Pale mixed race baby raising a few eyebrows......

[angelz]

My ds was born 3 months ago and surprised us all by coming out extremly pale with straight red hair, despite having a black father.

I myself am VERY pale, so found it more amusing than shocking as I know how funny genetics can be.

But lately my partner has said that while he loves our ds he is finding it hard as he cannot see himself, or any of his family in ds.

He has even mentioned a paternity test, and while I know in his heart he knows how ridiculous this is, he says sometimes he can't digest what he sees before his eyes.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?.... will our ds darken, or is it really possible that a mixed race baby can stay this white? Even his little ears have a pinkish hue, and his eyelids are almost see through!

Personally I would never have thought it an issue, but can see why my partner may struggle a little with it, people already have given us a few funny looks when I introduce him as ds's father

I don't know if anyone's mentioned those twins born to a couple who were both caucasian/African Caribbean- one came out darker than her parents, the other completely Caucasian. ok, so not the most reliable source but apparently it's happened again. Beautiful, beautiful girls.

Happened to a friend's sister's twins too- she's south Indian, her partner is Caucasian British, one twin is Indian, the other is caucasian. They apparently at first glance didn't even look like sisters, let alone twins...

Also they aren't the set I was thinking of. shall do some more web scouting.

Oh god, how I hate linking the DM

Friends of ours- she pale Irish colouring, red hair, he half Indian half Irish. Their children are: one gorgeous dark red haired one with pale Irish skin and freckles, one pale skinned blond child and one Indian looking child.

not African Genes I know but My Mil delivered Ginger chinese twins (to 2 apparently chinese parents!) she was a midwife.

there is lots of variation within genetics, heres hoping your loively DP gets hus head round it soon

I know a couple with three dcs. She is white British with ginger hair and he is mixed race Russian and Nigerian. One of their dcs looks black, one looks arabic with dark eyes and curlyish hair, the other has blonde afro hair, blue eyes and tanned looking skin, they do not look related!

My sister who is pale white with light brown hair/blue eyes and her partner is very black have a DD who is very pale with bright blue eyes and was born with straight black hair!
Her DD now has very Afro hair and has darkened slightly with the sun.
Her partner kept commenting on how he didnt think she was his.

My partner black , I'm white and our 2 DS both look very different. The oldest has very corse dark brown hair people think he is from the med and tans very dark and my youngest has very pale skin with light brown hair and big lose curls.They both have long dark eye lashes to die for..

I think it's amazing how genes produce such different beautiful children.

I have seen many mixed race children with blonde or red hair over the years, I would guess that your partner or you have red hair somewhere in the family.

Sweeping experience of some (obviously not all) English people being very dim about it, claw3.

Fellow mum/friend at DC's primary school was black, her partner white (Irish but dark hair/dark eyes). Both of her DD's were remarkably pale right up until leaving primary school. She would often laugh when we were in the park that she had to slather factor 50 over her girls because their skn burnt at the sight of the sun whilst my daughter, with two white parents, had skin which went the most beautiful instant brown without any protection (I still used it though - I only discovered she didn't 'need' it when she spent some time with my mum... I couldn't be too mad at her, thngs were different in her day but she's now aware of me feelings ). My sons skin s almost translucent, freckle, auburn hair...

So, yes, mixed race children can, and do, look very different from one or the other parents... as can children from same race parents! We ll know about 'dominant' genes but sometimes the 'underdog' gene or trait will win through.

My ds is mixed race, white mum, west african origin dad. He has darlened a lot over the years.

When he was born he had fine silky black hair and his skin was sallow. His hair turned curly over night when he was 5 months.

My ex used to say that some black people in West Africa had red hair.

I think it is just soooo obvious why ds is so pale - his father is of Jamaican heritage, and has a white Scottish Great Grandfather (through slavery unfortunately) - his Grandmother is very white - my family are Scottish/ Irish and all very pale, with a lot of red heads - it's hardly suprising our little one came out the way he did. I just think people have a preconceived idea of what mixed race is, as if it was like mixing paint. There is a whole lot more to consider, and yes, it does annoy me that he can't see it, but what can you do??!

Just to add another example to the mix: I am pale and freckly with the ginger gene (though my hair is more brown than red) and DH is half white, half Pakistani. Our DD is blonde and blue-eyed. Go figure...

My 3 mixed race DC were all very pale when born (twins were almost white)... cue lots raised eyebrows and comments regarding the milkman

However, within about a month their true coloring came through and I would say they are now really quite dark (have pics on profile).

A couple of ways to tell what the eventual skin colour might be is to look at the earlobes and also the bed of the fingernail where it meets the finger. Often the colour of these can be an indicator of final skin colour.

