to think that no men really, truly do like and appreciate a fat woman?

[fedupintheoffice]

I mean, why would they?

I'm a 21 stone, size 28. I haven't had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I find that men are really grossed out by my flabs. What man in his right mind would choose someone like me when they can have a slim, toned beauty.

I'll get me coat

Can I ask a question and get honest answers? This is in no way a criticism but I want to understand people a bit better. When I was bigger I always felt bad about it - unhealthy and less attractive (though still attractive not as attractive as thinner women).

So can I ask you all honestly - those of you who are big:

Are you happy with your size and if you could take a magic pill (with no side effects etc) and be slim forever, would you do so?

yes i would.
if i could wake up tomorrow a size 14 (anything less than that and i'd be bones) i would do it.

BUT i am happy enough with who i am that i can't be doing with diets and i dont want to spend hours a day in a gym.
I eat fairly healthily and im not so unfit that its causing any health issues for me.

I would take a pill to remove the belly that 4 pregnancies and one section ruined but I like my backside and my boobs and would like to keep them

I am happy in my skin

I think most guys like a slender, curvy body with some tone. Honestly I don't think many guys like someone who looks unhealthily overweight. Everyone has their preferences I suppose and if you are with someone you love who changes, like thorough childbirth or whatever that is somewhat different. But as a pulling thing I don't think guys would be attracted to someone obese.

in fact if there were two magic pills, one to make me skinny and one to make me 6inches shorter i would take the one to make me shorter rather than the skiny one.

But Mamazon - tall is great Unless you are six foot four in which case, duck or grouse and all that

well close enough at 6'1.

yes Sally i'd choose 5'8/9 too

I can only agree with the comments about vibes and confidence. It basically comes down to personality and what you project to others. If you don't love yourself how can anyone else love you? Slightly cliched but very true.

Only once has a bf asked me to lose weight as he didn't like my body at which point I showed him both the door and the flaws with his body! No one is perfect.

I'm a larger than life woman (6' tall and size 30) and have had no issue in getting dates / male attention (sometimes unwanted) and am now happlily married with a 3 month old daughter.

Life is good if you'll let it be.

Chin up / look in the mirror and love yourself.

I think different men like different things. Some like skinny women, some like mid range and some like 'em squidgy!

However, there is a cut-off point. Beyond that - imo - it's more a fetish than anything. The only blokes who'd fancy me would be 'feeders'.

If you let it be SPOT ON!

When me (skinny) and my friend (with gorgous curves) went out, it was always her that got chatted up, she oozed confidence, the men were literally tripping over themselves to get to her.

I could pull more now if I wanted to, but only because I have much more confidence.

I have a gorgeous non skinny partner whom I love cuddling up to, a bag of bones would make me sick tbh.

I'm way over weight and trying to lose it (which is another story) but I don't want to be thin and skinny I just want to have better curves. I've put on weight since having kids but was large when DH met me 6 years ago and he still loves me for who I am.

I think i'd like to be about a size 16-18 if I could and I hope I will be. Any smaller and I'd be too different I think. I also like my food too much.

I have a friend who is overweight and has oodles of confidence. I think she's pulled most men in London so far, she's pulled far more than a few of our skinny/thin friends. It is confidence. I've always found when i'm confident I feel better and give off better vibes to people

I'd take the pill but for health reasons tbh (ds3 ne3eds hsi carer here able to walk for as long as possible). however I actually like myself mroe now than at any satge of thinness- whether that is age related though I don't know

I am tying to lose it atm and being good, but it that health thing and I am not 'dieting' in any misery inducing sense- just making healthier choices

I do think this:

If no man really, truly appreciates a fat woman, my dh is having a LOT of sex with one (and that would be me!!)

For my health I would like to lose some weight. But not for my sex life/relationship. For my future health.

I am now about 18 stone and size 22 and am happier than I was 5 stone heavier and 3 dress sizes smaller. Maybe because now I can buy clothes that fit properly all over, and am happy in other aspects of my life.

I recently went on a hen weekend with about 15 other girls. I was the largest one there with 2 other girls who were about a size 16. All the rest were about 8/10. Guess who got all the male attention without having to dress with everything on show. We did.

Life is too short to worry what people think of you. If you're that unhappy with yourself take the advice of other people here - do what you need to do to be happy. Whether that is losing weight, new haircut, getting your nails done, dressing differently...

BTW - my DP loves me the size I am. He knw me when I was thinner and I've been dieting and exercising and he's worried I'm going to lose my boobs, bum and belly. He's got a bit of a belly himself and I love cuddling up to it.

Im size 14 but have a "mummy tummy" (bleugh i hate that saying!) he loves me as i am and would have sex several times a day if he could, its me and my body hang ups that are the problem! I go to Slimming World to loose wieght so can get my confidence back to once again be confident in the bedroom, i am fine everywhere else, i am constantly on stage preforming so no confidence issues in public.

I would take a pill if it would tone up what i have.

I would also have Lipo and a tummy tuck if i had the money and the time and childcare.

WWMC - yes, I would like a pill to make me wake up slimmer. If it could also make me 3 inches taller, that would be grand!

In the meantime, I will just have to get back to WW!

I wouldn't take a pill to be shorter. I'm 5'11" and after years of feeling very uncomfortable I now love my height. I would take a pill to get rid of the bags under my eyes

What is it they're meant to be appreciating though?

If you're morbidly obese it's incredibly unhealthy - it's like saying why don't men truly appreciate an alcoholic.

You can be far from morbisly obese and still be labelled fat in this society. When I was in the healthy range I still got comments.

Where can I get this pill? Yes, I would take it in a second as well as a pill to make me taller and is there a richer pill too?

I am doing my dissertation on pro obesity, there are loads of feeders, but they are not ALL just what most would think are perverts (although a lot are). Many are what is known as FAs - Fat Admirers, they may still like to see someone gain, but also - just like fat bodies. Also many of them because of their attitude to bigger women, can see beyond the usual society imposed view, and are more open to knowing the actual person, rather than a stereotype of a 'fat person'.

Is it the case that lots of the men who 'appreciate' obese women are actually obese themselves then? That would make sense. He'd be under no pressure to eat healthily or change his lifestyle if she was as big as him.