to think that no men really, truly do like and appreciate a fat woman?

[fedupintheoffice]

I mean, why would they?

I'm a 21 stone, size 28. I haven't had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I find that men are really grossed out by my flabs. What man in his right mind would choose someone like me when they can have a slim, toned beauty.

Sorry am on phone and pressed send.

I am now though at the top end of a comfortable weight, I went up to a 20 and looked awful. If I go any smaller than a 14 I don't look right.

well my SI makes me feel really slim and clearly she is married . This is an older brother so they've been married a long time. Not everyone is supeficial.

As has been said already the evidence about weight and health isn't as one-sided as the papers suggest and in particular the oft quoted magic figure of 22 for BMI doesn't have a lot to support it. If you exercise and keep your heart healthy you might be better with a BMI nearer 25 and maybe even the "wrong" side of it.

I have just spent the last few days wondering this. I have been single for nearly 6 years and wonder if it is me or my weight. In my late teens and early 20's I had (not trying to sound up myself or anything) a fabulous body. Very 1950's pinup and had heaps of confidence and was never ever rejected. Now...I am a size 18/20 (was a 22)and have lost the confidence and could not get a cardboard cut out to chat me up.
Maybe a makeover is needed? I do exercise and eat healthy food and know that my body is a result of stopping sport and retaining a lot of muscle.

Any yes I would love to wake up a size 12/14 (and not wear glasses and be an inch taller)

Oh yes and where are these men that chat you all up? None where I live.

Loulovesaeroplanejelly. I do think it's geographica to be honest. I'm from the South-East originally and never got much attention, I moved to Wales and suddenly I was chocolate

I remember going to Seattle when I was 19 and I'd never had much confidence of being chatted up or anything and suddenly there were men all over the place liking me. I didn't know how to handle it - it totally freaked me out! One guy waited outside a restaurant I went into with my mum just so he could ask her, if she minded if he talked to me. She didn't mind - I did, I was so shy I had no idea what to say.

After 12 years in South Wales I'm a heck of a lot more confident from all the attention and attract even more because I'm confident, outgoing and fun. Also, I tend to hang out in very male dominated areas for work and sports so my ratio of male to female acquaintances is very high in favour of men

If you're not meeting men, what do you do socially? do you hang around single friends sometimes or are they all married etc? do you work outside of the home and meet men that way?

I work stupidly long hours and only talk to children and other women. I have no male friends. Mainly because I only talk to women who talk to women (it's a vicious circle). I have joined a canoe club and am loving that and actaully get to talk to BOYS (in a social not picking up way) which is nice because I miss having male friends.

I think (well I know) that the reason I am afraid to put myself out there is the rejection. I know I have to but am scared. Am more scared of being single forever and turning into the crazy cat lady from the simpsons.

What has made it all to real was my trip to Italy. Travelling alone (which I don't normally mind) and sitting on a hill watching the sun set over Florence surrounded by couples was probably the most depressing thing ever. I could have cried. I so wanted to be with someone.

I loike big buts I cannot lie!

I had an eating disorder in the past. I was a size six and I felt DISGUSTING. I didn't feel liek a woman and I missed my curves. My eating disorder wasn't down to me thinking I was fat but rather down to a controlling boyfriend who refused to kiss me if I ate meat!

After dd I realise that I have gone from a size 14 top a size 16 but you know what? I'd rather be a size 16 than a size 6 any day. i feel like a woman and I love my food. Plus I don't need a man to tell me I'm georgeous because I know I am.

If a man told me to loose wieght I'd tell him to fuck off.

Aeroplan jelly- I know that feeling when you really want to be with someone. Please don't beat yourself up. You have the guts to travel alone. Thats a wonderful thing! Some man will apprechiate your wonderful sense of adventure. Most of those couples wouldn't even dare to go to the local pub alone let alone to Italy.

like

sorry!

Haven't read thew whole thread, so apo0logies if I repeat what others have said.

I have been a size 8 and a size 20 and everything in between. I've learned the hard way that if you are unhappy with your body and have low self worth related to your image, then you will have it no matter what your size.

I hated my skinny legs when I was a 'perfect' size 8. At a size 20, I had curvy thighs but obssessed about my huge tummy. At a size 14, my tummy is much flatter, but I worry about my flabby upper arms. It's a a depressing cycle of of self hatred. I catch myself at it and despair! I am supposed to be a bloody feminist! On a good day, I am able to forget my body and just get on with living my life. On a bad day, i am so, so hard on myself.

It's pathetic to let 'what men like' define you, I know, but it is heartening that men from some of cultures prefer curvy women. My husband is from the West Indies and has mainly gone out with size 14/16 + women. I was a size 10 when we met and the skinniest woman he'd ever dated by a mile (I did have a big bum, though. Think that might have swung it...). It's nice to be with a man who isn't afraid of a bit of flab That said, the cliche is true: Real love is accepting the person you love for richer, poorer, fatter or thinner. During my marriage to DH I have been super slim, pretty damn fat and am no your average, out of shape British female - and he has never once made me feel anything less than gorgeous.

You just need to find a good 'un!

MrsMattie - can we all have your husband please?