My Indian sister is married to a man whose mother was Irish, and father is West Indian.
Her eldest ds looks Indian, her daughter looks West Indian, and the youngest has blue eyes and looks the spit of his Irish grandmother. My sister is sure that when she does the school run people assume her children all have different fathers.
Her kids are gorgeous.

I have a red-haired, brown eyed girl, born to two fair-haired, blue-eyed parents. I had always thought that you couldn't have a brown-eyed child from two blue-eyed parents, but it turns out more complicated than that. When we asked our families, it turns out that there were redheads on both sides of the family a while back, so I guess it just popped out!

Isn't Mother Nature a wonderful thing-never ceases to amaze . I'm sure you'll find the answer if you try tracing your family trees-should prove very interesting .

My son is also mixed race (I'm dark with West African origins, my DH is Norwegian, very pale with blond hair and blue eyes). He is currently 5mo and rather pale with brown-blond straight/wavy hair and eyes that keep changing colour, though I'm pretty sure they'll be ending up brown. Conversation last week when taking him out for a walk:
Stranger: Oh, cute baby.
Me (preening): Oh, thank you.
Stranger: Do you take care of him?
Me: Yes, I do.
Stranger: Where are his parents? Working?
Me: Erm, well his father is.
Stranger: What about his mother?
Me: I'm his mother.
Stranger: Oh, I thought you said you take care of him.
Me (getting ever more perplexed): Yes, I did. I am his mother after all.
Stranger: Oh. He looks nothing like you.
Me (no longer preening): Erm ... I like to think he does.
Stranger: But he's so ... (trailing off)
Me (starting to feel sorry for stranger who's gone a magnificent shade of red): Pale? That's because his father's white.
Stranger: Ah, that's it. I thought you were his nanny.
Me (all pity evaporating rapidly): Well, I can assure you I'm not.

I guess I can understand why I've had to endure this type of conversation several times. However, it does get rather wearisome Chances are he will get darker as he gets older- then it'll be DH's turn to get the uncle/manny convos

Oh Asana - people are so annoying sometimes aren't they! People have already been making Jermey Kyle jokes to me and my dh - thing is I don't really find it funny anymore, it's hurtful because even though I know they are jesting at the end of the day what they are suggesting is that I have been unfaithful!

I suppose maybe it will take the wider population a few more years to catch up with the power of genetics as more and more babies are born of mixed heritage :O)

What6 colur hair has your milkman got ?

I too had a pale mixed race baby. Ds was born with dark blue eyes and blonde straight hair.
A midwife in the hospital came on duty and inspected him and said 'Don't worry...sometimes it takes a while for the skin colour to develop...i assume his dad is white'
Dh is very pale with very light blue eyes.
I am mixed race myself but with quite dark skin and afro hair.

I also used to get people assuming i was the nanny.

Mil once said when ds was little'it's lucky that you are the one with the dark skin and not my son otherwise people might think you had been unfaithful'
I guess it is this sort of fuckwittage that your dh is worried about coming up against.

By 3 ds's hair was darkening (he's 12 now and it's kind of a dark grey colour....it's not very curly but the texture is very course like mine and it grows outwards rather than down.His eyes are light brown.
dd (6) has slightly darker skin with very dark eyes and dark long floppy ringlety hair.

Some of my features have become more apparent as my children have got older...ds looks more like me than his dad now. Dd (although if you look at hair and colouring) looks more like me... but facially looks more like dh.

Fwiw...silly comments have been far and few bwtween over the years...and generally coming from people who are just a bit nosy or errm thick

Perhaps it would help if you could get your dh to read this thread.

Long time no see Asana!

Yes, sod other people if they are going to be numpties.

Asana - just get the phrase "He's mine" into the conversation as soon as you can, that should put a stop to it.

Hey BOF. I've been around - less so since my Velcro Baby got a bit more mobile! What's with the Bite?

And Acanthus, you're right. Then again, I may just get someone still asking, "Oh, is he your child?" with the usual look of surprise/raised eyebrow.

angelz, try not to let it get to you. Though, I must say, it's all well and good others joking about it; your DP, on the other hand ... Can't see why he would still mention it if he can see how much it bothers you. On a serious note, if he asks for a paternity test, that speaks volumes about how much he trusts you and, even if you decide to get one done, you then need to ask serious questions about your relationship and why he would ask you to have a test done in the first place.

both parents do need the ginger gene for a baby to have red hair but the gene is recessive - unless you have 2 ginger genes you will not show ginger hair. Your dh must have one ginger gene - this could go way back in his family though so you'd never necessarily spot it.