet · 22/10/2009 20:37

And not just show them the floor

DS was invited to a friend's house for a sleepover last night. Came back today grumpy and tearful, and it turns out he and the other boy who'd been invited were both told they could put their sleeping bags on the floor of the invitee's bedroom to sleep.
(Child whose house it was slept in his own bed)

He says he was cold, and the floor was hard, and he didn't sleep at all .

He's 9, and not new to sleepovers. But if we have his friends over I aways make sure they have either a futon mattress, a lilo, or at worst, the sofa cushions to sleep on.
I assumed this was the norm?

I'm a bit annoyed that the mum didn't even mention it - I could have easily given him a lilo to take!

OP posts:
Heated · 22/10/2009 22:19

As a teenager a sleepover meant taking your own sleeping bag and bunking down on the living room floor. Admit the novelty quickly wore off as it was always a crap night's sleep. But the host would also bunk down too.

paisleyleaf · 22/10/2009 22:19

I can remember plenty of sleepovers where we slept on the floor
But funnily enough, it wouldn't occur to be to sleep a child on our floor

Hulababy · 22/10/2009 22:21

By Georgimama on Thu 22-Oct-09 22:17:10 I don't sleep at other people's houses - why on earth would I?

Why? I stay at family and friends houses a few times each year. Those who live further afield. I dont want to do 2-3 hours drive each way in one day. If we fancy enjoying a drink at parents house who live an hour away so taxi isn't an option; if DH is away and I stay at a friends for a girl's night in, etc.

piscesmoon · 22/10/2009 22:22

I have slept on the floor-or I should say, tried to sleep on the floor-I'm not surprised that he was grumpy! I would always make sure they had a lilo or something. If when they are older they make the choice not to bother, that would be diferent.

Hulababy · 22/10/2009 22:23

And yes, as said before, I have been camping. I take either a camping mat or a blow up bed. I never sleep on the floor alpone. Why would I? It is uncomfortable!

Georgimama · 22/10/2009 22:24

You all seem to be deliberately missing the point that the point of a "sleepover" is not to actually sleep - it's a bunch of children mucking about until about 1am when the host parents get narky and come downstairs and tell them to be quiet. Horror movies are usually involved. A little different from a weekend at relations when one is over the age of 21.

Original poster
whippet · 22/10/2009 22:25

Georgimama - wouldn't dream of letting my child anywhere near YOU thanks - you sound delightful

Can't see that I need to justify myself, but if you'd bothered to read the thread you'd have seen that DS has actually been to lots of sleepovers without any problems. Just this particular one left him quite upset, hence the AIBU question.

Anyway, I can see that I'm not, and clearly I need to prescreen future hosts for people like Georgimama likely attitudes to treating children like a) human beings, or b) dogs

Thanks for the useful answers.

OP posts:
Clayhead · 22/10/2009 22:25

I'm with Hula.

Inghouls2 · 22/10/2009 22:25

This happened to my son recently and I was gobsmacked! Never in a million years would I let any guest in my house camp down on the floor and
as for the manners, ...we'll all have a nice comfy bed, but you can sleep on the floor despite being our guest.... is just bloody rude!

Georgimama · 22/10/2009 22:27

Goodness me you are a very angry person. You need to justify yourself, frankly, because you started the thread and asked if you were being unreasonable. Unsurprisingly, like 99% of OPs on AIBU, you got pissy when someone said you were. Why you feel the need to make personal attacks on me, I have no idea.

I assure you, your darling child is unlikely to be invited to a sleepover here. Different age group. Two year olds are quite tough.

Hulababy · 22/10/2009 22:29

At 9y old I doubt horror movies are part of the deal, or at least I would hope not!

And as a aprent I def inervene way before 1am. Infact in all our sleepovers the girls have been asleep way bfore midnight despite insisting on a midbight feast. DD went on one big sleepover with several friends and even then midnight was the latest they stayed up.

Georgimama · 22/10/2009 22:32

Perhaps 9 year olds shouldn't have sleep overs then.

squilly · 22/10/2009 22:40

I provided beds of varying descriptions for my girl and her two guests at the last 2 sleepovers and the little madams decided to sleep on the floor regardless.

I don't think you abu at all. I'd expect a bed of some kind to be offered. If the little buggers then decide they'd rather sleep on the floor, that's their spinal damage decision!

squilly · 22/10/2009 22:41

(Spinal damage should have scored through...darn it, what have I done wrong now???)

Georgimama · 22/10/2009 22:47

(needs to be around both words separately like this)

squilly · 22/10/2009 22:51

I'm clearly a moron beginner

Thank you.

squilly · 22/10/2009 22:53

I meant to put the dashes by the beginner and put some other, far more clever, word in too, but my creativity is begging me to take it to bed. And that's the best offer I've had in months

Training appreciated Georgimama. Hope you don't charge for the tuition

Emprexia · 22/10/2009 22:54

good grief, its a sleep over you're supposed to sleep on the floor!

I never had a camp bed or anything when i went to sleepovers as a child.

Last time DH & I had people here it was a friends band.. we had the 4 band members, the merchadise man, the roadie and a girlfriend here, lol.

We had two in each spare room, one on the couch one on the floor and one bless him.. chose to sleep on the concrete kitchen floor because the guy on the couch snored!

Plonker · 22/10/2009 22:59

Am I the only one who is finding the outrage on this thread a little amusing?

No, I wouldn't expect my dd's guests to sleep on the floor, when dd had a sleepover I put a double blow up mattress of the floor and they all fought over that rather than the beds, however, I wouldn't consider it neglect or bad manners if my dd had been offered the floor and a sleeping bag at someone elses house ...and I certainly wouldn't be as outraged as some of the posters on this thread are!

So I guess I think YANBU but as for all the "poor chap"'s that are on this thread - really??? Is it that big a deal?

saintmaybe · 22/10/2009 23:06

No way would I put them on the floor

None of my kids have ever been put on the floor for a sleepover (have been many) either

never heard of such a thing

choosyfloosy · 22/10/2009 23:15

It wouldn't have occurred to me that children wouldn't be able to sleep on the floor, but I wouldn't offer them a floor space either. If I didn't have so much as a sofa cushion to offer I would top and tail them if they were OK with that.

Teenagers sleep practically anywhere because a) they are teenagers and b) intoxicating depressants have been taken.

Having said that, i would rather expect your ds to be a bit less Little Match Girl about it and would be fairly brisk, suggesting that he has a tongue in his head and could have asked for some cushions.

mumeeee · 22/10/2009 23:16

When my DDs wee younger they often slept on the floor at sleepovers and their friends would sleep on the floor here or I'd give them a duvet to put down. Children don't usually sleep much at slepp overs anyway. My nephew says they should be caled wake overs.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 22/10/2009 23:20

YABU, if your son wanted a full 8 hours' sleep in home comforts he should have stayed at home. I hope at least he got some breakfast both you and he approved of, not moaning about that as well (as you said he did about food offerings on another thread).

DS has been on a few sleepovers. It never crossed my mind to cross-examine parents in advance on sleeping arranegments.

Plonker · 22/10/2009 23:21

Choosyfloosy - I agree

macdoodle · 22/10/2009 23:31

Whippet I was with you until you have been soooo ungracious about the alternative views - its AIBU FFS!
And the bit about the padding - so if it was a slightly tubbier/well padded child (like my DD1 who is by no means fat just a bit "padded") - that would have been ok then??
Its just your tall skinny bony boy that cant sleep on the floor??

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