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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand why so many poor people... PART 2

1000 replies

nybom · 10/08/2009 11:59

As things have calmed down a little now, despite DH getting involved , I will try and explain once more what I meant to express by OP.

It boils down to:

I have noticed that in this society a lot of money is spent unwisely/for luxuries and increasingly so. This does indeed occur, as many of you have pointed out, regardless of level of income, throughout the social stratum. What I don't understand is, how the very poor people spend/are able to spend money on luxuries whilst compromising on the basic requirements (such as nutritious food for their children). The examples I mentioned were from my circle of friends, not generalisations.

I was bringing up examples from poor people because if a wealthy person fritters his income away for luxuries it doesn?t affect basic requirements such as food, (at least I have never ever come across anybody), however if you don't have any money to spend, it does.

Before you get enraged, I'm not addressing poor people as a whole, I don?t mean disabled people or people with poor health (mental or physical), nor people made redundant, nor women (or men) left by their partners, or any one else who unexpectedly and by now fault of his or her own has got him- or herself into that situation. Neither do I mean poor people who indulge themselves with their own saved money or money given to them by someone else.

I don't think it is fair that MNs stereotype "the rich", and have a go at them. But how dare anyone say anything negative about "the poor". That is hypocritical.

I only listed how I spend my money to demonstrate that it can be done, not to say how ?great? I am. If I can do it anybody can.

Please don?t make any assumptions what I do or not do in RL to actively help make things better and support people in need...
And I have a great life, thank you, and not a boring one, either. But curiosity is human nature (just look at the topics of women?s magazines, don?t any of you buy those?), and if you walk through life with open eyes, you just notices things. Also, my academic background is in sociology, so I have a genuine interest in wanting to understand why people do what they do. No finger pointing or accusing intended.

Finally, I?d like to respond to some specific points which have been repeatedly been raised:

RE car engine: it is an absolute myth that it is cheaper to leave the engine on rather than turn it off and on again a short while later (ask any car mechanic). In some countries you risk a fine if you don?t turn your engine off at (certain) traffic lights/road works! They?re not doing that for the sake of it. It?s just unnecessary pollution and a waist of money! It is not a matter of ?treating yourself? if the husband waits in the car with running engine and the wife goes shopping in a supermarket (and it is not extremely cold or hot (aircon))! It?s just stupid. I don?t imply you should turn your engine off at stop and go traffic jams, but those where you come to a standstill, where after 2 or 3 minutes of nothing happening it would be wise to turn the engine off (even if you had to turn it on again in 1 minute it would save money). Same with ?popping in? at shops/dropping friend of etc...

RE kids parties: there?s nothing wrong with kids parties per se! Of course it's nice to create something fun for them. But why have branded accessories right down to the bags the kids take home? Again, extra expenditures and extra waste. A nice party isn?t made nice by spending loads! A (simple) selfmade cake (not one of those branded one with loads of artificial colouring, ugh), and a couple of party games is all the children need to be really really HAPPY. The bags are thrown away, as are most of the contents, it is cheeper and easier to use kitchen towel or plastic bags for sandwhiches plus you can choose what you put in the bags.

RE cut fruit: It is still absolutely beyond me why you would spend twice as much money (or more) for precut fruit (not tins!) if you could easily cut it yourself, particulary if you are poor and only have a 5 pound shopping budget.

The UK has become a very materialistic society (but that is a different topic), maybe I just recognise it more as I?m from a different cultural background.

OP posts:
curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:49

Northern pronunciation of the a sound is the correct one apparently. DH said a is proper anglo saxon and ar is a corruption.

Portofino · 12/08/2009 19:52

Well I debated with myself. And will probably regret it. Nybom, was looking at your webiste earlier. You are very talented, but your background is certainly not Sociology! And you are not more qualified that your health visitor. And your dh doesn't work in Social Security in any way, shape or form. And you are definitely from the EU! I'd stick to what you are doing - which is definitely eye opening and otherwise mind your own business.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:53

portofino - have you unmasked nybom?

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 19:54

There was a bit of anglo-saxon in my degree, which the lecturers read out in the old dialect. It sounded more sort of Somerset than anything else iirc (although since it was 15 odd years ago may misremember)

Mind you - I imagine there were all sorts of anglo saxon accents, just like there are now.

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 19:54

Ooooh what website?

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 19:56

Portofino - there are only 44 posts left on this thread - you can't keep us hanging on like this!

Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 19:56

I reckon it is Curiosity,certainly makes sense really.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:57

I think I will die if we can find out who she is!

sarah293 · 12/08/2009 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

K999 · 12/08/2009 20:00

Hurry up - we only have a few posts left..

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 20:00

I don't really care who she is or where she comes from, but it is intriguing to know that the information is out there.

Portofino · 12/08/2009 20:00

I certainly have read her CV! But I don't think that public outing of MNetters is really the way to go. I don't really understand why she just can't answer the questions.

Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 20:01

Portofino,please put everyone out of their misery
I applied for a council house today YES A COUNCIL HOUSE OP,so could do with some entertainment.and we are still getting £88.63 per week for 4 of us and JSA didn't go in on Monday and might be there tomorrow[they don't know why it happened] I think we are Enemies of the State

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 20:02

someone needs to get PART 3 prepared because nobody will leave the thread until they know who....can you give a clue portofino as to how you worked it out?

FAQtothefuture · 12/08/2009 20:02

how about private then Porto - I'm on FB and accept CAT

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 20:04

I don't really care who she is either but I would like to know if I was right about her Sociology PhD being fantasy.

FAQtothefuture · 12/08/2009 20:04

poop - someone did starts a part 3 in jest the other day - it's somewhere further down AIBU

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 20:05

I'd also quite like to know what she did train in and where she's from but I think that goes a bit beyond reasonable.

clemette · 12/08/2009 20:06

Have just changed my settings to accept CAT so if you are of a mind to, please could you message me. There is something here that has got under my skin and it would be nice to see the reality.

poopscoop · 12/08/2009 20:07

oh FAQ thats hilarious I shall get my finger hovering over the number 4 then as it looks like this will run and run

everythingistaken · 12/08/2009 20:07

i just relised what AIBU means, see this thread is helpful for thick people

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 20:11

AIBU that poor people should know there place and not be able to comment on any of the issues I raise (unless they wholeheartedly agree) PART 3

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 20:14

AIBU to use several names on one thread to make it look like I have supporters of my unreasonable Questions PART 4

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 20:14

AIBU to just want to eat (selfmade) cake and to keep that cake to myself without sharing it with the povs...

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 20:21

that's just my own AIBU really...

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