to consider reporting friend to SS?

[sillysalley]

I have a friend who's approach to parenting is just ... well ... worrying really.

Her and her husband have a crazy fascination with keeping the house like a show home and nothing else seems to be of importance other than that. I cant emphasise how much of a fascination it is, not just that they have a tidy house but things like
no baby gates allowed
children not allowed toys anywhere other than their bedroom
children not allowed to sit on the expensive leather sofa if they are wearing clothes with buckles and belts etc

Well i visited recently and their 2 year old is still not speaking (not even a single word, he makes very little noise)

Then she told me something that really worried me. Her 2 year old was really ill recently and she had to send for an ambulance because he could hardly breathe. She said
'I could hear him in his cot struggling to breathe, i was so panicked because it took me ages to get to him, trying to untie all the rope around his door handle to get into his room'

I presume the rope is to stop him going out of his bedroom in the night, as they wont have baby gates becuase they damage the walls.

Then she went on to say the hospital wanted her 2yo to stay in for the night but she refused and took him home.

I cant believe that HV or the hospital have not picked up on this, but I am truly worried. The thing is she isnt the kind of person you could approach about the issue. So all I can think of is an anonymous referal the SS.

Would that be unreasonable?

JYby you are talking up your profession as though there is some great mystique around child abuse.I think we all know what it is

Sounds like she might be on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Erratic and unreasonable behaviour to say the least. You should have a word with her. What's the worst that can happen? tell her that her attitude is abnormal and that she needs to rethink her attitude to her poor child. failing that, yes to SS. What a horrible life for that little boy.

i am exreemley at the responsees on this thread.

i cannot believe how many people think it is acceptable to lock a child in a room, whatever way it is done.

i work in a children's home and my God we would be sacked and reported for abuse if we locked a child in a room.

there is no excuse for locking a child in their bedroom.

am completely disgusted at the response on this thread tbh.

I've just read this thread and can't really believe the amount of people who think its ok to tie rope on a child's door handle.

And why are people comparing this to using a stairgate??!! You can easily jump over a stairgate and lift a child over it. Locking a child in a room by tying a rope round the handle is ridiculous - and am astounded that this is in a parenting book. It's so dangerous. Yes the OP's friend managed to get to her DS but he was choking and obviously needed immediate help, she should've been able to get to him a lot easier than spending ages untying a knot on his door .

If her concerns for her precious walls outweigh the need for a stairgate on her DS's door then she should be prepared to deal with him getting up during the night and put him back in his bed each time, not tie the door handle with rope. It's completely irresponsible parenting.

Just re-read part of my post about the OP's friend dealing with her DS each time he gets up. Thats assuming he doesnt wander round the house as obviously this is really dangerous. If her DS does this then she should get one of the pressure stairgates to save her precious walls.