To think that health professionals should not call me MUM

[Reallytired]

DD had her jabs today and the nurse kept on calling me "Mum" even though I said to her that I did not want her to call me "Mum". I told her that it was a biological impossiblity that I was her mother.

I have two children and I am happy for me to call me Mum, but I do have a proper name and I think health professionals should use it.

aye, it's a local thing here. they're considering phasing out drop in hvs at GPs so that the hvs can concentrate on at risk children. although in practice they're doing it already, our practice has a policy of identifying people who need help and leaving the ones who don't alone. (which i'm fine with, tbh). what that means is that i only see them at jag time, and like i say they're always different anyway. i'd just prefer if, having called dd's name out in the waiting room, they said 'follow me' rather than 'follow me, mum'. other than that, i'm quite happy to be left alone.

as i said i post about posts not posters

ideas,threads stimulate me,not the he/she said

yep, that's right. i must be vaaaaaairy stimulating, sm. [flirt]

atich you are a name on a screen,one of many.i an not MN monogamous i go with anyone

you big tease.

gosh, read aitch's post metioning my name and was crapping myself at first...but, no it's o.k. in my experience culture of a ward is a real influence, phew....but it is not just the nhs, it is everywhere....customer service, well...society....oterwise things like nazi germany could not have happen and things like it could not happen now....it is a adjusment in what is acceptable, and sadly may people will go wiht it, and that is expected....

however, on another note...not to those with Kids all the time in hossie, although, you may also think about it....be glad you can actually be there...I was born 1970 with a cleft lip and palate...bilateral...in the big picture really not a problem...but my mum was not allowed into my room to hold me when I was in hossie as a Baby, never mind going into the theatre with me, until I had my anaesthisia....my mum was not allowed into x-rays, was send out when I saw the orthodontist when he fixed my permanent braces, and such....so...whilst the mum bit may grind in the long term, be glad you can be with your child....and hope that things will get even better in the future....to make it easier for your children to go through whatever they have to go through..

fairlady i invoke godwins law for your nazi chunterring

TBH Fair there is no way modern pead wards could function if the parents were not there.

They just do not have the staff to feed, change, comfort and generally care for beds full of sick kids.

Its not because they dont want to, they just could not do it. No way.

parents are pivotal and central to child recovery in paeds.

chegirl..there wasn't in them days...I still rock myself to sleep something I started at a 3 month stint in hossie when I was there as a 3 month-6month old Baby...otherwise I was developemental delayed at the time due to lack of input ( I would say in an nowadays more educated guess)....but I did that thing that you do to comfort yourself...in them days it was the norm that parents weren't aloud in unless it was visiting times, no matter how far away they lived....also, their attitude impacted on my mums genera attirtude..she was told it was better for her to be away, and therefore before surgeries she would not come in...but by then, parents nearer by were told a different stor, therefore those parents weere there to support their kids , which made me feel more lonely...no meant like it by my mum, she was acting in best attend...

must follow your link scottish...may I say though, not knowing what it is...I am german myself, andhave some first hand report of that time and can only assume of course...but experiments have been done since, that show that human nature does function in such way....I'd say a lot of depressing an trying to be save...will read link now, as no idea what it is about...so, sorry if I got all defensive...and it only goes to proof my point...

well, read the link...but sorry., not sure what you are implying...inappropriately or was I not, could be either...whichever way I read it...
I didn't mean to compare the situation as such to nazi germany, but human nature and the way humans follow...bit like sheep...bar some...of course...but those some often get "cruzified"in the process...I suppose...but honest, there were experiments...such as a prison one, which would prove my point if I could remember the name...must ask uni friend...but basically some normal people were selected to be prisoners and some were wards and the ward attirtude was nasty...and it didn't take long for those wads, dispite being lovely people to be horrible, because it was accpetable...will find out experiment name if needed, although, people may know here already....

jesus christ fairlady, that is so awful, you poor thing. what a way to muck up bonding with a child, it's awful.

don't worry about the godwin's law thing, it's just an internet joke. your point is entirely valid, you could also cite the stanford prison experiment as well.

x-posts, fairlady. don't worry, sm was just kidding you, it's just a facetious internet gag. you're right.

