to think it's high time somebody started an "I'm an imperfect mother" thread on here? Jeeez the number of perfectly perfect mums on here atm is quite scary

[emkana]

Okay I'll start

I'm not a perfect mother because

I lose my temper
I let them watch x factor and the cube on a Saturday night, and don't even read them a bedtime story after
I've taken them out of school for holidays

[DeFluffMyFanjo]

HS - I get your point I think. Although I would have thought that they are more likely to swear if their parents do. I think we can just agree to disagree maybe?

I've sent DP out for cake

[Jude68]

DeFluffwhatever, you do not have an argument. Only a load of boring, sanctimonious old twaddle that is quite frankly irritating to read.
Am amazed this thread still has legs. Am going to piss off to watch telly now.
There's got to be something more interesting than arguing the toss with a bunch of smug twats like you lot.

[pingapengin]

Im dizzy this has gone round so many times..

[DeFluffMyFanjo]

Jude - perhaps if you swore less you could string together an actual, you know, point of view? Debate rather than just swear/toss insults? I know its a novel idea...

[Jude68]

I have made my point...several pages back AND without swearing.
Am quite reasonably now quite fucked off with being told I'm a shite parent when I know I'm not.

[DeFluffMyFanjo]

Shiney - can you not go on some more, ahem, interesting dates? Then you could start a thread which would keep me amused for days and I could tear myself away from this one?

Please??

[Quattrocento]

I don't think it's possible to reconcile these two points of view:

1. "It is notr an indication of bad parenting. It's just a fucking bad day where (often for a number of reasons) our child has pushed us over the edge.

Some of the people on here are talking out of their sanctimonious, judgmental big fat arses."

1. "IT IS BAD PARENTING TO CALL YOUR CHILD A 'FUCKING SHIT / BITCH' ETC ETC"

Either you think of it as bad parenting, or you don't. There isn't a middle ground. The thread's just going around in a loop now.

[DeFluffMyFanjo]

Will go have a look now thank you. Plus DP has brought back mint thins! Yay!

[roseability]

My adoptive mother

Hardly ever shouted at me and certainly never swore

Never smacked me

Was at home everyday I got home from school and had a home cooked meal on the table every night

I have been in counselling and on ADs due to her lies and manipulation and general toxicity

She once said in a cold and calculated tone that she hated me and wished I had never been born. No she didn't do anger, but she didn't do emotions generally

If a FFS had slipped out in a moment of frustration but she had expressed her love for me in a proper manner, I would be very, very grateful

[IWantAChickAndADuck]

I'm just curious - and sorry if I'm stirring this up again - but I am genuinley interested in the answer.. I think someone, can't find it again to see who, has already asked this but got no response...

How will you react (to the people that swear at/around/in front of their children) when they to you to f*ck off?

[IWantAChickAndADuck]

*that should be when they tell you

I've had a long day

[NotanOtter]

roseability and kisses because i know what that is like

my mother the one who chose to get pregnant and give birth to me hoping i was a boy once told me she would die for each of my sisters but for me she would 'watch me go' ( some weird fantasy she had about the gestapo!)

her loss

I AGREEE whole heartedly that the odd parental failing is fine 'to err is human' afterall

[Jude68]

Thank you. Finally some sensible posters with a bit of perspective.

[IWantAChickAndADuck]

?

[Jude68]

It depends WHY my child told me to fuck off. That would influence my reaction to it.

[random]

Jude I was always on your side ...just cba to get into the row on here...

[IWantAChickAndADuck]

okaaaay

[Jude68]

I have been angered by this thread because every single day I start the day trying really hard to be consistent, patient, interested, kind etc etc with my very young children. They are 2.5 and just over 12 months old. I had them late in life (37 with first one) after being a carefree singleton for masny years..one who mixed with and joined in with others who swore a lot. Due to financial and personal reasons I am a SAHM...I would prefer not to be, at least not full time. Neither of my kids are in any form of pre-school/nursery and my partner works long hours. Add no family help to the mix and I struggle. I really struggle some days and am prone to depression which is not easy when occupying bored, lively, naughty toddlers for hours on end. If the odd FFS or fucking bollocks slips out then so be it...I am fucking doing my best. That's good enough for me.

[random]

Thats good enough for me ...I've had 3 lots of teenage years to contend with ...vodka helped a lot

[Jude68]

yup...should have added that I'm a little too fond of red wine too almost every night...ok, not the best way to wind down after a tiring, boring, fustrating day but hey, it works!

[badi]

Hello, i am only responding to this last post and not the whole thread because i haven't read it properly (although belittling your children and swearing at them on a consistent basis is obviously pretty nasty and not to be condoned). Jude, i think it's pretty tough being stuck at home when it's not through choice and swearing in the vicinity of your children because you are angry/frustrated with your situation rather than because you 'hate' your children and wish to put them down isn't tantamount to being an evil mother. I was a pretty poisonous teenager and my mum said some choice things to me but we get on brilliantly now, she's endlessly supportive of me and i have always felt completely loved by her (despite having the sharp end of her tongue on several occasions). I am sure you are lashing out and swearing more because you are feeling frustrated and pissed off at being judged. take up running, works for me (reluctant SAHM too after being PT working mum).