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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry that my MIL started to wean my 2.5 month old on a chocolate doughnut?!

134 replies

thisxgirl · 11/10/2009 18:51

I imagine I'm not.

He was 3 weeks early so I don't plan to wean him until he is 5 months at least but, while holding him this evening, she reached over to grab one of my DP's chocolate iced doughnuts and encouraged my baby to lick the chocolate off!

DP went mad at her - his first food should be carrot or pear not artificial chocolate-flavoured icing - and she was saying to my baby, "oh daddy's mean, isn't it! You enjoyed that didn't you? I'll have to get you some chocolate buttons. It didn't do your daddy any harm!"

Yeah, great idea, wean a 10 weeks old baby on sugar

OP posts:
victoriascrumptious · 11/10/2009 22:42

mmmmmm chocolate doughnut mmm
Did it have sprinkles on it as a matter of interest?

hormonstersnomore · 11/10/2009 22:57

My gran weaned me on rich tea biscuits dipped in her tea. I much prefer chocolate digestives now though.

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 22:59

did you receive counselling/family therapy for the rich tea debacle?
has it scarred you deeply.
do you wince at a tea biscuit
the ignominy of it all

Squiglet · 11/10/2009 23:01

Only licked it. Not like forced the donut in his mouth.

ALso in relation to weaning guidelines are 6 months minimum, later if premmie, so yabu to think of weaning early.

Squiglet · 11/10/2009 23:02

PFB i think

Ronaldinhio · 11/10/2009 23:10

isn't she weaned already

pfb alert methinks

scottishmummy · 11/10/2009 23:12

listen given ds will try fags,alcohol,etc a licked donut isn't the path to ruination

TheFallenMadonna · 11/10/2009 23:15

She didn't start to wean her. Really. Mind you, I got all arsey with DH when he gave DD a bit of bread before I had 'started to wean'. He laughed at me. I laugh at me now...

Jamieandhismagictorch · 12/10/2009 09:14

I laugh at me too ......

ArghhhhmazingBouncingSpider · 12/10/2009 09:41

This thread has made me want Krispy Kreme donuts.

IWantAChickAndADuck · 12/10/2009 09:50

I don't think YABU... it was my DP who was a nightmare with this sort of thing though, not PIL. Everytime we were with them, he'd start giving him bits of cake/chocolate, tastes of his VERY salty dinner. It used to drive me mad, but he knew I wouldn't say anything when we were in front of his parents. I realise now that it won't do him any harm, but I think it was his attitude about it that got to me more. (I am a bit of an organic, lentil kinda person though!)

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 12/10/2009 09:51

YANBU

I'll add a couple:

YANBU
YANBU

Firstly, he's not her child and she needs to realise you are mum, so you know best and get to make the decisions. You can decide whether he can have chocolate or not and if you say no, you should be able to trust her to abide by that.

Second, chocolate to a 2.5 month old? Seriously? I think some people on this thread are playing Devil's Advocate. Who the hell would want their child eating chocolate at 2.5 month old? He should be on milk. There's no need for it, the baby hasn't got a taste for it so it isn't 'missing out' on anything. It's very 50's to treat with food anyway, and I certainly wouldn't want my children to associate sugary, processed foods with 'oh I have been good today' or 'nan's lovely'.

It was no only a ridiculous move, but the fact that she continued with 'I'll have to get you some chocolate buttons' means, to her, it's not even a mistake. You'll have trouble with that one, mark my words.

Well done your DH for being on your side, making a point to his mum, and for actually being a responsible parent. Unlike her, clearly.

Jux · 12/10/2009 10:51

My MIL was desperate to give dd Ribena when she was only 6wks. Instead of milk. I don't know whether she actually did, but I wouldn't be surprised. She used to get a new bottle of hte bloody stuff "just for dd" almost every week!

She also tried to give her Coke but dd refused it

lanismum · 12/10/2009 11:50

My mum gave my then 11 weeks old ds a lick of a mini cheddar, and my aunt gave him a quaver yesterday, he is the grand old age of 16 weeks now! he has also has licks of chocolate and cream, wouldnt say he has actually eaten any of this though, just little licks, not the best of ideas but its just a nan/auntie thing to do I think

lanismum · 12/10/2009 11:53

Actually, I have just remembered that someone flavoured my dd1s formula with chocolate milkshake powder.........cant remember if it was my nan or aunt or my mum, but I remember dd only being 6 weeks old good job I am laid back!

sockmonkey · 12/10/2009 12:03

I remember being equally livid when MIL dipped exclusively BFd DS1's dummy in a fizzy drink when he was about 3 months old. He is now six and a very bright, healthy and lovely boy.
MIL is fab too.
Don't let it stress you too much, but if it makes you feel better, keep a close eye on MIL

twirlymum · 12/10/2009 12:21

It's not really that big a deal, is it?

In the grand scheme of things it is not important, and certainly not worth falling out over.

I can't imagine she did it with any malice.

EdgarAllenPoo · 12/10/2009 12:27

i'd have been angry if she didn't ask me first...

but in my rational mind, i know it's not a huge deal - its more one of those litle things that shows they think they know better han you, that's bloody annoying.

scottishmummy · 12/10/2009 19:39

was it a posh krispy kreme or a 10 for £1 donut? did she eat it after baby licked it

Gumps · 12/10/2009 19:58

Completely understand. My mil fed my ds1 his first ever proper food when she offered to look after him while I popped to the shops. I was staying there as we had building work at our house and had pureed up a load of apple the day before. She knew how excited I was and we had all talked about it and had the camera at the ready.
But when I came back from the shop she said he had been hungry and couldn't wait so she had fed him. Seeing as he had only ever had milk in his life before I have no idea how she thought he was hungry for apple.
Anyway I said oh I just have to make a phone call and took ds and sat and cried in the car for half an hour, telling him I was his mummy.
It doesn't sound like a big deal really but I wanted to be the first person to put food in his mouth so no YANBU.
At least my ds got apple but knowing mil god only knows what he has had since...

whelk · 12/10/2009 20:16

YANBU AT ALL - I would be furious - but then I have two dds with food allergies.

whelk · 12/10/2009 20:18

For the majority of dc it would be annoying but as everyone says they'd get over it, for a child predisposed to allergies it could well trigger one at a ridiculously early stage - but as I said above I'm Ms Allergy!!

Squiglet · 12/10/2009 21:56

hmm so no one picked up the whole wanted to wean early comment op made anyway.

Heated · 12/10/2009 22:08

If he's your pfb I completely understand: can remember 6ft 2 dh coming home and being really crestfallen I hadn't waited so he could witness dc1 having his first spoonful of mush!

Really can't believe how pfb we were You do get over it eventually and will laugh at MIL and yourselves.

33k · 12/10/2009 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.