Sorry sm- don't think Godwin's law applies on that one!

"Godwin's Law applies especially to inappropriate, inordinate, or hyperbolic comparisons of other situations (or one's opponent) with Hitler or Nazis or their actions."

I think fairlady was using the example of Nazi Germany to make a valid point, vis a vis that what is 'normal (language/greeting)' is subject to change over time; ie, "Heil Hitler" is no longer an acceptable greeting in Germany, but was once (and became an acceptable greeting even when some people felt uncomfortable with it). This is not hyperbole, so doesn't apply- it is a valid point.

I think I'll get over to pedants' corner

fairlady,nazi comparisons and analogies detract rather than add gravity

best avoided, esp on breast feeding threads

x-post, sorry

that must be the one I am thinking about...the stanford prison experiment...valid and documented...

like I said....of course all hcp need to know what things annoy people...but it needs also be recognised how far things have come...well, in civilised countrys after all we just need to look at progra,mmes such as bulgarias forgotten children to realise that western far back attitude is still the norm in "less developed" countries....and being called mum is , in tthat respect not the worst in the world....still needs to addressed gently...because progress is good and will make care beter and better...it must have been some brave parents standing up against that sort of regime to get the change...

Fair I vividly remember being torn screaming from my mum's arms to be admitted to hospital in the early 70s.

It was common practice for many years to not allow parents on wards. Things changed radically and for the better. I do think that there is an over reliance on parental involvement sometimes. The children who do not have parents with them suffer the most. As it is assumed that a parent will stay with a child the staff quotas do not allow for those who are alone.

We [other parents] used to do a sort of informal rota to help the kids on their own. It was heartbreaking to see a child go through chemo on their own.

I remember being in hospital with DS (long before my DD's illness}, I told the nurse that I needed to go and get something to eat. She said 'but your child might wake up!'. So obviously I should starve? (parents do not get fed by the hosptial).

I can't think of another comparison that would have made the point as well, sm...

Fairlady sorry to read your post. So much was stolen from you and your mum

Whatfreshhell - as Aithch has already said that is just bad! and just proves what others have been saying, that you can not always raise the issue at the time.

chegirl...yes kids on teir own dealing with such big things is heartbreaking too watch...when I did my nursingtraining I did a stint on paed surgical ward, and I simply could not help but care even more for those alone in those times...as a student that was still encouraged on paed wards...I still remember those kids names, despite it being over 20 years ago....tey were special to me....gosh a getting all soppy...honest, to the kid it doesn't matter what you are called when tey going through it....no matter how annoying it can be...

also....someone asked earlier on why someone being an anaesthisioligist minded being called a nurse, rather than her name or title...I suppose because they aren't a nurse...nt because there is anything wrong with the title or thereis anything wrong with being a nurse....but basically you work towards whichever jobtitle, and in fields like the medical kind the titles are protected, why not wish to be called by your proper title or your name...
in a way, by becoming a mum that is part f you...and even if you are not someones mum, you are still that kids mum, deserving that title, to turn the argument on it's head

it was a completely fair example of how the prevailing culture impacts on the treatment of others and not in the slightest hyperbolic, sm.

lol at snapple's also valid poiint about it not always being possible to raise the issue of mum at the time. lol. can you imagine? i'd personally have been so tense she'd never have got her speculum back.

erm, sm, this is not a breastfeeding thread...now I am one that hates the term bf nazi...I was on about culture and acceptabilty ,

but that doesn't turn the argument on its head though, fairlady, quite the opposite. i'm immensely proud of being my dds' mum, i don't mind being referred to as 'their/your/her mum'. it's when the hcp addresses me as if i am their mum 'follow me, Mum etc' that i baulk.

well yes...but, come on, half the time it's a turn of phrase...they don't mean it n a " you are their mum way"....buut, I know what ouy mean and personaly would not do it, seeing how many people get wound up aboput it, good lesson learned, seeing that I am going back into the field as an ot evetually....and will try to raise the issue where appropriately, and people shpuld speak out if they encounter it and find it annoying....it will change things again...if it isn't acceptab;e it will eventually be weaned out