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Original poster

Pale mixed race baby raising a few eyebrows......

189 replies

angelz · 05/10/2009 14:28

My ds was born 3 months ago and surprised us all by coming out extremly pale with straight red hair, despite having a black father.

I myself am VERY pale, so found it more amusing than shocking as I know how funny genetics can be.

But lately my partner has said that while he loves our ds he is finding it hard as he cannot see himself, or any of his family in ds.

He has even mentioned a paternity test, and while I know in his heart he knows how ridiculous this is, he says sometimes he can't digest what he sees before his eyes.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?.... will our ds darken, or is it really possible that a mixed race baby can stay this white? Even his little ears have a pinkish hue, and his eyelids are almost see through!

Personally I would never have thought it an issue, but can see why my partner may struggle a little with it, people already have given us a few funny looks when I introduce him as ds's father

OP posts:
MadeInChinaBaby · 08/05/2012 21:32

Yey! Me too, Hedgehog.

angelz, ginger afros are the best Grin.

sashh · 09/05/2012 09:02

I have a friend who is black and said the only thing she was never prepared for was to have a white daughter. She now has 4 white grandchildren.

There are numerous cases of twins where one is white and the other black - there was a TV programme about it.

Let him do a paternity test if he wants. He might be getting some 'stick' from friends / family.

LST · 09/05/2012 09:48

I am very pale, very blonde, blue eyes, have freckles and burn really easily. My DP is Italian and has lovely dark olive colouring and jet black hair and dark green eyes.

We all thought DS was going to be dark to but he was born pale and ginger and his eyes are getting bluer bluer. His hair is now as blonde if not blonder than mine!

crazynanna · 09/05/2012 09:55

My mum is a redhead white woman,and married a black man (my dad) when I was a baby (back in 1964) In 1970,she had my brother,who came out whiter than me,and bald. My mum says that,although she knew it was definitly my dad's child, she was anxious at him coming on to the ward to see him for the 1st time. She said the relief was immense when my dad picked him up and exclaimed "Boy...he looks just like Brother Fred!" Grin

BodaciousTatas · 09/05/2012 10:16

My dd is mixed race. English/indian.

Very dark hair and eyes, skin is light olive but goes ultra dark at the first hint of sun. When she was born she was white than me.

sleeplessinsuburbia · 09/05/2012 10:18

My black DS has blue eyes and pale straight hair. He was very white when born but tanned up a bit!

marge2 · 09/05/2012 10:29

My blue eyed bald blonde cousin's wife is quite dark black. Their two Dss are blonde and blue eyed with olivey skin. I expect their hair will darken as they get older, but they definitely LOOk white. I was horrified by what my cousin-in-law told me happened when she was in hospital just having given birth to her DS1. She passed a group of teenage visitors in the corridor, while pushing her son in one of those see through crib thing, She overheard one of them say - "Oh look there's that black woman with the white baby - GROSS".

I think some men can get very insecure if the baby does not look like them. My ARSE of a husband even gave me a dreadful year when DS2 was born because he didn't look like him, but like me instead...and we are both white with similar colouring. He eventually confesed he didn;t believe our Ds2 was his and that he thought I had had an affair. Dick I FELT like having an affair after that I can tell you!

RubyGates · 09/05/2012 10:38

There were lots of Scottish and Irish slaves or bound servants in the Carribean. It is statistically likly that the the red-haired gene comes from your DH's family.

Cromwell transported lots of Irish as slaves in the 17thC (12,000 of them in fact) . The Scottish ended up there in similar circumstances.

The red-haired gene is historically fairly universal everywhere however, and pops up unexpectedly in many family-trees, from Africa and the Middle East as it can lie dormant for generations.

There is a fascinating family history here:
www.kavanaghfamily.com/articles/2003/20030618jfc.htm

SPsFanjoHarboursDeadCats · 09/05/2012 10:38

My bio dad was of Greek descent so was very tanned with dark hair and dark eyes. My mum is English and very pale with dark hair and dark eyes.

