that going on a night out 4 days after giving birth is a bit OTT?

[mears]

Wearing mini skirt and thigh boots and baby over an hour away at granny's overnight?

Would you?

or t-shirt even

I would judge, I'm afraid - I really would. It's not even a case of being a bit about someone fitting into a miniskirt and not bleeding copiously; I just can't understand why anyone would want to go out clubbing or whatever when you've got a 4 day old. Some women's priorities are fucked up. I mean, why bother having a baby in the first place if going out clubbing and drinking is clearly so important to you. And I don't buy all that about it being OK if you're young either.

It's wrong - it just is!

LOL Piffle. The boots would have funnelled any "overflow" away nicely though.

TryHarder - having a baby doesnt mean that you can NEVER leave them...... and for one night? hardly crime of the century.

aha so dooit and I have divined a perfectly legitimate and right on ingenius reason for thigh high boots post natally. (join me on dragons den with new product launch dooit?)

dontthink tryharder is saying you can NEVER leave them, but like me, is wondering why you would WANT to at 4 days old, I think anyway.

For the record, I have left my kids with my mother and gone out clubbing, I am 26 and enjoy it, but once my babes were more around the 4 month mark, not 4 day mark. At 4 days, I wanted to be the one looking after them.

There's no mention of getting rip roaringly drunk in the OP. Just the outfit. Making a few assumptions here. But then, this IS the Judgey Cokey.

exactly ladyoftheflowers

But that's just me.... and I have been told I am 'Mumsy' pmsl

since when did postnatl=confinement and drab clothing?

goodness me a new mum goes out,makes adequqte provision hardly neglect

good for her

since when was motherhood an all subsuming state where you lose previous self and don't go out

boots and a mini.im jealous i spent weeks in dressing gown and pj before a friend said put some make up on,make an effort. she was right i was slobbing out

always been well groomed before being a mum no different being mum

takes 5min to apply some tinted moisturiser,blusher and mascara.no it didn't hide the dark rings from up all the time but made me feel better and if going out makes this mum feel better- good for her

Good luck to the female in question.

I have never heard of 'Thou shalt not tart thy self up 4 days after delivering sprog' and hope I never do.

Get over yourself and get on with your own life without feeling the need to judge someone elses.

lol

Somebody I know did this.

I was surprised, it's not for me but her baby was with her DP and if that was fine for them, then it's their choice.

My mum had DS overnight when he was 15 days old. She was about 20-30 minutes away though not an hour. I wore jeans and a tshirt as it was to a BBQ not out clubbing. Oh and I refused the drugs I was offered cos I was now a responsible mother [halo emoticon]

I'm not saying at all that you should never go out when you have a baby - I went out at least once a week when I had DS1 from when he was about 4-5 months old.

But with both of mine in the early days, there was no way physically that I could have left them. I remember the nurses taking DS1 away from in hospital to try and give me a break and me getting up and shuffling off down the ward with tears streaming down my face going to find him. Also remember nipping to Morrisons without DS2 when he was about a week old, just to get a couple of items and then having a sort of silent meltdown in the supermarket because there were massive queues at the checkout and I could sort of picture DS2 crying for me and I couldnt get back to him. I imagine these feelings are normal maternal instincts.

I do not see how you could enjoy a night out when your baby is 4 days old and an hour away. I honestly don't think that's normal and I would question someone's maternal instinct who thought it was alright or acceptable. I'm not talking about a quick trip to the pub by the way, 10 minutes away from home before anyone says that. Am I being judgmental? Yeah I am and it's none of my business etc etc but our opinions were asked...

I couldn't do it, but the fact that someone else could fills me with admiration.
My money would be on her being young and resilient, some individuals bounce back hours after birth. Envious of her recovery, maybe I would be!
Did she look good in the outfit though?

I was still in hospital 4 days after DD was born!

But YABU. Her baby. If she had the energy, the inclination and some-one to look after her baby, completely up to her and none of your business.

And wtf does her wearing a mini skirt having anything to do with it? Does it matter what she wears going after a baby? Or are you suggesting she needs to wear a long bag type outfit now? Amazed she could fit in it!

I was on a ward after having DS1 with a lady who nipped home a few times to do the 'deed' with her DP. She'd just had twins . They were her DC3&4, and she was in her very early 20's.

Also, in the bed opposite me was a girl in her teens, who had the flattest tummy in the world days after giving birth, and was walking around fine. I felt very in my jelly belly post c/s state.

I was having a good day if I'd managed to get out of my dressing gown and have a shower by the time DH got home from work at that point so I'm not sure that I could have strutted around a club 4 days after giving birth. Each to their own, though.

Maybe she doesn't have that "can't be away from my newborn" feeling that posters are talking about. I didn't have it with dd. I loved her and thought she was gorgeous and all that but it took a while to really bond with her and I quite happily left her with dh to go out in the first few weeks (but to the library and shops, not out at night - I was too knackered and preferred to sleep!). I didn't have that almost physical pull you feel.

It was only after a few weeks that the "I need to be close to my baby" feelings kicked in for me. Perhaps it's the same for her?

Yeahbut I say, stay in your dressing gown as long as you need to!

Mears if she is your friend then this person needs your support, the baby is with a granny. Each to their own.

But ... I still shudder about the time (and I was a teenager) I got tickets and took my wonderful sister to a rock concert, when she had a 5 day old baby!

It was madness, on my part but I convinced her and the family it would be fun.The baby was with her DH but the separation anxiety caused was horrible for her and I felt terrible too, after nearly 2 hours we could not leave the concert early enough to get back to the bub and then got stuck in traffic.

I just wonder...would anyone judge if this lady's DP had gone out when baby was four days old?
No, I wouldn't have gone out then, because I was exhausted, bleeding heavily, had cracked nipples and couldn't bear to be away from my DD. But now she's 10 weeks MIL takes her for a few hours once a week, and I go out on a night every 3/4 weeks. For me, this is quite enough. But if baby is with someone responsiblr, and mum wants to go out, that's her business.

I'll admit I find this odd. Physically, I wouldn't have managed it (no-one wants to go out clubbing with someone who is dead on their feet, bleeding and crying profusely) and I wouldn't have wanted to. I didn't leave DD with anyone else 'til she was about 6 weeks old and that was only to go swimming for an hour. She screamed and rooted the whole time so it was not a good experience for anyone. I didn't leave either child overnight until a year old.

IMO, the first few days (at least) is a time to be a bit child-centred, rather than mum-centred so, I definitely can't identify with this mum but each to their own.

Personally, I think it's v odd to want to leave your newborn with someone else at a few days old (especially overnight). I felt so closely bonded to mine when they were tiny but obviously not everyone else feels the same. Surely, if you want to have a baby, the clubbing or whatever can be put on hold for a few weeks?

YABU

It's nobody's business but her own.

I have many friends who were up and out skiing days after giving birth - one skiied at 5 days post c-section... don't ask me how!

I abhor this unwritten rule which dictates post-conception you must dedicate your life to your children - and woe betide any woman who ever does anything for herself again.