Pale mixed race baby raising a few eyebrows......

[angelz]

My ds was born 3 months ago and surprised us all by coming out extremly pale with straight red hair, despite having a black father.

I myself am VERY pale, so found it more amusing than shocking as I know how funny genetics can be.

But lately my partner has said that while he loves our ds he is finding it hard as he cannot see himself, or any of his family in ds.

He has even mentioned a paternity test, and while I know in his heart he knows how ridiculous this is, he says sometimes he can't digest what he sees before his eyes.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?.... will our ds darken, or is it really possible that a mixed race baby can stay this white? Even his little ears have a pinkish hue, and his eyelids are almost see through!

Personally I would never have thought it an issue, but can see why my partner may struggle a little with it, people already have given us a few funny looks when I introduce him as ds's father

I thought both parents had to have the ginger gene, for babies to have ginger hair? Not much help to you i know. Perhaps an old wives tale.

No help re: colour changing but I watched a TV programme not so long ago about a black teeneager who was albino and therefore, he was totally pink with white afro hair! He had an interesting time of it but in his heart, he was black. He was proud of his heritage and just thought "to hell with what anyone else thinks!".

No reason to post this other than it was dead interesting!

one of the families when I was at school had a black mum and a white dad and they were all different shades some with blue eyes and some with brown ~

Also in DSs class at primary was a bright ginger haired boy who also had a sister looked same ~ BUT the parents were Mum blondish and dad dark brown

So I think it can proably vary ~ if it would help him to bond then I think I would have a paternity test cos as you say he knows the baby is his but this would at least confirm it to him ~ what is the harm if it is a certainty???

I think the whole thing is quite wonderful really- genetics is bizarre!

And I agree with you RTKangaMummy - he can do the test, just as long as there is no Jeremy Kyle involved :O) I don't want anything to stand in the way of them bonding.

I have twins that are mixed race, and when they were born one was very pale, looked white, whereas the other has always looked Indian, with no trace of white at all.

The paler twin has darkened with age, and now defo looks more mixed race and not white. The other has stayed the same and really doesn't look like he is mine at all!

It doesn't really bother me that neither particularly look like me. It is a bit annoying when people look straight through me when we are out looking for his mother. I think as they get older though, that aspect seems to get a bit easier for some reason. People do seem to notice/comment more when they are young!

Even when children do have the same skin tone as their parents they don't necessarily look like them! My older two are blonde with very blue eyes, where as I am darker haired.

there are a few pics on my profile, and you can see a bit of how much paler dt2 was than dt1 when he was younger.

The other thing about genetics is that my nephew who is 21 years old looks more like me than either of his parents and he always has done

BUT I was adopted at 6 weeks old and so have NO genetic connection with my sister {his mum}

Good luck and please don't go on Jeremy VILE

I am sure your DS is georgeous

My friend is Indian but her DD is very white with white blonde hair, so it seems as though it's fairly common.
I would imagine as your DS grows your DP will start to see some of himself in him, whether it's looks or personality, TBH when they're tiny I don't really think they look like either parent - they're just newborns

i know 4 kids, now adults from a mixed race family.
1 is blonde, green eyed and white
1 is dark as in text book Afro-Caribbean.
1 is dark but got a bit more milk in his coffee.
1 is clearly mixed race with a red afro.

neither parent is white. both are mixed up Jamaicans.

I have a blonde haired blue eyed cousin and neither his mum or dad are white. again just mixed up Caribbean folk. He is a throwback to some white ancestor.

it happens.

My friends are the opposite way, in that she is black and the father is white - and they have a white, blond haired baby. She is just indignant that her genes are so poor they got beaten into such submission!

Good luck - I imagine your partner will get a lot of ribbing and unhelpful comments made, so maybe just so that he can prove to any doubters it might be worth getting a paternity test.

A

have a friend who is mixed race. she married a very very blond, pale scottish guy and they have one very pale, straight blond haried daughter who burns in the sun and shows no signs of changing - she's about 5 now

You dont need to have red gene on both sides.

My father was Scottish with red beard and fair hair.
My Mother has dark brown hair.

I had startling red hair at birth gone to dark brown now.

I think the variety of colourings is beautiful.

I've commented on your thread; I am white with an Asian mother.

at paternity test, tell him to laugh off the doubters! If he has a test they will just think he had reason to doubt you. It happens, seems to be fairly common and it means nothing!

I was at school with two children who had a black dad and a white mum - they were both really really pale white with brown hair - they had step brothers who were black.

It was a bit odd but from this thread not that uncommon!

The only thing my DS has inherited from DH appearancewise is his height, otherwise he is the image of me. DD looks even less like me that DS looks like DH. She was very blonde and blue eyed as a baby although hair has got darker, where as I have mediterranean colouring.

If you google"black and white twins" you can see what startling differences genetics can make.

What colour hair do you have Angelz?

Angelz,

I think it's fairly common, especially if your partner is African-Caribbean or African American(so likely to have some mixed heritage himself). It's also common for the parent the child least resembles to find that quite hard.

I have one white, very pale European parent and one black African parent. My African parent is quite light-skinned by African standards (though no one in England would describe that parent as light-skinned).

I had blond hair and blue eyes as a baby. I still have relatively pale skin but brown eyes and very dark brown (very African) hair. My siblings are darker. Our white parent always felt sad that there was little resemblance as people assumed there was no blood relationship.

In my experience, English people can be very dim about this, especially 'right-on' ones who think they know how these things work.

Babies change a lot and I think mixed-race babies more than others. Chances are your ds will darken and his hair will change.

The red hair thing is so common in mixed-race people that Americans have a word for it (redbone). Look at Wes Brown (plays for Man U, ginger all over, and much much better looking than that sounds).

Your ds will be gorgeous whatever happens.

Wow Ghanamafia a very sweeping statement English people can be very dim about it!

white friend of mine with dark hair
Black husband

Pale red haired baby (now a teenager)

My best friends paternal grandmother was Jamacian, her paternal grandfather and maternal grandparents were white.
She is a blue eyed blonde.

I just think this thread proves that babies come in all wonderful colours, shapes and sizes, and I love my ds whatever ...... just need my lovely partner to stop grazing his knuckles, and if that takes a test then so be it :O)

one of my brothers looks mixed race when actually my parents are both as pale as and my uncle (my mums brother) also looks mixed race.

my cousin married a chineese man and shes olive skinned with dark hair. her ds1 is very fair with almost white blonde hair and doesnt look at all chinese!

genetics can be very odd!

There's no reason why the baby's dad can't have a ginger gene in there somewhere.
If his family is from the Caribbean, there's a good chance that he's got lots of different races in his family tree, which would explain your son's colouring. Encourage him to ask questions of his parents, grandparents etc.

Btw, my sons are both mixed race and were very pale at birth. They've both darkened a lot over the years.