that going on a night out 4 days after giving birth is a bit OTT?

[mears]

Wearing mini skirt and thigh boots and baby over an hour away at granny's overnight?

Would you?

Thanks malung. A wee girl.

Ceolas How lovely to have a new baby daughter.
Does she have a name yet?
I assume you won't be out on the razzle tonight.
Many many congratulations.
Wishing a long and happy life for your new baby. Shares a birthday with my DH

Congratulations Ceolas to you & your wee girl .

I was in shock for about 6 months after the birth of my first child.

The shock factor took a shorter time to wear off after subsequent births but I still couldn't have gone out & left my babies 4 days after birth.

I'm not judging any woman who is able to though - I'm full of amazement really.

At day 4 all i wanted to do with mine was cuddle and feed them whilst dp brought lovely meals to me on the sofa! Makes me realise that actually i am very lucky to have been able to enjoy and love my babies so much when they were tiny. Perhaps the mother you talk of is depressed/in denial/did not want a child? Either way i feel sorry for her.

My goodness this thread has been busy since I have been away. Congratulations Ceolas

I am surprised by how seriously some posters have taken this thread too. The person in queation in not a friend of mine (thank goodness I hear you cry) so is therefore not in need of support from me as suggested earlier in the thread.

The clothes themselves are a red herring - I was just starting a flippant thread TBH.

The baby being away overnight, over an hour away with granny is just something I could not have done at less than a week old. I am sure granny is perfectly competent.

The majority on the thread appear to agree with my view but it is definitely up to the mother and no-one else's business.

I do not think that there will be attachment issues - the baby is probably happily attached to his granny (ducks).

this recurrent judging and quasi diagnostics is appalling. this immediate assumption that if someone deviates from social norms they must be mentally ill?shameful and judgey and says more about those who say it than the new mum herself.

how dare anyone cast aspersions and talk of being a poor mum and speculate wildly about post natal depression-get a grip some of you.all this oh No not i ..i am too nurturing/maternal/saintly to go out

how the hell does anyone know her motives for wanting to go out?i don't but i defend her right to do it.autonomy and self volition and all that.

so she is doing it differently to the majority,doesn't necessarily make her a bad un

It's not the end of the world is it?

I was in the pub with my mates 2 days before DS1 was born. I would probably have been there a few days after but for the fact I had no-one to babysit.

I was wearing also my pre-pregnancy clothes stright after DS1 was born.

Judge me all you like.

I couldn't sit around doing nothing being waited on because I was (& now am again) a single parent. If I wanted anything, I had to do it myself right from day 1. And to be honest, even when I had DS2, my Ex never lifted a finger, went to work as soon as he'd brought us home from hospital, and to football all day the day after.

Sadly not everyone has the happy family life where you all sit round with a rosy glow cooing over the family's latest addition. If you haven't got - or don't want - that, and would prefer to go out once in a while, so be it.

I went out 4 days after giving birth - not in mini skirt more like a stretchy maternity dress. It was a pre arranged (and pre paid) Xmas do. I managed 1 glass of wine and lasted until 9pm before I was falling asleep. I thought I was superwoman after birth and hated the idea of wasting money, plus it was a nice meal I didn't have to cook.

I don't agree with the double standards thing.
I'd be at a man wanting to leave his newborn DC as well

although this woman does make a mockery of my panic over being invited for a family meal (with DCs) 12 days after my due date! By then I might just be able to get into my smaller maternity trousers again and might ditch the slippers for shoes

LSPB - at 12 days past due date you may well still have baby on board!

exactly! Which is why I felt that IWNBU at suggesting to MIL that we might not be able to make it!
Her reply was "oh I'm sure the baby will have arrived by then"

lspb - at your mil, mear's post had red herrings in it, so was partly fantasy, are you sure your mil was for real?

snapple - my post was for real. It was just that I was more concerned about the separation from the baby rather than the attire!

i don't think melanie klein would worry about a few hours away affecting attachment. nor should we

so if at 4days post birth she had left baby to attend church or other visit a relative would that be ok. is it the fact that she had the temerity to go out drinking and attired in those clothes

how very dare she
what next..talking about going back to work i expect

oh ok, so the baby is safe and well and with the granny, but it was only the attire added in, why to paint a certain picture of the mum?? to invite judgement?? to attract more posters ??

clearly to add an embellished image of a wearing strumpet

this is a really shitty judgy post

that should read embellished post aboutboot wearing strumpet

I started this post just for a bit of fun really - isn't that what the 'am I being unreasonable' posts are all about? You know that you are being judgemental but it isn't being taken too seriously?

I am really surprised how seriously some of the responders are taking this.

yes aibu does invite a strong response,and you purposefully set someone else up for a MN bashing

how very nice of you mears

will you share this "bit of fun" with the her?

or do you prefer to encourage strangers to take the piss and speculate that she
is bad mum
shouldnt have done it
has PND/didn't want baby

God no - blood pouring torrentially out of one end and milk spurting out of the other !

Especially you scottishmummy. Your view point and mine on this completely differs. That is the substance of mumsnet.

I was genuinely amazed by her behaviour. It was not setting her up for a bashing - it was to see if others would do the same. The responses range from 'no way' - to 'good for her'.

Was cheeky to mention attire but as said before was just being flippant.

I never said she has PND/does not want baby BTW.