to think that no men really, truly do like and appreciate a fat woman?

[fedupintheoffice]

I mean, why would they?

I'm a 21 stone, size 28. I haven't had a boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I find that men are really grossed out by my flabs. What man in his right mind would choose someone like me when they can have a slim, toned beauty.

i never struggled with attracting attention from guys .Though have lost weight down to health not wanting to be slim.mind i have the double edged curse im ginger to

My SIL is obese, and very beautiful.

Her husband worships the ground she walks on - adores her and can't keep his hands off her.

If you are confident and lovely, men will like you, no matter what your size.

Well Im enormous in every way compared to DP. I am teh first person he has been with above a size 14 and he claims im the sexiest person he's ever slept with.

so ner

I think the word curvy is much abused. Curvy to me is a healthy proportioned woman with full breasts, a defined waist, a flattish stomach and a juicy bum......NOT someone with rolls and rolls of flab, bingo wings and chafing thighs.

I don't think most men fancy women at the extreme ends of the weight spectrum (the skinny minnies and the BBW's). I think most men want a woman who has has curves but who looks good in her clothes.

Love obviously transcends the issue but in terms of sexual attraction I know all my male friends prefer a healthy looking girl.

There is always someone for everyone, some men like skinny girls other like big girls just as some like blondes and some like brunettes.

Have confidence in yourself and it will shine through.

However, if something is making you very unhappy you can change it whatever it is. Don't do it for men, do it for yourself if it will make you happier within yourself it is worth the effort it takes.

Ok, here goes. I think the majority of men would not fancy a fat woman (and vice versa - the majority of women would not be attracted to a heavily overweight man). I don't mean curvy, slightly chubby, buxom etc etc - I mean a properly fat woman.

They may like her, they may love her - but I think the majority would not fancy her.

We are basically programmed to mate and reproduce - and that involves visually selecting healthy partners. Most of the time, that would preclude a heavily overweight individual. There are clearly people who buck that trend.

I know we have evolved and don't live in caves anymore. I know that there are different standards of beauty for different people - and that beauty is skin deep - and that many overweight people have happy love lives. I am just offering an opinion on what the majority of men would find attractive. I could probably back it up (with some googling) with some scientific research that has been done that states the obvious - men like healthy women with a defined waist and hips.

That's exactly what I was going to write too notyummy.

We are programmed to seek out the most fertile, healthiest partner. Women are drawn to a strong man of larger build and men are attracted to good wide hips, full boobs and full lips.

i agree it is a confidence thing - you need to love yourself before others can love you

i was overweight when i met my dh (15stone) and for years was happy, til i saw a picture of a friend and i at her 30th - i looked like a heffalump and dieted the next day and lost 4stone

dh loves me this size as well he says he loves me more tho there is less of me

only YOU can lose weight if you want to

but doesnt mean you are then going to be happy - a friend was size 20 and went to size 6/8 on the divorce diet - she looks gaunt and ill and she still isnt happy

another friend is prob 18/20 and looks faqb - shes oozes self confidence and have men flocking after norks

I don't have a problem with fat men. I have fancied every size and shape of man - usually because of things like their personality and smile - and although the one I ended up with isn't fat, a very big man has a certain kind of appeal. I know at least two now who I find attractive.

So, I can completely understand why overweight women can be very attractive to men. I know a few who are and it's not "despite" being fat IYSWIM - it's a part of them and often a part of their attractiveness. One has men buzzing around her all the time. She is large, gregarious, very witty, beautiful and you can see men just desperate to get physically close to her.

I think a confident fatter woman can "free up" men's love of flesh that culture forces them to suppress. They may think they only want a skinny woman because that is what they are told is beautiful and brings status, but a fatter woman can have a very primal effect. Obviously not all men, and any size of woman can be beautiful, but I do think a lot of men naturally do like fat.

I'm not particularly overweight, but I have a big pear-shaped fat bum which I consider pretty flabby and cellulitey, yet I can say for 100% certain that is the part of me all my boyfriends have admired the most and wanted to get their hands on.

her norks even

she is a fabby person and i love her

forgot to say that there are sites on the web that cater for men who like larger ladies

bbw click here and here

I was pretty big when I met DH and he likes bigger women (his previous two girlfriends had been sizes 18/20). I was a 20/22, I almost think he has struggled with my different body more than I have (and now that I am pregnant [shhhh] is enjoying the fact that I am "softening" up a little).

Everyone likes something different. There are cultures where a nice big fat wife is a sign of prosperity and a man's ability to provide. In our current society, youth and litheness is more highly valued. Neither is correct and neither is wrong, they are just different.

DH isn't what is considered "good looking" in today's society. He is almost 6 foot, with a rugby nose, heavily muscled but with a nice squidgy bit around the middle, hairy also . Exactly what I like. Somebody with ripped abs is a total turnoff to me, to someone else they are hot hot hot.

I never felt unattractive at my bigger size and so consequently did often get asked out. I lost the weight because it was too heavy to have to lift up everytime I wanted to do something!

I was a size 14 when met Dh but that was by far the smallest of his past girlfriends. am now definitely not a size 14. I can assure you that DH does not have an issue with that LOL- I seem to spend my life batting him off.

DH loves women, women with attitudes and opinions and the ability to laugh loudly, hug tight and play hard. What he doesn't like is a woman, size 8 or 22, who frowns all day, is scared of their own reflection and sits in expensive restaurants picking on a salad.

