to think that no men really, truly do like and appreciate a fat woman?

[fedupintheoffice]

I mean, why would they?

I'm a 21 stone, size 28. I haven't had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I find that men are really grossed out by my flabs. What man in his right mind would choose someone like me when they can have a slim, toned beauty.

but don't you see, Im not.

Im a 20+ stone size 24. and yet another woman can look at me and see all that! Im not saying i agree with all of it im not quite that barking mad vain but it just goes to show that weight and dress size means nothing.

you can still be seen as beautifull

There is a big difference between being nicely-shaped but generously-sized, and just being a huge blob of wobbly lard with a huge apron of fat that falls to your knees.

I think many men appreciate beauty in women regardless of size, but if someone looks unhealthily fat, then it's not going to be attractive to many people apart from those who 'specialise' (i.e, feeders, etc).

As mentioned upthread - I also hate the misuse of the word 'curvy'. Fat women seem to have claimed it for themselves, thus taking away its true meaning.

Mamazon - you are gorgeous.

God am loving this thread. Im always thinking the reason im single is beause of how big i am (size 20) rather than my self confidence. Lot to think about, but im still going to lose 5 stone if it kills me

Of course you can still be seen as beautiful, no matter what your size. My point is that men in general go for beauty above all - if you have the looks you have them - no matter what size you are.

When overweight women say they can pull easily it's the ones who are have the looks, great hair, teeth, huge smile and good proportions. Their stunning looks give them confidence. Like Mamazon.

I'm size 12. I know I'm no stunner and fine with it, I'm just Mrs Average. But I'd look much worse being a size 22 and men would find me less attractive at that size.

So, beautiful women can get away with being size 18/20 but most of us can't.

just wanted to add that, imo, it's more about a man's confidence than the woman's. Men do fancy larger woman, maybe not full on fat, but sizes 22, 24, yes definitely.

they wouldn't all go out with them though. they may baulk at having them on their arm at social functions. If they have confidence in themselves, this wouldn't be an issue im sure.

I have to agree with a lot of what has already been said. It isn't just about weight it is about the whole package and being aware of the good bits as well as the bad. Confidence is all.

If you go around dressed in manky leggings and huge baggy t-shirts, don't bother with your hair or looking after yourself and constantly walk around with your head down then few men are going to be interested no matter what your size.

If you look after yourself, dress nicely, do your hair and smile then it makes all the difference. There will be a man out there for you.

As a larger lady myself, I think it is also off putting if you don't have much energy and don't cope with your weight well. If just getting out of your arm chair leaves you groaning and puffing with the effort then that isn't attractive. However, many larger ladies can still run around and not appear to be hindered by their weight. Appearing to carry your weight and still be healthy makes a difference. IMO anyway. Some men can be big and fit. If you had two large men, the same size and one couldn't even tie his shoelaces without getting out of breath and the other could, well, the fit one would stand more of a chance!!

Having a bit of umph and a bit of go about you, will also help. If you don't have it, well, fake it. Fake the confidence too if you have to.

I can't help thinking that an overweight man is much less attractive than an overweight woman. That might be just my opinion of course but nothing would make me fancy a seriously fat bloke.

kerry - agree about the local papers. And not just the women either - you very rarely see a perfect couple - which I find reassuring.

That's true OrmIrian. Probably because women are much curvier than men to start with so some extra curves don't look as bad. Women are meant to be fatter than men. And of course women can trowel on the slap, get their hair done and wear a nice dress, that helps too.

Agree Mamazon is gorgeous. Very jealous of the cleavage

I think there are a lot of men who do prefer larger women. I was bridesmaid for a friend who was about 5 foot 3 and size 20. She wanted to diet for her wedding and her fiance was horrified at the thought. He preferred her to be larger.

at mamazon - you are hot stuff.

I have lost sooo much boob on this bloody diet, its not fair, i used to have whopping boobies and now I'm starting to see proper gapage in my bras weep weep

anyway

I think all of us drooling over mamazon should make the OP feel good, they weigh about the same, are roughly the same size, give or take so if mamazon can pull it off - and she is not some 'slim, toned beauty' as the OP put it - why can't the OP?

FWIW I was beating them off with a stick when I weighed 20st 7lb, even boys who had these so called 'slim, toned beauties' wanted a piece of my ample behind
and I assure you, I looked a right hefer, I was just very full (s'cuse the pun!) of myself and I swear men can smell confidence on you, it drives them wild.

in fact, I think I'm less sure of myself now that I've lost weight, which makes no sense?!!

here is me when I weighed just under 20st - mmmm, belly rolls LOL

I are hot stuff non? lol

ermmm, that totally didn't work LOL

My dh has told me many times that men really really are not turned on by skin and bone in the manner of Victoria Beckham. It's only fashion designers and other (shallow) women who are impressed by that physique. Men like round arses, boobs and hips, it's what makes our bodies different to theirs.

meh it's all down to preferences.
one day someone will be saying that all men want a vb style figure. the next it will be the claim that no,men actually want more normal shaped girls as alluded to by cybilliberty above.
truth is everyone will have their own preferences and ideas.
i do like skinny women but friends of mine would probably find them to be too skinny and have a different preference.

