To think that if you invite someone over for a 'sleepover' you give them a mattress, some cushions or a lilo to sleep on?

[whippet]

And not just show them the floor

DS was invited to a friend's house for a sleepover last night. Came back today grumpy and tearful, and it turns out he and the other boy who'd been invited were both told they could put their sleeping bags on the floor of the invitee's bedroom to sleep.
(Child whose house it was slept in his own bed)

He says he was cold, and the floor was hard, and he didn't sleep at all .

He's 9, and not new to sleepovers. But if we have his friends over I aways make sure they have either a futon mattress, a lilo, or at worst, the sofa cushions to sleep on.
I assumed this was the norm?

I'm a bit annoyed that the mum didn't even mention it - I could have easily given him a lilo to take!

[psychomum5]

the term 'sleepover' is actually a bit of a misnomer (sp?) IMVHO.........I have yet to host one where the children -

a) go to sleep
b) bed down where I make the beds up.

and with 5 children, I have hosted many sleepovers!

when mine go off, I also never expect them to come home refreshed and wanting to do stuff the following day.......they normally come home and go straight to bed whatever time it is.

sleepovers are for midnight feasts and giggling and pillow fights.

oh, and when they are 12, telling each other ghost stories, as I found out on DD1's 12th birthday, when I knocked on the door at midnight to tell them to calm down a bit, causing much hysteria and blockading of doors.........they had only told each other the candyman story and me knocking at midnight made them think it was true!!

one memorable sleepever none of them have yet forgotten

[sb6699]

If your DS was so uncomfortable why didn't he ask his pal to shove up so they could top and tail?

I wouldnt reckon it was a big deal to sleep on the floor with a sleeping bag. He is indoors so shouldnt be horrendously cold (like say if you were camping) and the sleeping bag does provide some degree (albeit a small one) of padding.

Psycho - I want to come to your DD's next sleepover!

[BoobBuffet]

My stupid sweet brother slept on his own bedroom floor for a year when we were kids, as he didn't want to cause a fuss when his bed broke!
Sleepovers aren't really for sleeping, they're for arsing around all night til you get into trouble.

[anonymous85]

I def would expect something to sleep on - a matress, blow up bed or even the cushions off the lounge

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

I'm surprised at how ok some people think this is. The floor is hard and uncomfortable, the poor lad lay there cold and awake for much of the night, that's miserable. I've had sleepovers as a child where things weren't right, not enough food, too cold, too noisy and as a child, not being able to sleep in a strange house is horrible.
Nobody would get given the floor to sleep on in my house unless there was absolutely no choice, and by that I mean 8 people get snowed in and there aren't enough cushions. When my friend and her kids stayed over the kids had the spare mattress and my friend had the sofa cushions. I assume these people had a sofa?

[tatt]

when our children were small we lived in a house with a lot of spare beds so the children could squash in except for birthdays where I would try to insist any child who seemed to have a cold slept in a bed. They often preferred to sleep on the floor. Those that didn't brought their own camping mat because their friends thought them softees if they had a bed. Sometimes mothers sent blow-up beds with no pump and we'd try to blow them up while cursing them for not sleeping in the beds.

At the moment we don't have lots of spare beds so teenagers get offered a reclining settee. If too many for that they have the floor and draw lots for settees. Some volunteer for the floor.

Agree that sleepovers are not about sleeping, they are about driving parents mad by talking to all hours.

YABU - if you aren't happy for your child to be on a floor you send a blow-up mattress - AND the pump!

[piscesmoon]

My teens take a sleeping bag and sleep on floors, but that is their choice. If I had a child around I would make sure they were comfortable.

[bruffin]

He obviously has never gone camping then

My DS always sleeps on the floor at his nan's and he prefers just to sleep on the floor.

[kittycatty]

When i was a kid we went camping with the school all we had was a tent and sleeping bag No blow up bed etc

Sleepovers are not for sleeping they are for fun (well for the kids not parents)

[smokinaces]

Oh god, in 5 years time when DS1 (3) is old enough for sleepovers I'm obviously going to be branded the worst mother in the world by his friends.

I went to hundreds of sleepovers as a child. From the age of 8 I probably stayed out 1 night a week. Always in a sleeping bag on the floor.

If I stay at my sisters I sleep on the floor.

We stayed with some friends a couple of new years ago - we all (DS1 included) slept on the floor.

If DS1 was upset when I was still married and couldnt take him into the bed, I used to sleep on the floor - even when 8m pregnant.

So, from that I would offer the floor to DS's friends if and when they come over. Sounds like they'll only come once though, so no worries there!

I cant believe so many people think a sleeping bag on the floor is unreasonable! Blow up beds? Spare mattresses? I dont have the room for this stuff anyway!

[PuppyMonkey]

YANBU - your boy should have got the bed (or maybe at least the offer of it). I have been to plenty of sleepovers and my DD has been to squillions and NEVER ONCE has she been forced to sleep on a hard floor. It is not "the norm" imho.

Just to put things into persepctive though, she never actually sleeps on a sleepover. That's a given. No matter how comfy the bed. So she would still be shattered the next day anyway.

