To think that if you invite someone over for a 'sleepover' you give them a mattress, some cushions or a lilo to sleep on?

[whippet]

And not just show them the floor

DS was invited to a friend's house for a sleepover last night. Came back today grumpy and tearful, and it turns out he and the other boy who'd been invited were both told they could put their sleeping bags on the floor of the invitee's bedroom to sleep.
(Child whose house it was slept in his own bed)

He says he was cold, and the floor was hard, and he didn't sleep at all .

He's 9, and not new to sleepovers. But if we have his friends over I aways make sure they have either a futon mattress, a lilo, or at worst, the sofa cushions to sleep on.
I assumed this was the norm?

I'm a bit annoyed that the mum didn't even mention it - I could have easily given him a lilo to take!

[halia]

"I see you your DD on the floor and raise you my DS, who sometimes sleeps inside his bed, like a vampire in a coffin. (It's one of those with a storage compartment with sliding doors.)

It's unnerving to come into his room and think he has been taken by aliens, call his name in a panic, to hear a muffled "I'm in 'ere!" coming from within."

god that brings back memories, me and little brother used to do this but we had cabin beds that had 'hidden' space behind the desk and chest of drawers section that you could get to by pulling out the desk top - sent my mum barmy trying to figure out where we were.

I slept on the floor many a time as a kid and an adult but... i would kind of expect nowadays for a sleepover invite to include a "we've only got a blow up, or they're all bunking down on the floor" warning.

I wouldn't expect DS friend to sleep on the floor while DS had the bed either. Even a folded duvet or spare pillows would do in a pinch.

[miki43]

or they forget to use them pmsl

[alypaly]

they dont take changes of clothes with them either,or a toothbrush

[Rebeccadiamond]

When I had sleepovers it was always a sleeping bag on carpet. Blimey, get a grip.

[TheFallenMadonna]

My DC would quite happily sleep on the floor. DH built DS's bed to open out into a double for guests so we use that for sleepovers. I think if you want them to have an airbed you would be better off offering your own, which would give hosting mum a heads up.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

If I invite children over then I go all out and buy a new mattress and bed from Heal's (nowhere near Liberty's, sorry), get the thermostat at the exact temperature their mother requires (given that the kids don't generally give a shit), give them a healthy, nutritious breakfast that won't have me all over the messageboards next morning and just ensure their mums just want me to be their friend because I'll be exactly their kind of person, as Whippet so open-mindedly put it. Oh, hang on, it's not my sleepover and not my fun.

[gingerkirsty]

YANBU - I would make sure I had a spare bed/ air bed/ sofa and bedding for anyone who stayed at my place, regardless of their age.

Maybe I'm a bit soft but I would extend the same courtesy to kids as I would to adults...

If I didn't have enough bedding, I would either buy some, or at least ask them to bring their own - I can't see any reason she wouldn't at least have done that!

[KatieScarlett2833]

During the last two weeks we have hosted about 5 sleepovers (school hols here).

Despite having a spare bedroom and large kids rooms (carpeted!)EVERY time the kids have decided to sleep (stay up all night)in the living room on a a hard wooden floor.

We have blow up beds, spare beds, double beds, camping mats, spare mattreses, etc and all they wanted were sleeping bags.

And as for expecting them to come back refreshed by the experience.........

[curiositykilled]

lol @ Fennel.

[Fennel]

My 9yo also likes to sleep inside her (small) cupboard, or in a cardboard box, and the 5yo copies her.

but we don't expect visitors to sleep in the cardboard boxes. that's strictly for family.

[Fennel]

Maybe the parents didnt' think of it. My dds all sleep on hard floors for choice a lot of the time, beds are wasted on them, they often sleep next to their beds rather than on them, and it might not occur to me that other children weren't like this.

also with sleepovers I don't do much, the dds and their friends arrange it, and I have little to do with where they're sleeping. maybe the other parents are just more hands-off and assume the child will ask if it needs something?

[miki43]

well apart from the times i have politely moved my eldest daughter out of her room so that the sleepovers can use her bunk bed, there have also been times the boys have insisted on making a bunch of beds on the floor - so out come the big duvets and sleeping bags. Told my son that he should give up his bed for guest in these instances as well only to have them fighting over who was going to sleep on the floor because they all wanted to do it??????

Then there was the time I got them all settled for the night, came up about 2 in the morning and found them all sprawled out on the floor with covers and pillows?

My youngest and one of her friends insisted on topping and tailing? Thought well ok can always move you later if things get uncomfortable. Checked up on them at various times and they were fast asleep.

