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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not like my friend's son urinating in public?

121 replies

Isitjustmeor · 19/10/2009 19:47

A close of friend of mine has a son who will be three in a few months. We often go out all together, usually to the park, to let our children run off some energy.
I know children get caught short (and grown-ups too, in alleyways behind BiteofFun's house) and have accidents, but I feel really awkward when my friend's son just pulls his trousers and pants down and urinates wherever he is. My friend doesn't say anything about it.
When it happened last week, a family who were also playing in the part looked horrified and hurried their children away and left.
Should I say something?

OP posts:
ChilloHippi · 19/10/2009 20:43

ck, no-one has said they are horrified by the sight of a willy, merely the presence of wee in a playground.

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 20:43

Yes totally behind a bush or tree not just drop and wee whereever

Hando · 19/10/2009 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 20:45

yes i am he was quite obvious dont know if he had been drinking, this was in broad daylight

cktwo · 19/10/2009 20:46

Wee/willy. When they're two, one goes with the other. But yes, sorry, if it's behind a tree then no-one will see a willy.

TheMysticMasseuse · 19/10/2009 20:47

those bloody foreigners eh Hando

cktwo · 19/10/2009 20:48

Maybe the Daily Mail should start a campaign to get it banned

MillyR · 19/10/2009 20:49

If you are old enough to have sex or some kind of sexual arousal then you shouldn't get your genitals out in public. If you are going to wee outdoors then you should do it behind some kind of barrier (tree, wall, cover of darkness).

If you are not old enough to have sexual feelings, you can wee in the same places that it would be acceptable for a dog to wee. So grass is okay but sandpit not.

colditz · 19/10/2009 20:50

it depends on whether you include "in public" to mean "In their pants" - as many children, if not allowed to drop their pants and urinate immediately will simply lose control and do so without dropping their pants.

This is because bladder urgency varies throughout individual children. They are not naughty or badly parented. they have irritable bladder contol mechanisms,

JavierBardem · 19/10/2009 20:54

Hando, I totally agree with you, bloody pissy foreigners send them home! Disgusting. Heil Hitler!

spookyrookie · 19/10/2009 20:54

I do think its important that even from a young age they are encouraged to find somewhere private to wee where possible.

On Saturday we were out,DS needed a pee as he hasn't figured out that it is a good idea to use the toilet after lunch. We were a good 10 minute walk from the loos so I ushered him behind a tree where no one could see. I think that is acceptable.

However a few months ago he needed to go, the toilets were about a two minute walk and there was nowhere private to pee so we carried him to the toilets and just about got there in time.

There is a balance to be struck between recognising that young children can't control their bladders terribly well and accepting that not everyone wants to see or come into contact with your DCs urine.

When I was at Uni in Belgium for a year there were never any toilets in the pubs, blokes would routinely piss in the gutters, on the way home, the place would stink in the mornings, particularly if it had been a cold night and it had frozen.

unfitmother · 19/10/2009 20:55

He's 2 FFS!

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 20:56

I have a dd 2.8 years who i have just put in knickers but she not able to tell me if she is going for a wee or poo just does it like a baby would , so i am dreading going out in public when she is potty trained what we would do as its not really easy with girls and like toddler boys their bladder control not all that great so would not be able to reach the nearest loos

onepieceoflollipop · 19/10/2009 20:57

No toilets in the pub

It's bad enough in this country where there are toilets in the pubs...doesn't stop many men and some women (of all nationalities ime) urinating in public places after a night out.

Morloth · 19/10/2009 20:57

2 isn't too young to be told that weeing wherever you happen to be isn't appropriate. Accidents will happen, but if you don't say anything how will they know they need to stop doing it?

TheMysticMasseuse · 19/10/2009 20:58

spookyrookie, when you were in belgium? i take it you haven't taken a walk in any UK high street after 9pm on a friday or saturday night recently. it's a pissfest (and worse) out there.

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 21:00

there was a picture in the papers recently of a male student peeing on a war memorial thats just disgusting.

edam · 19/10/2009 21:00

Gosh, the only thing that got ds interested in potty training was seeing his friend doing a 'garden wee'. (In the friend's own garden, before anyone takes offence.)

Small boy or girl weeing behind bushes absolutely fine as far as I'm concerned. In the middle of a sandpit, no, not nice.

We had to take ds behind the public loos once in a country park to do a poo. We'd walked for miles to find the darn loo only to discover the doors were locked. He was desperate and there was no way he could hold on while we got in the car and drove off to find a pub.

We dug a BIG hole to avoid offending anyone and made judicious use of leaves, but honestly, there will have been foxes and plenty of other animals pooing round there too, I couldn't get too worried about it.

colditz · 19/10/2009 21:00

It's piss> easy with girls.

You puul their stuff down to their ankles, and let them sit on your loops arms like a swing. Tilt them back so their head rests on your shoulder, and aim it straight down the gutter.

ChilloHippi · 19/10/2009 21:01

That's awful, piglet. Very disrespectful.

Morloth · 19/10/2009 21:03

LOL edam, DS does his morning wee in the garden because DH thinks morning rush hour is exactly the time to head to the bathroom with a newspaper.

DS doesn't even bother banging on the door anymore, just heads straight out the back.

pigletmania · 19/10/2009 21:04

thanks colditz sound complicated, we have a fire place with a fire guard i had sat my dd on the potty i turned my back and when i turned round she was stood in front of the guard peeing through the railings none on the carpet i was [shocked] and impressed might just be able to pull her pants down behind a bush lol

FourArms · 19/10/2009 21:06

DS2 decided to potty train about three weeks ago. He knows he needs a wee, but only gives me about 30 seconds notice at the moment. So I let him wee whereever he needs to (as discreetly as possible).

Pigletmania - can you carry a potty? I've been buying packs of value sanitary towels (28p for 20) and nappysacks for DS2 to wee on if he needs a wee before/after a car journey. You could put one in the potty to absorb the wee and then bin when convenient.

edam · 19/10/2009 21:06

Morloth, seems eminently sensible to me. As a short-term measure while you explain to dh that he either stops taking so long or builds an extension with a downstairs loo.

What is it with men taking newspapers into the loo, btw? What on earth are they doing in there that takes so long?

edam · 19/10/2009 21:07

on second thoughts, I probably don't want to know...