To be pissed off at the fuss brother in law and life are making for their kid's 1st birthday?

[Jude68]

Their 1st dc and our 2nd dc's were born only two month's apart. When DD2 had her 1st birthday at the end of August my partner didn't want to take a precious day's leave from work for her birthday as he said "she's only 1, she won't care anyway." All we did was get her a cake, sing happy birthday and helped her open her presents in the evening when the grandparents (one set anyway) were there. They live with us anyway so it's not like they had to make the effort to come over.
DP's brother saw him at work and said should he give DP her present or bring it over the following Sunday when they were coming over for lunch anyway...nothing to do with celebrating DC's birthday.
Now for their DC's upcoming big day they are planning a big family outing to a farm (shit choice) and have published a list, like a wedding list where people can choose what to get their daughter from.
Now it's up to them I suppose how they choose to celebrate but it's making me feel pissed off with DP, guilty with myself and sad for DC2 that we didn't make a fuss.
Am I being pathetic? What did you do for 1st birthdays? I know the baby doesn't care but it's showing everyone else how much you love them isn't it?

[Jude68]

You are right. I am feeling guilty and sad that the day passed mostly uneventfully like any other day. I wanted DP to take the day off at the very least. I felt sad about it at the time but now DD2's neice is having a big fuss planned for her and has a printed present list doing the rounds I feel even more upset and sad. I delivered her on my own (not planned), very swift, sudden labour and DP was on his way from work. We were ok but it was scary, shocking and surreal. A year later and we're just pottering around at home for her birthday. I don't know what's wrong with me TBH. I know I'm blaming BIL for something that's nothing to do with him really.

[nancy75]

whats the boy stuff about?

[kittywise]

eh?

[GirlsAreLOud]

It's nothing at all to do with your BIL.

If you feel guilty and sad it's not too late to organise something for your DD. A trip to a farm or an outing somewhere else and a nice meal out just the four of you would be a lovely thing to do.

[thisisyesterday]

she doesn't like boys. or at least, that's the impression we got on this thread

[TeaOneSugar]

thisisyesterday

I do a gift list at christmas, not to send out though.

Mainly it's so I know what to say when aunties and uncles ask what dd wants, but it's also to stop competative grandparenting, otherwise they'll turn up with huge sacks of crap we don't have room for. I use the list to suggest a couple of things of similar value, to each set of gps, seems to work.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

I think it's bad taste to bring up the op's previous posts on an unrelated thread, tbh.
I have disagreed with Jude on another thread but wouldn't dream of pasting that link on an unrelated op.

[scottishmummy]

do unclench.their child up to them.you sound sour

[ScaryFucker]

me neither shiney, I don't have that much spare time ?

what was the gist of the baby's sex thread ?

and is it really relevant to this one ?

[scottishmummy]

dont traipse detritus from one thread to another

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Jude you know yabu. This has nothing to do with your bil and everything to do with your resentment towards your dp.
And if it makes you feel better, I am struggling to recall what we did for dd's first birthday

[Jude68]

Ok, let's just leave it there eh? I am being unreasonable. I suspected I was. Now I've had it confirmed. Goodnight all.

[scottishmummy]

jude you really are a right ticket

[scottishmummy]

jude you really are a right ticket

[MarshaBrady]

You do need to relax about it all.

You love clearly your dd and they love theirs. Their party sounds fine to me not a shit choice at all.

Also not everyone wants to cuddle others' newborns it doesn't mean anything.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

Think jude got an unfair response there, I suspect people's judgement of her is coloured by other threads to which she has contributed.

[thisisyesterday]

oooh who died and left you in charge SM?

[scottishmummy]

what are you chunterring about

[MovingOutOfBlighty]

Sorry, but you sound like a thoroughly unpleasant person about this.

Just because you are not happy (with retrospect) of some aspects of your dcs birthday doesn't mean you should be so snipey ('shit choicd' WTF - its a farm!) about their choices.

Get over yourself. This is so incredibly petty I hope for your sake you grow up a bit so when something of actual tragedy occurs you have some resources at hand.

Sorry, being harsh but have heard today my friends child is not going to live beyone his teens so feel pissed off by petty posts like this. Feel free to disregard.

[ScaryFucker]

I am judging jude on this thread alone (cannot be arsed to read the other one)

and she sounds like terrifically hard work

[Plonker]

thisisyesterday - there's no need to raise the other thread - it's nothing to do with this.

Jude - YABU, but I understand why from what you have said. Why not get your dp to take a day off and spend a lovely day together as a family.

Don't worry about the competetive party bit - you do your thing and let them do theirs