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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be incredibly irritated by the term 'lady' partuculalry when used by one woman about another.

155 replies

moondog · 08/09/2009 22:17

So faux genteel.
It's woman.
Ok?

OP posts:
Hassled · 08/09/2009 22:19

No no no. I can be a lady if I want to be. What did my mother (nearly) burn her bra for if not the right to call ourselves whatever the hell we want? Genteel, bollocks. If I want to live in an imaginary Austenian world, I bloody will.

Fruitbeard · 08/09/2009 22:20

YABU.

It's polite.

I always refer to other women as 'lady' to DD ie 'mind that lady, DD!' when she's running along not looking where she's going.

I've never had anyone do anything but smile at me for this as they LIKE being referred to a lady. As far as I'm concerned all women are ladies until they prove themselves otherwise.

Now men saying 'she's my lady'(or special lady, that's particularly boaktastic), that's ewww...

SixtyFootDoll · 08/09/2009 22:21

I like lady but prefer to cal myself and my friends 'girls' Ha!!

moondog · 08/09/2009 22:22

It's not classy enough to be Austenian.

It belongs to a world of spotting bananas, crochet cushion covers and PG Tips.

OP posts:
Katisha · 08/09/2009 22:23

I think it sounds much politer when you are bellowing "Mind that lady" at your children.
I would feel a bit affronted to be called "that woman" by someone else. "That lady" I can cope with.

pasturesnew · 08/09/2009 22:25

agree with Katisha.

Hassled · 08/09/2009 22:25

Spotting bananas? What? What have the bananas ever done for us?

Anne Elliot was a lady. She wasn't a woman.

ShellingPeas · 08/09/2009 22:27

I can see you point as males are rarely referred to as 'gentlemen'.

But it does sound a little odd to say 'give the money to the woman' rather than 'to the lady'.

Fruitbeard · 08/09/2009 22:27

Never even seen a crochet cushion cover, but all women are ladies as far as I'm concerned.

Have you never heard that courtesy costs nothing, moondog?

Ponders · 08/09/2009 22:28

Oh god, lady is so genteel these days!!!

(Or else David Walliams in a crinoline)

Katisha · 08/09/2009 22:28

But while I'm here, referring to a man as "that gentleman" is unbearably twee.

I am right.

Fruitbeard · 08/09/2009 22:29

Ooh, and I refer to all random men as 'gentlemen' (beginning to feel like a refugee from a Georgette Heyer novel right now...) - it makes most (male) pensioner's eyes light up with pleasure to be referred to as such.

Fruitbeard · 08/09/2009 22:30

Ok, so now I'm twee?

Well, it makes my world a happier, more courteous place, so bloody sod the lot of you!

Ponders · 08/09/2009 22:30

And as far as "mind out for that lady!" goes I would always just have said "look where you're going!"

Katisha · 08/09/2009 22:30

Oh dear...

Ponders · 08/09/2009 22:31

random very elderly men might like being referred to as "gentleman" but I don't think most men under the age of about 70 would appreciate it

pasturesnew · 08/09/2009 22:32

agree with Katisha again although poss. not the "unbearable"

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 22:32

Hassled: I used to have a copy of a Punch cartoon, in which a lady (definitely) in empire-line frock and bonnet is being addressed by a literary agent: 'The plot's great, Miss Austen, but the effing and blinding will have to go'. She probably replies, 'Genteel, bollocks' .

Katisha · 08/09/2009 22:32

All right I take back "unbearable"!

Hassled · 08/09/2009 22:34

You see, if we were all just inside an Austen novel this would be so much easier. Moondog would be wrong, Fruitbeard and I would be right.

Hassled · 08/09/2009 22:35

Pyrocathanthus - that's made my night

Hassled · 08/09/2009 22:36

Pyrocanthus, sorry.

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 22:38

I aim to please.

jemart · 08/09/2009 22:39

I will join Fruitbeard in twee crochet cushion land (I have seen them in the wild on my grandmothers sofa.....)
You be plain "woman" if you like moondog, I would be pleased to be referred to as a "lady"

Fruitbeard · 08/09/2009 22:41

Moondog IS wrong, Hassled.

You and I are right