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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand why so many poor people... PART 2

1000 replies

nybom · 10/08/2009 11:59

As things have calmed down a little now, despite DH getting involved , I will try and explain once more what I meant to express by OP.

It boils down to:

I have noticed that in this society a lot of money is spent unwisely/for luxuries and increasingly so. This does indeed occur, as many of you have pointed out, regardless of level of income, throughout the social stratum. What I don't understand is, how the very poor people spend/are able to spend money on luxuries whilst compromising on the basic requirements (such as nutritious food for their children). The examples I mentioned were from my circle of friends, not generalisations.

I was bringing up examples from poor people because if a wealthy person fritters his income away for luxuries it doesn?t affect basic requirements such as food, (at least I have never ever come across anybody), however if you don't have any money to spend, it does.

Before you get enraged, I'm not addressing poor people as a whole, I don?t mean disabled people or people with poor health (mental or physical), nor people made redundant, nor women (or men) left by their partners, or any one else who unexpectedly and by now fault of his or her own has got him- or herself into that situation. Neither do I mean poor people who indulge themselves with their own saved money or money given to them by someone else.

I don't think it is fair that MNs stereotype "the rich", and have a go at them. But how dare anyone say anything negative about "the poor". That is hypocritical.

I only listed how I spend my money to demonstrate that it can be done, not to say how ?great? I am. If I can do it anybody can.

Please don?t make any assumptions what I do or not do in RL to actively help make things better and support people in need...
And I have a great life, thank you, and not a boring one, either. But curiosity is human nature (just look at the topics of women?s magazines, don?t any of you buy those?), and if you walk through life with open eyes, you just notices things. Also, my academic background is in sociology, so I have a genuine interest in wanting to understand why people do what they do. No finger pointing or accusing intended.

Finally, I?d like to respond to some specific points which have been repeatedly been raised:

RE car engine: it is an absolute myth that it is cheaper to leave the engine on rather than turn it off and on again a short while later (ask any car mechanic). In some countries you risk a fine if you don?t turn your engine off at (certain) traffic lights/road works! They?re not doing that for the sake of it. It?s just unnecessary pollution and a waist of money! It is not a matter of ?treating yourself? if the husband waits in the car with running engine and the wife goes shopping in a supermarket (and it is not extremely cold or hot (aircon))! It?s just stupid. I don?t imply you should turn your engine off at stop and go traffic jams, but those where you come to a standstill, where after 2 or 3 minutes of nothing happening it would be wise to turn the engine off (even if you had to turn it on again in 1 minute it would save money). Same with ?popping in? at shops/dropping friend of etc...

RE kids parties: there?s nothing wrong with kids parties per se! Of course it's nice to create something fun for them. But why have branded accessories right down to the bags the kids take home? Again, extra expenditures and extra waste. A nice party isn?t made nice by spending loads! A (simple) selfmade cake (not one of those branded one with loads of artificial colouring, ugh), and a couple of party games is all the children need to be really really HAPPY. The bags are thrown away, as are most of the contents, it is cheeper and easier to use kitchen towel or plastic bags for sandwhiches plus you can choose what you put in the bags.

RE cut fruit: It is still absolutely beyond me why you would spend twice as much money (or more) for precut fruit (not tins!) if you could easily cut it yourself, particulary if you are poor and only have a 5 pound shopping budget.

The UK has become a very materialistic society (but that is a different topic), maybe I just recognise it more as I?m from a different cultural background.

OP posts:
scattykatty · 12/08/2009 20:23

So basically she has been playing us all along? If she lied about her husband and sociology then everything else is probs a lie too!

Portifino can you just give it a clue and we'll do the rest ourselves if the mood take

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 20:24

Portofino think i found the same website without too much difficulty. Indeed you are right, Nybom you are very talented, and to be fair you never actually said what your PHd was in just that you are educated to that level.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 20:26

Well I guess that nybom is Belgian as that is where Portofino is. I think she has seen her CV through her work but don't know what she does.

scattykatty · 12/08/2009 20:26

Oh please give me a clue!

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 20:26

AIBU to think, that by starting a third thread I might find somebody who agrees with my middle age views of the poor.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 20:33
everythingistaken · 12/08/2009 20:36
josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 20:38

Curiosity - Don't feel stupid, it wasn't that easy, i guess i am just really sad! I do agree with Portofino that it isn't fair to out someone on a board though.

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 20:41

Of course it is also possible that i have found an entirely different person!

nybom · 12/08/2009 20:42

so which one is your favourite ???

OP posts:
scattykatty · 12/08/2009 20:43

Ahhh I've done it! Thank the Lord!

Portofino · 12/08/2009 20:43

No josie, think you're right. Not Belgium no. google is a terrible thing.

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 20:44

josie - could you not just give a word or 2 and we can google away and find it ourselves,

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 20:46

Nybom, do you really want to know as that will give everyone something to search using, and believe me they will all be on Google instantly!

scattykatty · 12/08/2009 20:46

I like the blonde blue eyed girl with really straight hair in bunches with the wide, open mouth

scattykatty · 12/08/2009 20:49

PS, I'd sell my soul to the Devil to be in Paderborn sob sob sob

DeFluffMyFanjo · 12/08/2009 20:49

I'm totally lost. Rubber dolls???

Portofino · 12/08/2009 20:51

Leopardskin granny and young black guy.

nybom · 12/08/2009 20:52

wanna buy it? still for sale...

OP posts:
everythingistaken · 12/08/2009 20:52

i've giving up on answers from nybom, welcome back to the thread nybom

expatinscotland · 12/08/2009 20:52

This thread is ridiculous, please can we all just flood it so it dies?

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 20:52

Potofino, mine too thought it was a photo.

Portofino · 12/08/2009 20:53

Nybom. This could all end nicely in a blaze of publicity......over to you. 6 posts left.

nybom · 12/08/2009 20:53

portofino

sorry sold, to some rich snob!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/08/2009 20:53

This thread is ridiculous, please can we all just flood it so it dies?

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