May I point out that not all thin women are obessesed with their size, are bitches who sneer at bigger women, are hardfaced etc etc.

Thin women are often judged as such and I have been accused of being anorexic and even making my DD anorexic (she had cancer as it goes). It is also often assumed that my life is wonderful. How silly because I am a size 8, my life is wonderful!

I have been thin all my life. I dont diet. Admittedly I am not very interested in food but I do eat. I could not be less interested in my weight! I would certainly NOT judge someone on their size (unlike some of my friends who are heavier than I).

Of course bigger women can be beautiful,just as thin women can be ugly. Men will alway phwoorr! at the beauties but most of us do not fall into that airbrushed catagory whatever our size.

In RL men will go out with someone they get on with. I doubt very much if men have the same hang ups as most women. When they look in the mirror they see Brad Pitt. I am continually amazed at how even the most beautiful of my friends look in the mirror and see The Witch of the East.

Oh come on Tryharder- a size 16 is not really fat. Only when compared to skeletal spice!

I have to say some larger men are attractive.

I like Justin Lee Collins- he's like a big sexy teddy bear but unfortunately I hear he's gone on a diet.

John Travolta is also hot despite the poundage.

Confidence and attitude is key.

I've got loads of male friends who prefer nice round ladies to thin ones. More to cuddle, softer etc.

All the blokes in the office (I've just asked)say it's boring dating a dieting woman whatever size she was and that they'd prefer a fat chick with confidence and a bit of oomph to a thin groomed model type with no spark!

One guys just said that as long as she's not the size of a sofa and can still bend over for him that it doesn't matter.[shocked] Boys...

I have just read morningpapers narrative and I am blushing.

Swimming into norks and legs and swishing advertisement hair?

MP, do you have a second writing career you have not yet told us about? Maybe you and SGB should team up?

Mamazon, you should just shut your pert little mouth up. You are more beautiful than most, not despite your large size, but because of it. Most of your lard is distributed very well, to your chest.

The rest of us, might just be lardy and lumpy and flat chested and feel bad. Looking at YOU might make us lust or long for our lard to fill our lace basques, but not necessarily feel better about ourselves....

Disclaimer: QS is not lusting after Mamazon, oooooonly to fill her own lace basque with equal charms.

From other end of the scale, I'm really skinny, not by choice especially just have quite a nervous disposition and don't put on weight easily. Am considerably skinnier now than I was pre DD and DH finds it MUCH less attractive than. So think the men finding skinny women attractive thing is a bit of a myth. Am sure prettiness comes into it so I guess all those uber-successful men who have model-type wives go for the attractiveness rather than the skinniness but the two tend to go hand in hand if you're a model, that's all.

Have to admit I don't find hugely overweight men that attractive but I wouldn't think twice about a couple of extra stone. And wit and intelligence definitely trumps everything else anyhow

Different men like different things, I am currnently a size 18 but a few years ago slimmed down to a 12 / 14 dp hated it and he did everything to encourage me to put the weight back on. I did put it back on because my medication makes me eat like a horse, I come down empty the food cupboards at night and wake up with no recollection of doing it. I am about to stArt loosing it Again as it makes me very unhappy. I know dp would prefer me to stay the weight I am, he loves big boobs and an ample bottom. When I loose weight it does go from my chest first. My dp is not over weight and is considered to be something of a hottie at the school gates.

Despite the fact that I am overweight and jn my opinion a complete minger I have never had a problem attracting men.

Sorry OP I would be more concerned for your health rather than men fancying you!

There is a massive difference between being Curvy and being fat/obese........

I agree with Nancy66 and Daftpunk I couldn't date a Obese/fat man...Nor a skinny one they have to be Hench.

God makes them and he matches them. My lovely DH adores my body and it is well beyond curvy - (hence my posting name) He isn't fat but he isn't perfect. I know he said that he always liked bigger women but when he was younger he didn't have the confidence to admit it to his friends. Even when we first met (in our mid-20's) he admitting he was nervous when I met some of his friends and family because I was (am) fat. It didn't bother me because I am well aware of the prejudices surrounding weight so it was no surprise.

I am what, I don't have a problem with my size other than that I am an 'apple' and prone to health conditions such as type 2 diabetes, which has been an incentive to alter my eating habits a bit. I would also like to be able to buy clothes more easily and have more choice than Evans or Simply Be . But.. I look in the mirror and I feel fine, I don't feel disgusted by my size and neither does my dh.

To the OP, I bet there are men out there interested but perhaps they don't have the guts to admit in front of their mates which is sad but true Good luck, I'm sure there is someone out there for you.