Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry that my MIL started to wean my 2.5 month old on a chocolate doughnut?!

134 replies

thisxgirl · 11/10/2009 18:51

I imagine I'm not.

He was 3 weeks early so I don't plan to wean him until he is 5 months at least but, while holding him this evening, she reached over to grab one of my DP's chocolate iced doughnuts and encouraged my baby to lick the chocolate off!

DP went mad at her - his first food should be carrot or pear not artificial chocolate-flavoured icing - and she was saying to my baby, "oh daddy's mean, isn't it! You enjoyed that didn't you? I'll have to get you some chocolate buttons. It didn't do your daddy any harm!"

Yeah, great idea, wean a 10 weeks old baby on sugar

OP posts:
LeonieBooCreepy · 14/10/2009 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WinkyWinkola · 14/10/2009 10:14

Yes, scientific proof is emerging but what I really mean is on a case-by-case example, my DH's digestive problems can never be proven to be linked to his being weaned early, iyswim.

So, when people start pushing parents to wean their babies early because they did it to their children and, "Look, he's fine," it's really difficult to respond with the scientific proof because to them, it's meaningless.

pranma · 14/10/2009 11:02

I asked my dd if I could be the one to give dgs his first chocolate button but she should say when!It was allowed on his first birthday-just one-and now its rewards only[he's 3]and she always asks me if he's had any,how many etc but she uses them for rewards too.

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 11:10

keep this in perspective.her baby wasnt weaned it licked a donut.

weaning is the purposeful act of giving food,involving ingestion, mastication,
swallowing over a repeted period eg few meals a day

the tone of some of you is verging on hysterical.

yes it wasnt granny finest moment but jesus wept it isnt carte blanche to shoot all MIL/Grannies just because they might have sinister motives

ItsGrimUpNorth · 14/10/2009 11:23

Who's shooting all mils/grannies? Posters are just saying to keep an eye on things, that's all.

And the discussion diverted a bit from the original op. Is that hysterical?

Kerrymumbles · 14/10/2009 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 11:31

yes the donut licker will probably resort to crime and high floutin ways all because it licked the donut

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 14/10/2009 11:33

Sil stuck her dirty finger covered in melted chocolate in my ds's mouth when he was just over one day old. I don't know what gets into people sometimes!

DuelingFANGo · 14/10/2009 11:34

why is it so important to some people to give children chocolate? Reading the post from pranma wanting to be the first to give her GS chocolate makes it sound a bit like a child having chocolate for the first time is some kind of major child stepping stone. Do we have the same feelings about other foodstuffs, like cheese or banana or smoked salmon ?

DuelingFANGo · 14/10/2009 11:35

"Sil stuck her dirty finger covered in melted chocolate in my ds's mouth when he was just over one day old. I don't know what gets into people sometimes! " and

WTF!!!! that's just such a stupid thing to do!

ItsGrimUpNorth · 14/10/2009 11:39

Oh stop having hysterics.

DuelingFANGo · 14/10/2009 11:41

who? me?

ItsGrimUpNorth · 14/10/2009 11:45

Yes, apparently to not like people giving your unweaned children chocolate is hysterical. Especially if you ask them not to do it in future.

This is not my pov btw.

DuelingFANGo · 14/10/2009 11:47

ah -

I get you.

artlesschaos · 14/10/2009 11:50

I believe back in your MIL's day they weaned early on all sorts of crap like condensed milk, rice in a bottle, chocolate puddings etc.
I don't think she meant any harm and she was only trying to give your baby a little treat..grandparent's main job right?
I think you are overeacting a bit. Having said that I was furious when I caught DH feeding my eldest DC a chocolate Easter egg aged 4 months.
I have relaxed considerably after having DC2 and realise that these type of incidents are really no big deal in the great scheme of things.

Original poster
thisxgirl · 14/10/2009 18:39

My relationship with my MIL has always been excellent - she's been almost like a mother to me - but certainly things have been more strained since I gave birth. She has very rigid and old-fashioned ideas about raising infants and I will have to carefully think about how to ask her to butt out a little...she is still insistent that he 'took' to the chocolate so enthusiastically because he's ready for solids. Yes, he's a hungry and big baby for his age and considering he was early - but I would prefer to stick to current guidelines and wean him on healthier, plainer foods so that his diet is eventually varied.

OP posts:
diddl · 14/10/2009 18:48

Just a slight point.

Is three weeks considered early?

bananastainsonallmytops · 14/10/2009 19:27

YANBU

You can read everywhere that is isn't recommended to wean a child younger than 17 weeks. If your baby was premature I think you're right about wanting to wait.
There are links between early weaning and allergies.
My MIL is a nightmare, amongst other things, she's been trying to shovel chocolate down my DS throat since he was 6 months old. I have to REPEAT many many times that chocolate isn't suitable for a baby. Is it so wrong to want my son to grow up liking fruit not artificial crap then will probably make him hyper?

I would just tell your MIL that in her day things were done differently, and you will do what you think is best.

bananastainsonallmytops · 14/10/2009 19:28

YANBU

You can read everywhere that is isn't recommended to wean a child younger than 17 weeks. If your baby was premature I think you're right about wanting to wait.
There are links between early weaning and allergies.
My MIL is a nightmare, amongst other things, she's been trying to shovel chocolate down my DS throat since he was 6 months old. I have to REPEAT many many times that chocolate isn't suitable for a baby. Is it so wrong to want my son to grow up liking fruit not artificial crap then will probably make him hyper?

I would just tell your MIL that in her day things were done differently, and you will do what you think is best.

Original poster
thisxgirl · 14/10/2009 19:46

I was 36+4 when I gave birth...the midwives made a bigger deal over him being 'early' than I thought was necessary...

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 23:16

op is about a randomly licked donut,banana you are talking about weaning.i agree with you.BUT the op isnt a weaning quandry, it is licked donut.weaning is the purposeful act of feeding,ingesting,masticating. not licking a donut

kitkatcadaverqueen · 15/10/2009 17:51

Bottom Line Everybody. This is not just about weaning. This is about another person making a descision about what is or is not ok for your child, regardless of your feelings on the matter.

Then being told your feelings on the matter and instead of apologising saying that they will do it again only more so.

How many mothers would do that kind of thing to a friend ?

I wouldn't.

I have friends who don't like their children to wear shoes before they are walking. I don't buy shoes and stick them on their feet.

I have friends who don't like their children to eat sugary sweets - I would not give that child a lollipop behind their mums back - or in front of them because that would be out of order.

Everybody has different ideas, views and opinions and everybody has the right to bring their children up as they see fit.

I wouldn't treat another person in a way that I would want to be treated so why should a MIL be able to get away with it?

kitkatcadaverqueen · 15/10/2009 17:58

BTW Leonie In case yr interested Spoke to HV today about dc4's upset tummy and asked her if if it was likely to be related to the juice, virgin gut and all that and she said yes it most probably was and that if I hadn't mentioned virgin gut she would not have said anything to me about it but as I was aware of the phenomenon yes that was the problem and it would likely be 2 - 4 weeks before his gut was back to normal.

In other words if I was shoving food down his throat on purpose she would have reccomended don't do that, but wouldn't have said the truth about why or how serious it could potentially be.

ninagleams · 15/10/2009 18:07

When my MIL suggests this type of thing about my DD I just look at her and say "don't you dare give her chocolate. She'll become an addict and then I'll have to give her all of my sweets!" When my parents or DP suggest it I say "why don't you just give her cocaine". That shuts them up!

kitkatcadaverqueen · 15/10/2009 18:10

nina !! love it, storing for future reference