TBH if one of my children came back from a sleep over saying they were cold etc then i would make sure they had what they needed if there was a next time.

yes we do have carpeting upstairs and the pipes run quite close to the floor boards so the floor is mostly warm anyway but Having been brought up to muck in I dont think it honestly does them any harm once in a while.

My biggest concern is making sure they are at a household where I trust them to keep my children safe and I take great pains to make sure that other parents know that their children are safe with me.

[curiositykilled]

lol, mine's done similar things rather often!

[BalloonSlayer]

lol, curiosity, my DD at that age once had her lunchtime nap at the foot of the stairs, still in her shoes and coat, where I'd left her as she was tantrumming so much.

[vvvodka]

i think the op is beng a bit precious. i admire her ds for being a polite guest. he has now understood that not everyone is the same, and not everyone has teh same idea of hospitality, and has learnt a valuable lesson. if it means one uncomfortable night, and one loss of activites for the day, then its cheap at the price.

[ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween]

I would never invite someone for a sleepover and expect them to sleep on the floor! I think that's appalling. I don't expect my child to sleep on the floor so I wouldn't make anyone else's do so.

Either say they'll need to bring a lilo or don't have a sleepover.

[curiositykilled]

lol. If my dd (3) is cross enough she'll go to sleep whilst tantruming on the kitchen tiles!

[BalloonSlayer]

"My DD chooses to sleep on the floor every night!"

MuGGGhoulwump, I see you your DD on the floor and raise you my DS, who sometimes sleeps inside his bed, like a vampire in a coffin. (It's one of those with a storage compartment with sliding doors.)

It's unnerving to come into his room and think he has been taken by aliens, call his name in a panic, to hear a muffled "I'm in 'ere!" coming from within.

[flashharriet]

Wouldn't kids be more comfortable on floors than adults because they're lighter? I know sleeping on the floor didn't bother me at all as a child (and was definitely the norm at sleepovers) but I would struggle to be comfortable now as a heifer grown up.

Chalk this one up to experience and get DS to take a foam mat to sleepovers in future but I don't think the other mum was U or cruel, just different!

[curiositykilled]

I think you're a bit precious. I don't remember ever having a sleepover as a child where the point was to get a good night's sleep and normally because of that there was something that went terribly wrong (in a child's mind) and made a huge drama! My dad called them wake-overs and used to make sure he was out of the house when any of us came back from one as we'd be tired, emotional and unreasonable all day.

My DS had a kind of half sleepover a few weeks ago (he's 4 and stayed with his friend to give me a bit of a break as I'm pregnant with twins) and the first thing that occurred to me was to ask if they wanted me to bring things for him to sleep on and find out where he'd be sleeping.

Surely, if you knew a sleeping bag was required then it's likely that a lilo or cushion or something might also be required too? He is 9, one night sleeping on the floor won't kill him! I used to sleep in my sister's wardrobe and she slept in my bottom draw quite often when we were little. We also slept in the understairs cupboard and other random places without mattresses cushions or lilos.

Sounds more like he just felt a bit overwhelmed by the sleepover TBH. I wouldn't pay much attention.

[MuGGGhoulWump]

My DD chooses to sleep on the floor every night!
She has a thin mattress but always ends up on the floor. She has a perfectly good bed, but doesn't want to sleep in it.

[alwayslookingforanswers]

I'm more shockced about the fact that they were actually sleeping (or trying to) for 8+ hours at a sleep over.

Never heard of a sleepover where they go to sleep at a reasonable time.

Floor wouldn't bother me at all (for my children - or indeed myself).

[bruffin]

YANBU - your boy should have got the bed (or maybe at least the offer of it).

read the OP there were two guests. Were all three of the expected to squeeze in to the same bed?

Agree with Pixel most children will sleep anywhere.

Even the quides/brownies who seem to mollycoddle the girls a little bit expected them to sleep in a sleeping bag on the hard floor (no carpet) for their sleepover. Blow up mattresses were specifically banned because they are a PITA.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I wouldn't put a kid to sleep on the bare floor, I wouldn't kip on the floor myself, so wouldn't expect a child to either.

DD's friends has either top and tailed (a bit of a squash admittedly) or, if she has had 2 or 3 friends round, blankets and spare duvet on the floor, and they all sleep on that with their sleeping bags or duvets brought from home. DD included in this - think would be rude to have dd snug in a bed with the guests on the floor.

Is easier now because dd has a double bed, so they top and tail in comfort.