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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be so annoyed at seeing pregnant women smoking.....

177 replies

CakeandFineWine · 14/09/2009 15:56

GGGRRRHH.

Following my miscarriage 2 weeks ago. granted I'm a little raw...

But god it annoys me when I quit smoking before I even starting TTC, I didn't drink a drop, took my folic acid and followed the do's and don'ts of foods to the T.
And still MC'ed
And I see pregnant ladies walking around smoking or drinking in pubs..........

ITS SO UNJUST!!!!!!!

OP posts:
CloudDragon · 14/09/2009 20:05

solidbrass - having worked on a Special care unit, unfortuatly the main known reason for the rise in premature births is cause of women smoking when pregnant.

So they are not only harming their own child but needlessly taking away limited resources from babies that's parents had no blame in their premature birth.

I smoked for 20 years and gave up the day I was found out I was pregnant with DS1. It was fucking hard but it was hardly the biggest sacrifice I have ever had to make. I would never had lived with myself if my child was prem, or had asthma, or low birth-weight or any of the other possible consequences.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:08

gosh over 35bmi is hugely over weight, ideal bmi is between 18 and 25 isn't it? 35 really is very overweight and it was certainly not normal to see a pregnant woman smoking 10 years ago... It wasn't normal 25 years ago when I was born.

victoriascrumptious · 14/09/2009 20:08

Curiosity:-did I just give away the fact that i'm a short arse? lol

victoriascrumptious · 14/09/2009 20:10

Hmm now you've confused me. I'm a size 14 and 5" and only half a stone below the 'obese' bracket

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:11

Oh no! sorry victoria - that was rather dense and rude of me!

victoriascrumptious · 14/09/2009 20:13

No! I'm not offended at all. I'm wondering whether I got the BMI number wrong

Original poster
CakeandFineWine · 14/09/2009 20:14

here here clouddragon. My DD1 was prem due to pre-eclampsia I followed the rules to the T, and was in a room with another young girl whose dd1 was also prem, she went into labour whilst out clubbing and was openly admitting to drinking excessively and taking drugs that night [anger]

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeandFineWine · 14/09/2009 20:14

whoops

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 14/09/2009 20:14

I thought PROM is the major cause of premature births. PROM is often caused by vaginal infections.
Followed by incompetent cervix, shape of the uterus and age.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:15

Yes, I am slightly wrong 19 - 24.9 is ideal, 25- 29.9 overweight, 30+ obese, 40+ seriously obese.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:19

I do think weight issues are slightly different, to me it's a bit like TTC past 40. If you can actually conceive then it bodes well but doesn't exclude an increased risk to mother and baby during pregnancy.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:24

Suppose with all of it it is the attitude that accompanies it that has the biggest effect on how I feel about it. The hospital was repeated last night and I was most upset by the horrible judgy midwife (reminded me of dawn french's character in psychoville) and that seriously obese, smoking teenager who wouldn't have injections to prevent blood clots because her mates had said 'you don't know what's in 'em' and she had a needle phobia but she had loads of piercings. It makes me sad, sad to think how her life is and how her babies will likely be.

SolidGoldBrass · 14/09/2009 20:25

Curiousitykilled: well I concieved when I was 39. Should I have been ordered to terminate the pregnancy due to the risks?

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:31

Yes, solidgoldbrass, that's exactly what I said and meant.

It is like, as in it is similar too. If you are very overweight or underweight the body often stops you conceiving. It is the same as TTC passed 40 because there are increased risk in being over 40, over weight and underweight. It is also the same as TTC as a teenager. Pregnancy, labour and delivery is more risky in all these examples. In all these examples the body will not always be capable of conceiving. These are just medical facts.

I never said seeing somebody TTC after 40 makes me angry. But I have made this comparison before and had the same words put in my mouth.

GreenMonkies · 14/09/2009 20:31

YANBU

Considering you can get nicotine replacement therapy free on prescription when you are pregnant (and for 12 months after) I find it utterly astounding that any woman smokes when pregnant. There are several thousand toxic chemicals in cigarettes, not just nicotine, and to expose your unborn child to this risk is just irresponsible and selfish. Cravings are no excuse, get some gum or patches!!!