It's all about the attitude girl: if you're happy you will be liked.

I have read in a few places recently that the healthiest people are those with a BMI at the top end of the 'normal' range. For me (5'8") to be in that range I would need to be around 11st and probably a size 14/16.

It would seem to make sense in evolutionary terms if the opposite sex found that weight / size the most attractive, it being the healthiest.

But i am "properly fat"

Im not just a bit curvey or buxom or voluptuous or whatever else you want to politely call overweight.
Im FAT i have belly rolls, bingo wings and chaffing thighs.

My sister is a size 8-10

We go out together frequently and she will end the night miserable as sin and asking me why she doesn't "pull" like I do.

I get lots of attention from lots of different men. from the 18 year old wide boys to the suited an booted city lot to the older men sneaking out on a once in a decade boys night out.

I honestly believe that it is all about how you carry yourself and inner confidence.
Don't get me wrong. i don't think im some super model. far from it. I know my flaws and accept them. i dont sit about all day saying "oh im so fat you couldn't possibly fancy me"
Of course they fancy me, im bloody gorgeous!

I have plenty of days when i find it difficult to say that to myself, just like everyone else.
but until you reach a point where you really do believe that deep down you won't find what your looking for....or you'll find it very difficult at best.

There are men out there who love bigger women really there are, it just takes time to find the right man whatever shape you are - I'm still looking!! ha ha!!

the last two weddings I have been to, the brides where size 24 and size 20 and the weddings were lovely, the grooms where so happy and said so many lovely things in their speeches, made me quiet envious - my DP being an unromantic non-committing pig!!

so take heart, try to do things that make you feel happy and confident, then you will find love.

Mamazon I've seen your profile pics and you ARE bloody gorgeous!

Maybe (just maybe..) the bigger women who have success with men are the ones who are pretty? And a lot of the confidence comes from knowing you are pretty.

don't you believe it KingRolo.

I look like a monkey's arse without make up. HOneslty UDH, its all an act.

why would they? because they like a sexy, confident woman and if she happens to be a bigger one, they're not bothered!

my best friend here is size 24. she's got a great boyfriend. she's been married three times!

her boyfriend is no skinny himself.

we get chatted up when we go out because we are there to have a good time and that's attractive to men no matter what a woman's size.

i'm a size 14/16, depending on the shop.

i weigh however, a lot. because back when i was a size 8 i had a huge amount of muscle tissue from doing ballet from the age of 3, then being a runner and finally, a rock climber and mountaineer.

i'll never weigh what some people do who are 4 inches taller than i am (i'm 5ft., 4in.) and probably never be slimmer than a size 12 again.

but hey ho, my mojo is coming back now i started exercising again because what does it for me is being fit.

no matter what dress size!

my daughter is going to be thin and very tall all her life. i want her see that women can be sexy and beautiful no matter what their size.

I was going to a gig once with DH and a large bunch of his mates at the Albert Hall. It was the middle of London Fashion Week and to get to the venue we had to pass the Natural History Museuem which was teeming with models, slebs and fashionistas, noe of them above a size 10. The guys were visibly (and occasionally vocally) put off by the sea of hip bones and visible ribs.

To them, my size 22 hips, breasts, belly and self confidence were far more attractive than all the skinny insecurity on display, however much it is held up as the physical ideal by society.

I don't think it is about being "pretty" I think it is about, thinking that you are excellent and worthy of love and attention and whatever the hell else you want - and then going out and getting it.

I agree with everyone that said it is all about confidence. I am a size 12, which is the largest I have ever been, but I certainly have never been a girl who can pull at all and that is because I have zero confidence.

I'd swap being a 12 for a 16 tommorow if I thought it might make me more confident.

Personally, I prefer a chunkier bloke to a skinny one.

Its all worth remembering that fat / slim is just one aspect of a person

Work on the rest is just as valuable, take time to mnake yiourself feel good and its ridiculous how massive and immediate the effects cane be.

For eviodence look on my profile. Last week I felt about as flat as a can be, had my hair chopped and heck, the diofference (and the time spent on me- a big luxury chez Peachy) made me feel about a decade younger,and ridiculously more confident.

Weight and health are important, I'm starting tolose an odd pound here and mean to continue becuase I am not inclined to be heading into a wheelchair or early grave as a result of my weight (been having a few linked issues lately). However, self worth and sexiness is another thing entirely and right now, I doa ctually feel pretty good about myself (for the record, i'm 13 stone).

Also- if weight is something you do want to tackle long term- you're a damned sight mroe likely to manage that if you feel you are worth it. If you think your only value is as drudge /light entertainment / worthy old wife then you won't.

Any chance of a bit of you time? haircut / clothes trip / pedicure- whatever? Makes a silly difference. I'm eliberately building it in now: the hours i've spent trudginga round with DH and my 4 boys looking at Wii games etc are beingr eclaimed. I'm not male and I don't want to be- as theya re finding out!

Love you hair Peachy, really suits you

I'm not sure Morloth. The bigger women I know who pull all the time are very attractive physically - convetionally pretty. They'd be attractive as a size 10, size 20 or bigger.

The women who don't pull (like me) are the ones who aren't as conventionally attractive, regardless of size. I do think I'm 'excellent and worthy of love and attention'. I have a great DH, a brilliant job, lots of mates, hobbies and interests, but I don't pull men when I go out.