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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that no men really, truly do like and appreciate a fat woman?

260 replies

fedupintheoffice · 11/08/2009 21:40

I mean, why would they?

I'm a 21 stone, size 28. I haven't had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I find that men are really grossed out by my flabs. What man in his right mind would choose someone like me when they can have a slim, toned beauty.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 13/08/2009 15:26

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sleeplessinstretford · 13/08/2009 15:29

wicked-i am going to smoke a fag whilst kids asleep (to prevent me demolishing a tub of mini donuts tuba noise) i'll look you up...
can i ask if i will be the only person who smears the kids leftovers in mustard so she doesn't shovel it down her instead or are there others with so little self control?

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/08/2009 15:42

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sleeplessinstretford · 13/08/2009 15:48

ok,i am there-i am currently watching a woman dressed as a bowl of citrus fruit making a pudding on comedinewithme such is my gluttony.

whomovedmychocolate · 13/08/2009 16:36

Nigella Lawson is never a size 16 ? How can she be. She looks a good size 12 on the TV and everyone looks fatter on the telly.

Really? Seriously?

Avoid Shiny's threads. She's so rude

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/08/2009 17:13

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WhoSoldMyPrivacyToTheDM · 13/08/2009 19:54

Don't do folds, I do creases shiney

And I don't want to hack anyone off either - have had it with people taking the huff round here one way or another. Am going off to continue my plans for world domination instead.

AuntieMaggie · 13/08/2009 20:02

I just found my birthday list and one of the things I wrote on the bottom was to be a size 10. My dp scribbled next to it:

You're too sexy as you are - don't ever change xxx

It's not about him wanting me to be unhealthy, yes I'm overweight but am probably fitter than most thin people. My cholesteral, blood pressure, etc etc are perfect. The only thing wrong with me is I'm a bit overweight.

TiggyR · 13/08/2009 21:10

The sainted, fragrant, camp and shmaltzy Nigella must be a size 16 - but has very expensive reinforced, violently upholstered underwear, and I bet she can't wait to rip it off after each filming sesh. Still, she is adored/salivated over by almost all intelligent men everywhere, so long as she wears the scaffolding knickers, and for a woman the wrong side of 40 and the wrong side of a size 16 that's good enough for me. She's the ambassador of slightly fat girls, (like me) whereas the Divine Dawn French is the ambassador of Properly Fat girls, (like the OP) and she is the evidence that you can be beautiful, intelligent, funny and sexy - and huge. God love her. Plus her husband's pretty hot. And he really loves her even though he's famous and rich and cute and could have anyone.

IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes · 13/08/2009 21:14

I bet this will be used by the Daily Mail, if there is one thing they hate more than a woman it is a woman who dares to be fat.

If they quote me I will go to Daily Mail towers, eat a huge kebab and vomit in their lift.

WhoSoldMyPrivacyToTheDM · 13/08/2009 22:15

I'm planning to start some DM feeder stories around Mumsnet you know, have a laugh, see if we can bait them a bit - want to play? Assumed names only.

lilacclaire · 13/08/2009 22:56

I'd love to tuck in and enjoy all the food I wanted, but extra weight looks weird on me, definetly do not have the right body shape to carry it or the fat just doesn't land on the right places, believe me I would love to have hips and a lush bum.

My dp on the other hand has been getting eyed up all day by much younger skinny bitches girls and he is no lightweight, but carry's it well and still looks handsome.

You can still be normal weight and feel insecure, you should have seen the blinking girls looking at dp, I was ignoring it for the sake of my sanity, but it does have an impact.

lilacclaire · 13/08/2009 22:57

Oh, and dp said he would marry nigella !!

swiftyknickers · 14/08/2009 09:34

This is really interesting to me.

I was always very skinny and was when I met my now DH. Then I discovered booze and kebabs and hips at the age of 20 and literally doubled in size within a year. Have been on a diet for 8 years basically and put on 4 stone!!

I am now a size 16/18 and 5'9 so carry it pretty well and relativly happy. I get the ' gosh haven't you got a pretty face' alot which basically means yes your pretty for a fatty.

When men look at me, I always wonder if it's because they think I'm fat.

I always thought my DH thought I was beautiful and then he called me a 'lazy, fat c*nt' in an srgument 2 weeks ago and now am my self esteem is shot.

So in answer to the question I do think men like curvy women but they have to be proportionate(sp) and not too fat IYSWIM

OrmIrian · 14/08/2009 09:45

"he called me a 'lazy, fat c*nt' "

I'm not surprised your self-esteem is shot! Even without the 'fat' in the middle of that. How horrible.

swiftyknickers · 14/08/2009 09:53

it was and it is- we are going to marriage counselling and he has moved out. It is not something I can accept and wont allow myself to be spoken to like that.

But between you and me I feel sad about it.

allgonebellyup · 14/08/2009 12:41

The thing i dont get about people going on about how great it is to be fat is - its NOT HEALTHY!!!!

Fat people are obviously more at risk of heart problems as well as numerous other things, it doesnt matter if a man/feeder finds them attractive or not. Your life is at risk if you are size 20plus, im sorry, but it is.
How is someone meant to exercise when they are carrying 10plus stone of extra weight on their bones??

Donkeyswife · 14/08/2009 13:48

Fedup, dress size and weight are just numbers. If you feel you are too uncomfortable with your weight, lose it for the sake of yourself not some bloke.

Most decent human beings see beyond the superficiality of appearance.

messalina · 14/08/2009 15:17

I know lots of very attractive bigger women who are not just attractive because of their "bubbly personalities". They are very pretty, are confident and dress really well. And have also seen some very ugly ones but they tend to be the ones in the stained trackie bums with fat fannies and a kfc bucket lodged between their mammaries. So much like skinny women then - depends on the woman, not the weight.

Crablass · 14/08/2009 15:44

messalina "tend to be the ones in the stained trackie bums with fat fannies" I hope you're from the USA. If not you're looking at these women way too closely

messalina · 14/08/2009 16:32

No, British through and through. What I meant was that some women (usually more obvious if they are wearing tight trousers) have a very large stomach at the bottom bit and it looks as if they have an enormous fanny. My DH has noticed this too. Maybe camel toe will ring a bell? I believe it's the same condition.

MANATEEequineOHARA · 14/08/2009 20:12

Oh I do hope the DM do quote this and comment, it would be very helpful for my dissertation

allgonebellyup there is a load of evidence that is more hidden (for policy reasons???) that counteracts the fat as unhealthy view. It does not deny that a diet of fast food etc is unhealthy, but this is not confined to fat people, some people are fat on the same diet as naturally thinner people. Also a lot of morbidly obese people die after WLS, this is always put down to being 'too little too late', another way of looking at it, is the surgery killed someone who was going through it to conform to a social norm. (This is not entirely swaying my personal view, but some of it makes you think...)

allgonebellyup · 14/08/2009 20:12

messalina - that made me wet myself laughing.

Fat FANNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If only i had a fat fanny myself.

IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes · 14/08/2009 20:19

I am not conventionally pretty but am often told that I am sexy. I think with the right clothes it is easy for lots of larger women to look sexy ( I am a size 18) , I am all tits, hips and bottom. Being my size does mean that I have to be very aware of my body shape, what enhances and draws the eye to the right places. I do struggle with casual, it has taken me years to get it right. But I caught myself in the mirror and thought Christ woman you are one hot mama.

spiritguide · 14/08/2009 20:21

That's not true. In some cultures like Jamaican men for example, they like bumper and breast