And my deepest sympathies to those ladies who have lost babies, seeing pregnant women smoke must be all the harder for you.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:32

*to

TheBalladofGayTony · 14/09/2009 20:33

yanbu - pregnant women who smoke, for example, are twats

mosschops30 · 14/09/2009 20:34

It does make me [angry}

I am a smoker, and I enjoy it! However when I am pg I give up straight away and dont start again until I want to after the baby has been born (normally about 6 weeks)

No one can understand how I can give up for 9 months at a time and then go back to it, but whilst my baby is growing inside me then I have a responsibility to make everything right for my baby.
When Im not pg my body is my own again and I can buse it as I see fit.

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 20:39

SGB you are right - people have the right to DO WHAT THEY WANT and I guess that just means some people are SELFISH F*CKERS who cant deal with giving up something they like for the sake of not taking a chance on the health of their baby.

Sure it might be fine ... but it might kill them

Its not about womens rights, and I'm not suggesting it should be made law, its just about having abit of decency and showing some common sense.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 20:42

*past

God my spelling brain is going down the tubes!

LittleMissBliss · 14/09/2009 20:44

YANBU.

flopalong · 14/09/2009 20:50

FGS What about the womans right?? What a load of rubbish, what about the babies right to have all the oxygen it can get, and the babies right NOT to smoke. I smoked untill 4 weeks ago but gave up when I was trying for my first and second, DC3 was a bit of a surprise but I gave up the day I found out I was preg with him. I only smoked at night and outside beacuse I have children in my house all the time, IMO its abusive to knowingly put yours or other children at risk, everyone knows how harmful smoking is your putting them at risk of future illness or premature illness. Its not the same as being fat, it's 9 months sorry 40 weeks of your life (untill your next) people can always take it up again after the baby is born if they must(outside with a smoking jacket and not holding baby for 30mins of course, or is it longer ? lol).
I gave up because I want to be able to give my children all of myself for as long as possible, not a wheesy mum who is busy smoking outside. Smoking isn't nessasary to your life, it isn't that bad giving up, its staying stopped thats hard, I keep feeling jealous of people I see smoking and want to snatch their fag out their hands, how sad is that lol

mamadiva · 14/09/2009 20:52

I am a smoker and managed to give up from the day I found out I was pregnant until DS was almost 2

I know my mum has smoked through all 4 of her pregnancies and when she was pregnant with twins in 2005 she thought about giving up and asked her doctor for patches but she was told it would be better for her and the babies if she just cut down on her intake rather than actually giving up !

I do hate seeing peopl smoke through pregnancy though just makes me shudder thinking what it does...

shockers · 14/09/2009 21:07

I am so sorry for your loss. I completely agree and YANBU.
I have 2 adopted children who suffered the effects of a 60-a-day habit whilst in the womb... my daughter also has feotal alcohol syndrome. Some women just do not realise the ongoing misery their selfishness can cause... it's a lottery with their unborn baby's health and it's just not worth the risk.

muddle78 · 14/09/2009 21:42

yabu. my first son was stillborn. i had quit smoking and had done everything right. when they told me he had died and i was waiting for labour to begin i smoked incessantly in the hospital grounds.

i am pregnant and i am smoking. i have cut down hugely. i am not proud of this but for me pregnancy and outcome ie. baby dont equate easily and it took all the will power i had to quit for my first boy to no avail. he had a undetected genetic disorder and i remember thinking that ' i might as well have smoked the whole pregnancy'. there is no one who has the right to judge me. Even if you have suffered a stillbirth you still have not walked in my shoes. we are all different in our coping abilities/ life experiences etc. it took me 4 years to be mentally/ emotionally stable enough to ttc for this baby. i took another 2 years ttc to become pregnant. during the last 2 years ttc i tried to quit but just couldn't get the motivation.

You dont know who i am. i am perhaps that pg woman that you want to shake? that you feel superior to/ angry with?

op. no attack on you just some of the self-rightious replies got my goat!. i am sorry for your loss.