to be incredibly irritated by the term 'lady' partuculalry when used by one woman about another.

[moondog]

So faux genteel.
It's woman.
Ok?

I always say 'lady' as in 'mind that lady' but never on MN would refer collectivley to female posters as 'ladys' or 'girls' as that would be terriby patronising and sexist I feel. This is so complicated.

A man did once say to me 'thats no lady, that my wife!' when I refered to her as a lady.

Think the pedants would get you first for "ladys", ABD.

I have never been able to spell.

Can't believe I missed this thread. I hate hate hate it when people use 'lady' - as others have said, it suggests that 'woman' is pejorative, but why on earth should it be.

And I could have been a lady, but back in the dim and distant when a Lord proposed to me I said I'd rather be a dame. So there

There ain't nothing like a dame.

Should we abolish 'ladies and gentlemen...' then as an introduction and have 'men and women, boys and girls...etc.' at the Pantomime or some such thing .

Only one step away from 'comrades' IMO !

oh no! This offends people?

Precisely! Why should 'woman' sound or be rude? That's why 'lady' should be kept for the vicar's wife IMO

haven't read all of thread but to op YABU, sorry for sounding rude but I think you need to get over yourself a bit.

I hate being called a lady - sounds like the toilets to me!

And like others on this thread I don't feel I have particularly lady-like qualities & don't aspire to them either!

I'm a woman and insist on being referred to as such. I also stay at home and enjoy baking bread, knitting and gardening, but as a Feminist I have a right to do all these things and not be patronised for it. Fortunately my husband is a feminist too!

Incidentally I'm teaching my 17month old daughter to refer to anonymous women "out there" as... woman! No lady for me...

Minx - you might want to take your phrasing over to this thread

Always 'lady' and 'gentleman' to dd's when they are trying to crawl between legs/climb in trolley of/generally being a PITA to said 'ladies' or 'gentlemens' in the supermarket.

It makes no difference if they are pensioners or emo boys in eyeliner (admittedly they do look a little taken aback to be referred to as gentlemen), it just seems polite. It also makes it a little bit less embarrassing when dd2 says in a loud voice, "Mummy why has that gentleman got funny hair and glasses".

I don't think that the word woman (or man) is pejorative, but it just seems impolite to use either when referring to a stranger.

"And like others on this thread I don't feel I have particularly lady-like qualities & don't aspire to them either!
"
Sums up the anti-lady camp rather well, doesn't it .

If I met someone who was offended by being called a lady and started banging on about feminism I'd think they were a bit of a fruit loop tbh and avoid them in future.

more important things and all that.....

I also don't like "lady" instead of woman. I find that it forces me into a Stepford Wife kind of presence, where I have to dash off to make my husband a martini and be ladylike. It is a matter of opinion and personal taste but it really irritates me on the other hand to see comments such as minxofmancunia. Maybe you'd like all your equality privileges taken back then? Like when in the sixties a woman could not even buy property without a guardian or husband giving permission?
This is what Hilary Mantel has to say

"very annoyingly, you get women nowadays who are educated and have got on in their professions, saying, 'Oh, but I'm not a feminist.'" Anger suffuses her face, an intensity almost indecent. "The only reason they can say that is that they're standing on the shoulders of their mothers, who fought these battles, I think for a woman to say 'I'm not a feminist' is [like] a lamb joining the slaughterer's guild. It's just empty-headed and stupid."

www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2009/sep/12/hilary-mantel-booker-prize-interview

ooops, I clearly haven't mastered italics

Interesting thread.

I stand on the side that females are girls till they reach 18 and then we are women. Have heard men at work use the term 'ladies' in the most inappropriate, patronising way. It's much more diffcult to use the word women in a patronising manner.

I don't mind being referred to as a lady.

What I really dislike is anyone who calls a woman a girl. You wouldn't call a grown man a boy.

I've heard people refer to 'their woman' in just as patronizing way as 'their lady' etc.

Your post makes me quite angry actually, Nellykats, as I am a feminist. I really fail to see what that quote has to do with using lady or gentleman as a polite way to refer to people who I don't know but have to talk about in a polite way.

I suppose I would describe somebody as a woman, as in "I was talking to a woman about...", but I would use the more polite "lady" in situations like "Give the money to the lady" etc.

MaryMotherOfCheeses, I too have used "comrade" quite un-selfconsciously in my youth...

ha ha nellycats who said I'm not a feminist??? I certainly didn't, you made that assumption from my post.

You don't know my opinion on workplace issues, pornography, protitution, childcare etc do you?????? You haven't got a clue what literature I've read or the experiences I've had.

You can be a feminist without getting your knickers in a twist about the connotations of the word "lady". To get so up in arms about something which imo trivialises what the real issues re fminism and equality are is a waste of time. I also like to think I have a sense of humour, something which ledns itself to taking things with a pinch of salt when appropriate like if someone referred to me politely as a "lady".

My dd refers to ladies and to girls depending on their age, it's polite and it's what she's been taught. From what i can gather so have all the other girls in her group at nursery. All of whose mothers are professional degree educated women.

To imply that just because wedeem this an acceptable manner in which to address other females is "anti-feminist" is presumptous and insulting.

My apologies then minxofmancunia, I noticed in your post "banging on about feminism" and "get over yourself" so the impression I got was that you don't like feminism arguments in general. Thank you for clarifying your position. Like I said earlier, it's a matter of taste whether one likes lady or not, it really depends on circumstances and I don't blindly object to it. I also would like my son to call people gentlemen and ladies, but I think it's often used in a patronizing way to put us in our place, in a world of men and laaaadies.

hazeyjane, as I wrote to minxofmancunia, I understood her comment If I met someone who was offended by being called a lady and started banging on about feminism I'd think they were a bit of a fruit loop tbh and avoid them in future as anti-feminist and said I don't like that. She corrected me and I said sorry.
I didn't say that to use "lady" is wrong, I referred to Mantel's words regarding some womens' pride on being non feminists . Are you still angry?

still crap with italics, damn!