that going on a night out 4 days after giving birth is a bit OTT?

[mears]

Wearing mini skirt and thigh boots and baby over an hour away at granny's overnight?

Would you?

skihorse- no one is saying that mothers can never do anything for themselves again! We are talking about leaving a 4 day old baby overnight with someone else! That is completely different and I think it's odd from my own personal experience.

good for you if you feel up to going out 4 days after!! i certainly did not feel up to anything!! i could hardly walk!!

Enjoy yourself, relax, think you might derserve it

My first night out was when My DS was 3 weeks old and i could only manage couple of hours.
i am off out for my 2nd night out on thurs with my girls and my DS is 6 weeks old. Think this time will be alot more enjoyable.

I wouldn't, because I doubt I'd have been able to stop sobbing long enough to apply make up

but I don't think there's anything morally wrong with it. How many men go out days (or hours!) after the birth of their child?

I think if you are physically up to it, you've as much right to a night out as the father has!

And I know that in this case the grandmother had the baby, but it's worth remembering that the father is as capable of looking after the baby as the mother is! And it's best to get that sorted from day 1!

also bare in mind all babies are different. I would not have left mine at that age as i did not know him myself let alone expect someone else to cope with a new born.

Now i know what he is like, what makes him happy, he has a routine, so i can pass on this information to who ever looks after him.

But how old is ok to leave them for then?

DS1 was 3 weeks old when I left him with my mum and dad....I went out at 2 in the afternoon and did not return until 10am the next day. Everyone knew I was going to be gone this amount of time because I was off to the Reading Festival...had been planned because his fathers band had a spot.

DS2 is 23m and I have only ever left him long enough to go to the shop (5 minutes away) and back...it takes me a total of 10 minutes to be back lol.

The difference with me is when i had DS1 i was 23 still wanted to go out with friends etc..with DS2 I was 32 and am more than happy to stay at home and not go partying night after night.

She can do what she wants, but I don't agree with it.

I couldn't have left my precious newborn and I do think there is a something to be said for a new baby having his/her parents around for the very early days. Can we not even give newborns that? As others have said it would be the distance and length of time away from the newborn that would make me

Exactly MIA. Surely a new mum (and dad) can sacrifice her social life for a few weeks for the sake of bonding with her newborn. I think it is odd because I couldn't have been apart from my babies at that age. I really wanted to get to know them and felt that this was the best thing for them too. Would also expect a new dad to want to be at home with his wife/ partner and baby at this stage too.

I remember when I was pg with Dd1 my stepfather telling me about his latest night out.
He had bumped into a woman in the pub who had had her baby that morning and left it with relatives while she went out!'

Well I went out for a meal with friends after 5 days (no I wasn't in thighboots & mini; with crumpet legs, lard-arse & jelly belly....I don't think so ) - my H & mother looked after DD.

An eve. out is just that....an eve. out. How is an eve. out going to stop you bonding?

Why are women 'not allowed' to do diddly squat once they have had a baby? If you feel well enough, if you have appropriate carers (in this case her mother) and if, as a bonus, you are able to carry off thigh boots & mini - then bloody good luck!!!

luby she left the baby with her own mother right? Then I'm going to jump the gun here and assume that she felt the child's grandmother probably would not kill the baby.

secretsquirrel If I ever have a day in my life where upon I feel I can carry off thigh boots and a mini I will drop everything... I don't care if I'm halfway through labour or transplanting a liver. I'm downing tools and getting on that podium!

skihorse, as parents surely we are working towards more than just not killing our children?

though I know with a newborn, it can feel like that is the main priority at times

Ski horse - never mind all this malarkey (tries on her ski gear cos that's all I can get my crumpet legs into...even now DD is 5!!!), I need to pick your brains about Ski-ing....I'm taking DD ski-ing for the first time next April (Canada) - any advise?? I guess we should really start a new thread for this, eh?

Back to this thread....(I was nearly 43 when I had dd you know-well the days of me in thigh boots & mini are so first time around!) - I could well be that grandmother

squirrel take it to the ski forum in travel. I'd be glad to help.

secretsquirrel I guess the difference is you went out for a couple of hours, not overnight?

skihorse, I didn't realise this thread had anything to do with grandmothers killing babies! .
Must admit, I have felt like doing it a few times to my (v adorable) older two children

Skihorse - have started another thread (ski-ing)as suggested.....

Loobylu3........NOOOOOO - it hasn't! I don't understand where you got that idea from? Ski-horse means that the new mum felt that her mum would be fine to look after her newborn...that she wasn't some clueless, feckless numpty!!!

squirrel- of course! I'm afraid I was being a tiny bit sarcastic - just thought it was a silly thing for her to say as I hope we would all aspire to higher standards than leaving our newborns with people who my put them at risk. Surely that goes without saying!!

looby My point was that the woman in question left her child with the grandmother - so I really am like "wtf? - don't you trust your own mother with your child?"

I was most definitely being tongue-in-cheek - some people take it all a bit seriously though. You advertise Ian Huntley's babysitting service once...

I couldn't work up the energy to judge, to be honest.

Mini skirts 4 days post birth is impressive, though.

Nappyaddict.....would've been overnight if I'd've pulled the lush barman (joke joke! )

Yes I know that mine was a couple of hours (4 1/2 in fact!) but I still think that if she felt happy about it then that's her business.

The thigh boots & mini just tops off a very 'judgemental scenario'....one that smacks of irresponsible behaviour....oooh the DM would just Love This.

Well, we had a dinner party the day I got home from hospital (so 4 days afterwards). But that was at my home, with baby there and friends bringing most of the dinner.

Hmmm. I wouldn't judge her for wanting to do it, but it makes me sad.

I suppose some people don't have a strong instinct to keep their babies close to them. I wonder why that is, and what (if any) implications it has for her ongoing relationship with her baby.

sad?why?she isn't abandoning her baby or undermining bonding/attachment -she is having a night out. i don't think melaine klein would be ringing her hands

how galling to infer she doesnt have strong mothering instincy or want to keep her baby close?

this insidious judging and belief that a mum must have her baby strapped to her 24/7 is quite disempowering

being mum and having a life/night out are not mutually exclusive

I agree, scottishmummy.

Just because she is not with her baby 24/7 does not mean she will be unable to bond or have problems in her ongoing relationship with her child.

As I said in my previous post,I left dd with dh during the first few weeks, durign the day, not overnight. I really didn't feel that compulsion to be with her all the time that other people do. And I've read lots of posts on MN by people who didn't instantly bond with their dc.

You cannot infer/assume it will affect the long-term bond. Dd is now nearly 2 and I love her beyond what I thought possible.