My brother is the double of his dad. He's tanned with the dark hair and eyes. Yet I'm blonde with green eyes with a slight tan. His other daughters are all dark skinned with dark features

HipHopOpotomus · 09/05/2012 10:45

I'm white, DP is black. 2 babies born very white, but looking like their Dad. DD1 is now 4.5 and gets darker all the time.

DD has a friend who is classic blonde fair Scandinavian looking despite being 1/4 black.

BlackAffronted · 09/05/2012 10:49

I used to babysit for a family, the mum was white/blonde, dad was african. They had a DD who had red hair and very pale skin, and a DS who was his dads double, just slightly lighter.

wolvesarejustoldendaydogs · 09/05/2012 11:04

DH and I are both white, and when we were children we both had very blond hair, but for both of us it has darkened to brown now.

Our 3 DCs have white-blond hair. So does our nanny. People are always thinking the children are hers.

Also, I'm in my 40s, nanny is in her early 20s. One day we all had to get a taxi together to an unexpected medical appointment - the taxi driver thought I was my children's grandma. He was very apologetic.

A bit different from your situation, but all sorts of misunderstandings about parentage can happen!

ChocHobNob · 09/05/2012 11:27

I have a sibling with 5 children. She and her partner and dark haired, brown eyed. 2 of their children are dark haired, brown eyed. 2 blonde haired, blue eyed and 1 bright red hair with blue eyes.

They always gets the "what colour hair did the milkman/postman have?" comments.

EssexGurl · 09/05/2012 12:13

My boss had a mixed marriage and both their DD's were born looking very very pale (although no ginger hair). However, as they got older their skin did get darker. So, it might be the case with your baby. I'm sure your DH will be fine!

lopsided · 09/05/2012 12:21

Thanks for the update. I love to hear how things work out. Your son sounds very cute.

RnB · 09/05/2012 12:38

Dp and I are both mixed race (half jamaican/english), both look typically mixed. Imagine our surprise when our daughter was born with white skin and blue eyes! (There is a pic of her on my profile). She looked less mixed than my sons from a former relationship who have a white father.

She is nearly two now and has a hint of colour, as well as fabulous mixed race ringlets :-)

We are expecting another baby now, he could be any shade. I love being mixed race.

BoysWillGrow · 09/05/2012 12:39

I'm mixed race, white British & carribean. My DP is white with ginger hair.

One of my sons is white with ginger hair, green eyes, the other is obviously mixed race, dark skin, brown hair & eyes and the spit of me. :)

Before my second son came around I was often called the nanny.

crazynanna · 09/05/2012 12:46

RnB my dcs' are mixed race white/black carr, and dd1 is married also to a mixed race white/black carr (my lovely SIL)

they have 3 dcs'.
DC1 is very fair with blonde curly hair.and dark brown eyes
DC2 is very dark with tight black hair and blue eyes.
DC3 is the fairest complexion with light brown loose curly hair and green eyes.

All so different!

Dd1 calls her house "The UN" Grin

RnB · 09/05/2012 13:02

How lovely crazynanna :) They sound gorgeous...

crazynanna · 09/05/2012 14:02

They are gorgeous..but I am biased Grin

Longtalljosie · 09/05/2012 14:04

Is your partner black Jamaican? Bet you he is...

feuerandwasser · 09/05/2012 15:02

My niece has a very dark mum and BIL is white....DN is very pale skinned with curly brown hair, just how it works sometimes.

RosieBooBoo · 09/05/2012 15:09

I'm afraid if my DP wanted a paternity test because he was getting teased at work and wasnt sure if he could bond with his son, it would be the end of our relationship.

natwebb79 · 09/05/2012 15:14

My Jamaican (and very dark skinned friend) has twins with a pale blonde man. They were very pale when born and she got sick of 'are you their nanny?'. They're darker now Smile

motherinferior · 09/05/2012 15:16

Refer him to this ...