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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not like my friend's son urinating in public?

121 replies

Isitjustmeor · 19/10/2009 19:47

A close of friend of mine has a son who will be three in a few months. We often go out all together, usually to the park, to let our children run off some energy.
I know children get caught short (and grown-ups too, in alleyways behind BiteofFun's house) and have accidents, but I feel really awkward when my friend's son just pulls his trousers and pants down and urinates wherever he is. My friend doesn't say anything about it.
When it happened last week, a family who were also playing in the part looked horrified and hurried their children away and left.
Should I say something?

OP posts:
Tidey · 19/10/2009 19:49

Very awkward subject to mention, but I would feel the same. The odd occasion when miles from a loo is one thing, but going wherever he pleases is quite another.

eyetunes · 19/10/2009 19:50

wouldn't bother me in the least. He is 2 years old!

Drooper · 19/10/2009 19:51

Tricky, when a boy has to go...

I would be trying to steer him to some where a bit more private, even if it's only at the side of the park.

At that age he prob won't make it to a toilet in time, but I wouldn't want him to go right in the middle of the play area!

Twintummy · 19/10/2009 19:52

I don't like it. I make sure my twin boys go to the loo unless we are far away and in that case will let them wee discretly behind bush/tree etc.

I remember being in park when DD was quite small and a little boy pissed in the sandpit near where she was playing and she scoped the sand up and put it in her mouth! I felt ill (she was fine!).

facebookaddict · 19/10/2009 19:54

Isitjustmeor....I hope you are not my friend and offended by my boy as DS is 2.5 and loves peeing al fresco.
As he is only 3 months potty trained, I am more than happy to usher him to a quiet corner of the park if I can't get him to a toilet quick enough and figure this phase won't last. Perhaps I should be being more strict?!

facebookaddict · 19/10/2009 19:57

Oh....Twintummy, I certainly wouldn't allow that - I definitely try to make him go in proper toilets it's just that sometimes there isn't time and I'd rather reward the effort not to wee in his pants!

diddl · 19/10/2009 19:57

Well, she should be teaching him to be more discreet imo.

Girls learn that they can´t just drop pants and wee, so I don´t see why boys shouldn´t as well.

Drooper · 19/10/2009 19:59

facebookaddict- you absolutely don't need to be strict with your boy

He is only just learning and sounds like he is doing really well!

hobbgoblin · 19/10/2009 20:04

This has been 'discussed' before but it was about a child doing a poo instead. Comparisons were made to foxes and dogs and God knows what other crapping creatures.

I personally don't care about such things. It is rather a ball ache to rush off to find a toilet for LOs who don't give you much notice or pick covenient moments.

I think it all comes down to how much other stuff you have in your life to worry about. If you have few cares in the world you can probably spend time getting your knickers in a twist about knickers round ankles in public.

facebookaddict · 19/10/2009 20:05

Hobbgoblin - well said. thanks Drooper.

Sassybeast · 19/10/2009 20:08

YANBU - I personally think it's minging. At what age do you stop letting them pee and poo in public ? I've said it before and I'll say it again - there is NO need for any child to urinate or defeacate in public.

bloodredcherrymonster · 19/10/2009 20:14

how old is the child in question?

OrmIrian · 19/10/2009 20:18

"there is NO need for any child to urinate or defeacate in public. "

I think that may be overstating the point but I agree that it isn't something that should be encouraged. Emergencies only and discretely as possible.

facebookaddict · 19/10/2009 20:19

Sassybeast - It;s that or in the trousers at our park unfortunately which is massive and has lots of different areas which can happily waste a good 3-4hours in one visit but only one toilet which is not conveniently located for the kiddy area. I do ask lots when we are near the toilets but you can't force them until they need to go and when multitasking with 3mth old at same time, often just not enough time to get to proper toilet!

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 20:22

My friends ds (2.10 years) does this and when he was being potty trained my friend instead of bringing a potty with her, or encouraged her son to pull down his pants and wee where ever without trying to do it privatly or discreetly. I understand los get caught short but find somewhere private. Even if he gets caught short in my garden he was encouraged to pull down his pants and wee on the grass, dont think that its teaching him much bladder control. When i looked after him for a few hourse and he wanted to go in the garden i told him to wait and took him to the loo and he quite happily did it in the toilet, he was able to wait.

Morloth · 19/10/2009 20:28

What? Just where he was standing? In the middle of the playground? I would be pretty unimpressed.

We have had to stop for emergency wee's before both for DS and with a friend's DD, but you find some bushes/behind a tree, at the absolute very least you go off to the side.

That is pretty feral I think.

Tryharder · 19/10/2009 20:29

I cannot get worked up about a toddler weeing in public. So IMO, YABU. Life's too short...

Romanarama · 19/10/2009 20:29

my ds2 and ds3 would pee in their trousers if I didn't let them pee by a tree at the park. They go to the side though.

wonderingwondering · 19/10/2009 20:29

Children often wee in public, they just don't have the bladder control or are distracted by playing until it is too late. It is ludicrous to say there's no reason for a child, who may be barely out of nappies when they could pee/poo as they pleased, to have to 'go' in a public place.

I always carry a potty, and whip the child off to somewhere discrete if I can. But it is not always possible. I agree weeing up a swing is not necessary, but weeing up a tree next to the play area might be - esp if the parent has another child in tow. You just can't gather your children/bags/picnic blanket up in time. And I'm not inclined to, simply to avoid a 2 year old's wee in a bush.

Yes, I'd rather they were in a bathroom or at home, but that is just the way it has to be sometimes.

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 20:35

When potty training girls you teach them that they just cant drop their pants and do their business where ever they want so why not boys! Every Friday/Sat night you see men weeing anywhere they want even on a war memorial as they have not learned to control their bladders, they are probably taught from an early age that they can just drop and wee I was walking along a public path, and i saw a young man just standing on the path going for a wee there were mums going by with kids how disgusting could he not find somewhere private, there were bushes nearby

ChilloHippi · 19/10/2009 20:39

I think going somewhere descreet in the park (behind a bush or tree for example) is fine for a small child,but surely not just anywhere, especially in the middle of the play park.

facebookaddict · 19/10/2009 20:40

I've just realised the OP was about just dropping and going which is not what my DS does and yes I think that is a bit much.

Still think that toddler boys having to go in public (in bushes) is unavoidable in the early potty training phase and am interested to know how many of the offended posters have actually had to potty train boys. (it is physiologically and psychologically different I'm sure).

Tryharder · 19/10/2009 20:41

Are you serious, Pigletmania...?

cktwo · 19/10/2009 20:42

Why are people so hung up on this? These Lo's are 2! Not 22!

You let your dogs wee all over the park, so why not potty-training children? We don't find dog's genitals disgusting but apparently people are horrified at the sight of a 2 year old boy's willy.

Get a life. There are people dying in this world, worry about them, not wee.

TheMysticMasseuse · 19/10/2009 20:42

YABU. often there is a (decent) public toilet in sight and what are they supposed to do? i let my dd wee behind a tree or in between cars. once or twice she's done a poo, but i always pick it up [ok, vom emotion].

personally i find portable potties just weird and a needless faff

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