[psychomum5]

sb6699............she is 15 now, the ghost stories are getting more vivid.....(and louder), still wanna come??

[Morloth]

As long as there is carpet, not a problem.

We are not up to sleepovers yet but all the ones I had and went to involved a sleeping bag on the floor. Usually in the lounge room after having eaten our body weights in lollies/chips/fizzy drinks and watched movies until 3am.

[Pixel]

" if there is nothing for them to sleep on then don't invite."

Well that's all of us without big houses scuppered then.
We don't have a spare room and dd's room is so small there isn't even room on the floor for an air bed (and that's after I've tidied up and rediscovered the carpet ). If skinny dd invites her equally skinny friend they top and tail in the bed but they are 13 now so getting to be a bit of a squeeze. As the bed is only 2'6" wide that isn't an option with her other more maturely built friend so dd has a sleeping bag and a foam bedroll on the floor. Friend has bad hip so has the bed.

Tbh they don't really care where they sleep as they are so exhausted from sitting up until gone 2am scoffing sweets and playing board games. And I don't think children feel the discomfort in the same way as adults actually. It would cripple me to sleep on dd's cheapo mattress (came with cabin bed I can feel every spring!) but dd finds it perfectly comfortable because she is much lighter. How often do you see children fall asleep in a weird position in a chair and then wake up unaffected? If we do the same thing we regret it because of stiff necks/shoulders etc.

[Pixel]

Also the most miserable/uncomfortable sleepover I ever went on as a child was when I was put in my friend's brother's room (he was away at scout camp) in a nice warm bed. I lay there all night feeling very lonely, listening to the unfamiliar sounds of the house and wondering if I dared creep out to the toilet. I'd have had much more fun on the floor in my friend's room.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I wouldn't put a kid to sleep on the bare floor, I wouldn't kip on the floor myself, so wouldn't expect a child to either.

DD's friends has either top and tailed (a bit of a squash admittedly) or, if she has had 2 or 3 friends round, blankets and spare duvet on the floor, and they all sleep on that with their sleeping bags or duvets brought from home. DD included in this - think would be rude to have dd snug in a bed with the guests on the floor.

Is easier now because dd has a double bed, so they top and tail in comfort.

[bruffin]

YANBU - your boy should have got the bed (or maybe at least the offer of it).

read the OP there were two guests. Were all three of the expected to squeeze in to the same bed?

Agree with Pixel most children will sleep anywhere.

Even the quides/brownies who seem to mollycoddle the girls a little bit expected them to sleep in a sleeping bag on the hard floor (no carpet) for their sleepover. Blow up mattresses were specifically banned because they are a PITA.

[alwayslookingforanswers]

I'm more shockced about the fact that they were actually sleeping (or trying to) for 8+ hours at a sleep over.

Never heard of a sleepover where they go to sleep at a reasonable time.

Floor wouldn't bother me at all (for my children - or indeed myself).

[MuGGGhoulWump]

My DD chooses to sleep on the floor every night!
She has a thin mattress but always ends up on the floor. She has a perfectly good bed, but doesn't want to sleep in it.

[curiositykilled]

I think you're a bit precious. I don't remember ever having a sleepover as a child where the point was to get a good night's sleep and normally because of that there was something that went terribly wrong (in a child's mind) and made a huge drama! My dad called them wake-overs and used to make sure he was out of the house when any of us came back from one as we'd be tired, emotional and unreasonable all day.

My DS had a kind of half sleepover a few weeks ago (he's 4 and stayed with his friend to give me a bit of a break as I'm pregnant with twins) and the first thing that occurred to me was to ask if they wanted me to bring things for him to sleep on and find out where he'd be sleeping.

Surely, if you knew a sleeping bag was required then it's likely that a lilo or cushion or something might also be required too? He is 9, one night sleeping on the floor won't kill him! I used to sleep in my sister's wardrobe and she slept in my bottom draw quite often when we were little. We also slept in the understairs cupboard and other random places without mattresses cushions or lilos.

Sounds more like he just felt a bit overwhelmed by the sleepover TBH. I wouldn't pay much attention.

[flashharriet]

Wouldn't kids be more comfortable on floors than adults because they're lighter? I know sleeping on the floor didn't bother me at all as a child (and was definitely the norm at sleepovers) but I would struggle to be comfortable now as a heifer grown up.

Chalk this one up to experience and get DS to take a foam mat to sleepovers in future but I don't think the other mum was U or cruel, just different!

[BalloonSlayer]

"My DD chooses to sleep on the floor every night!"

MuGGGhoulwump, I see you your DD on the floor and raise you my DS, who sometimes sleeps inside his bed, like a vampire in a coffin. (It's one of those with a storage compartment with sliding doors.)

It's unnerving to come into his room and think he has been taken by aliens, call his name in a panic, to hear a muffled "I'm in 'ere!" coming from within.

[curiositykilled]

lol. If my dd (3) is cross enough she'll go to sleep whilst tantruming on the kitchen tiles!