Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry that my MIL started to wean my 2.5 month old on a chocolate doughnut?!

134 replies

thisxgirl · 11/10/2009 18:51

I imagine I'm not.

He was 3 weeks early so I don't plan to wean him until he is 5 months at least but, while holding him this evening, she reached over to grab one of my DP's chocolate iced doughnuts and encouraged my baby to lick the chocolate off!

DP went mad at her - his first food should be carrot or pear not artificial chocolate-flavoured icing - and she was saying to my baby, "oh daddy's mean, isn't it! You enjoyed that didn't you? I'll have to get you some chocolate buttons. It didn't do your daddy any harm!"

Yeah, great idea, wean a 10 weeks old baby on sugar

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/10/2009 18:52

YANBU, but it won't kill him either.

FABIsInTraining · 11/10/2009 18:53

It can't be good though olkn. What about allergies that develop when a child is given food far too early?

diddl · 11/10/2009 18:55

I´m not too sure that it matters what his first food is-as long as he´s old enough.

Which I don´t consider 2.5 months to be.

I´m trying not to MIL bash here, but sometimes it´s frightening the basic things that some seem to have forgotten.

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 11/10/2009 18:56

YANBU but one lick won't do any damage, I wouldn't think.

I'd make sure she wasn't left on her own with baby if she's planning on shovelling chocolate buttons down your 10 weeks throat though.

mumandlovingit · 11/10/2009 18:56

YANBU

my mil was like this too until we had a go and took the kids off her everytime she attempted to do anything like that.we didnt let her babysit as she would go behind our backs and give ds1 chocolate when she knew it gave him an upset stomach, her excuse was that someone else gave it to him.my thoughts-she was in charge of him!

you need to put a stop to it now or she will think she can do what she wants with your child and feed it what she wants.

weaning should be when you and your dp are ready and foods that you decide, not a pushy mil

good luck

Tryharder · 11/10/2009 18:58

Your baby your Rules

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/10/2009 19:00

I agree it's not good, and that allergies can be serious, but the vast majority of children would suffer no long-term effects. Of course you don't want her feeding him chocolate buttons though.

(And I speak a a MIL to a weaning baby!)

OP and her DH need to have A Serious Chat with MIL. But yelling and screaming won't help.

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 19:09

you are overstating this.baby licked chocolate not ingest 12 krispy kremes

Mybox · 11/10/2009 19:11

She's waiting to fill him full of sweets & choc when she's looking after him when he's bigger

suebee2b · 11/10/2009 19:11

OMG that is so out of order. YANBU at all. glad your DP agreed wiwth you. Would not let her near your baby.Stupid woman.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/10/2009 19:17

"Not letting her near the baby" would be a bit of an over-reaction; she is the child's granny, after all!

Original poster
thisxgirl · 11/10/2009 19:21

I just don't want him to reject more plain foods because he's had his first taste of sugar - although I suppose he won't remember the taste, though, since I don't plan to wean him for many weeks yet.

I was just so shocked! I felt she could have discussed it with us before trying it. So glad DP and I were so very much on the same page with this.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 19:21

she didn't wean your baby you are really exaggerating.yes she is in the wrong but you need to get this in a perspective.hardly reason to banish granny

and the older generation do baby things differently, often see things very differently

i imagine the more you get indignant the more she will chunter on about feeding chocolate buttons

dont turn this into a defining moment
ok,it wasn't granny's finest moment but hopefully she gets message

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/10/2009 19:24

It's understanable that you're shocked, but really, it's not that big a deal. It's certainly not worth banishing granny forever and ever.

TheMummyonElkStreet · 11/10/2009 19:28

absolutely agree with scottishmummy, i get why you are angry about it but don't play it up into a bigger thing. your baby isn't going to become an obese sugar-addicted child because of one lick, and his weaning is still utterly under your control as and when you (and him) are ready for it.
FWIW my DD grabbed an icecream cone when she was, er, about 15 wks, well before i'd started weaning and had finished a pretty good deal of it before i got to her!! She's now a very healthy 20 month old with an equally good appetite for ALL things, chocolate and non-chocolate!!
Chill out and move on. And good luck with weaning!

katiestar · 11/10/2009 19:30

In a few weeks when your baby is putting everything he can lay his hands on into his mouth a lick of chocolate will be the least of your worries.

DorotheaPlentighoul · 11/10/2009 19:35

Don't give her ammunition to dismiss your future efforts and/or rules by over-reacting to this. I would have been furious in your shoes, it's normal to feel strongly about things like your new baby's first exposure to food -- but I don't think you can realistically expect your MIL to really accept that it is hugely serious.

Better to settle for getting her "on side" even if it means moderating your own feelings in order to keep her sweet. You do have to ensure she gets the message but try not to come across as control-freakish (not saying that you are, btw).

Recall DS crying in M&S cafe when he was a tiny baby and a granny-aged woman leaning across to me and saying in a wise manner, "A wee dot of jam on his dummy always does the trick, hen" Jam was even offered from her scone! The past is another country, etc.

DorotheaPlentighoul · 11/10/2009 19:37

disclaimer -- should have said, I would have been furious but I know now that it's not quite as big a deal as it would have seemed at the time, IYSWIM

piscesmoon · 11/10/2009 19:41

I can't see why one of you didn't just reach for the baby, say calmly 'he is too young' and changed the subject. Everyone seems to have been OTT.

NinthWave · 11/10/2009 19:46

YANBU but he will more than likely be fine. After all, subsequent siblings will probably end up 'tasting' far worse than a chocolate doughnut, if my friends' toddlers are anything to go by

Jamieandhismagictorch · 11/10/2009 20:23

My MIL started weaning my DS2 (at 3.5 months) on chocolate icecream. Fortunately he was not my PFB, or my head would have exploded.

I didn't take it personally. She has food ishoos

You baby will be fine.

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 20:23

wait til he crawls and puts anything in his yap

don't sweat this.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 11/10/2009 20:23

meant to say your baby will be fine ( "you baby" was a bit over-familiar )

Jamieandhismagictorch · 11/10/2009 20:29

Actually "started weaning" is pretty emotive and a bit inaccurate. Grandmothers like to treat their grandchilden, and chocolate is the ultimate treat for many.

tasjaSAmuminSA · 11/10/2009 20:34

Sounds like my MIL. Good luck is all I can say. My DD it just given sweets and chocolates the whole time. Even coffee!! when she was 2 years old.

stupid old woman

Swipe left for the next trending thread