...to think DS's father should pay me more maintenance....???

[mummee09v]

....he gives me £125 a month yet works full time. and also lives with his gf who is a single mum on benefits who gets rent paid etc, (ie she doesnt declare he lives there, he is "registered" living at his mates house) so he doesn't even pay any rent. and he has a car paid through work as well so he must be raking it in.

i have no idea how much he earns, he won't tell me, but he has a reasonably good job working in sales for british gas so at a guess i would say its probably £16000 plus and probably gets bonuses as well. yet he only pays me this pathetic amount.

i hate confronting him because it always turns really nasty - the last time we had a "discussion" about maintenance (he was only paying me £100 and i wanted £150) it ended in a huge shouting match and weeks of bad feeling and he eventually agreed to "meet me halfway" at £125 a month - as if he was doing me a big fucking favour. and he is one of these people you just cannot argue with, he has an answer for everything.

i would go through CSA but have heard from friends they are useless. plus i really don't want to fall out with him because its hard enough getting him to see DS enough as it is, he lives 100 miles away and reluctantly has DS 2 weekends a month. and i really need the break from him (i know that sounds bad) so don't want him to stop seeing him. and of course its important for DS to have his dad in his life (although to be honest, my new partner is more of a dad to DS than my ex is)

i know he is not paying me enough as my friends DD's dad is on £15k and pays her £150 (which the CSA said was the minimum he had to give her)

me ex is a tight fisted C**T and i hate him for it. but every time i ask him for money i feel like i am begging, and he says things to make me feel shit for asking, like questioning why i need the extra and accusing me of wanting more money coz i now have a new baby with my new partner, and my partner works and earns OK money. AS IF!! my DD's dad more than looks after us financially - but that doesn't mean DS's dad shouldnt pay what he is meant to!!

and - someguy - thats very very interesting, where did you get that info about the british gas jobs??

google 'british gas sales' there are ads. No way is he getting £16k inclusive of car. £20k basic inc. car before commission is about right, but with commission much more.

Shiny, sounds like you have it sorted!
You must be minted!

I know this is late in the discussion but I cannot believe some of the messages the OP received.

Someone way back said that on 12k she manages to save and the OP should be grateful for 22k as it was alot of money. If I was on 12k I coukld save too but only because then the benefits agency would step in and contribute to the £700 a month rent I have plus the council tax. What the OP earns is immaterial. The question is does her ex-partner pay a decent contribution for his child? If the OP has to live in the private renting sector (as I do) then let me tell those of you judging her that 22k will be a crap amount of money with over half the income going in rent. On 22k she might not get any housing allowance either, If he's on good money then a fair contribution would be enough to ensure his son has a roof over his head which is warm.

I bring in £1800 a month, pay £700 in rent, £120 in council tax, £300 in petrol costs (so I can work) £120 in electricity costs, food and housekeeping is another £250, add the phone plus the mobile and any extras DS needs and it doesn't usually leave much. On an income of £22k I would be in negative figures and certainly could not keep a roof over my head.

In short I don't think the OP is being unreasonable in asking her ex for extra cash to support his son. And I am a bitch so would be dobbing them in to the authorities for fraud as well.

in refernce too stewiegriffinsmoms post mummeee09v should sit down with arshe hole lol and say to the arse that maybe if hes not willing to give her more money.

then set up an account that u both have access too but you cant withdraw money out of it or get one that needs two signatures to draw money out and get the asshole to pay money into that so little man can go college and uni when hes older.

itll be like a trust fund account but you both have access to it !! even if its just an extra 20 quid a month !!

would mumee v go for that lol !!!!!