Pale mixed race baby raising a few eyebrows......

[angelz]

My ds was born 3 months ago and surprised us all by coming out extremly pale with straight red hair, despite having a black father.

I myself am VERY pale, so found it more amusing than shocking as I know how funny genetics can be.

But lately my partner has said that while he loves our ds he is finding it hard as he cannot see himself, or any of his family in ds.

He has even mentioned a paternity test, and while I know in his heart he knows how ridiculous this is, he says sometimes he can't digest what he sees before his eyes.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?.... will our ds darken, or is it really possible that a mixed race baby can stay this white? Even his little ears have a pinkish hue, and his eyelids are almost see through!

Personally I would never have thought it an issue, but can see why my partner may struggle a little with it, people already have given us a few funny looks when I introduce him as ds's father

BTW those of us who are mixed race and 'don't look mixed race' do look mixed race. We are mixed race. We just happen to be at one end of the mixed race spectrum, with as much right to our non-white heritage as those who are darker-skinned.

Angelz What made you come back onto this thread after 2 years to update?

Have you just recently done the DNA test or something?

Fascinating thread...

hey angelz

My DH is half Indian, very dark features, and I am a brunette with olive skin and hazel eyes... our DS has white blonde hair, very white skin and blue eyes! We think it must be a mixture of mine and DH's mum (both white and fairish) but still we joke that we are glad we had a home birth! Total strangers come up to us to talk about it?!

now i kind of worry about future DCs and, if they are dark like us, whether DS will feel left out stupid eh?!

Hope it all works out ok, genes are funny things!

genetics can do all sorts but if this is getting comments from his family or he has some doubts although how stupid the may be it may make everyone happy to get a dna test then its there in black and white.

Wilderumpus: no, it's not stupid, you're being very sensitive about it. It is hard, if you look completely white, for your non-white heritage and family links to be recognised. The thing you can do is be open about it. Colour is such a difficult issue for many of us that bizarrely enough you can end up never talking about colour in your own home, while being treated like an object in the zoo the minute strangers find out who/what you really are

OP has updated the thread !!!!

Tue 08-May-12 20:36:15

ah yes, thanks pendeen :) glad it all worked out ok angelz, is so weird when everyone is pointing and chatting away about the milkman and I'm stood there thinking 'you are all casually joking that I am a bit slutty and devious!'

Thanks mother that was kind of you to say. I was the dark one in a fair family (half siblings all blonde) so did feel left out and weird - even about silly stuff like when doing the saxons and romans at school... but talking is good :)

I once saw a couple on tv, man was of mixed race , the woman white and they had twins one was white one was black.
It can happen dont worry op, just ignore peoples glares as what other people think doesnt matter x

Might want to bump this thread to multiculral families

Rhyan gigs, jade Gooding,kenu reeves all mixed race but all look very very white

I had a friend who had a little boy who was white with red hair and very pale. They then went onoto have twins girls who had asian skin colouring and very dark brown eyes.

They didnt look like brother and sisters or that even they would have the same parents but they did.

Mum is asian and dad was a bit gingery white.

So did you do the DNA test? How did you feel about that?

It would have had a huge effect on my marriage, if his affair hadnt already! Fwiw, my dd is mixed race and very pale, my peruvian friend has the same colouring and loves being with her as people think she is her dd! But she has a mixture of features and it is obvious she is mixed race, colour is just s mall part of it.

Have direct experience of this. I a White and my husband is black. One of my daughters has mocha coloured skin and an Afro. My other daughter is White (though tans easily and doesn't burn) and she has hair that is the same texture as mine, but black and curly. They are just different. Both my children were much lighter when born. Their skin got darker over years and it is not something that happens in weeks or months. If I am out with my you ger daughter then you would never know she was mixed race. They are both beautiful. People have asked me if they have the same father and whether they are both mine...it used to bother me, but I just put it down to ignorance.