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to not understand why so many poor people... PART 2

1000 replies

nybom · 10/08/2009 11:59

As things have calmed down a little now, despite DH getting involved , I will try and explain once more what I meant to express by OP.

It boils down to:

I have noticed that in this society a lot of money is spent unwisely/for luxuries and increasingly so. This does indeed occur, as many of you have pointed out, regardless of level of income, throughout the social stratum. What I don't understand is, how the very poor people spend/are able to spend money on luxuries whilst compromising on the basic requirements (such as nutritious food for their children). The examples I mentioned were from my circle of friends, not generalisations.

I was bringing up examples from poor people because if a wealthy person fritters his income away for luxuries it doesn?t affect basic requirements such as food, (at least I have never ever come across anybody), however if you don't have any money to spend, it does.

Before you get enraged, I'm not addressing poor people as a whole, I don?t mean disabled people or people with poor health (mental or physical), nor people made redundant, nor women (or men) left by their partners, or any one else who unexpectedly and by now fault of his or her own has got him- or herself into that situation. Neither do I mean poor people who indulge themselves with their own saved money or money given to them by someone else.

I don't think it is fair that MNs stereotype "the rich", and have a go at them. But how dare anyone say anything negative about "the poor". That is hypocritical.

I only listed how I spend my money to demonstrate that it can be done, not to say how ?great? I am. If I can do it anybody can.

Please don?t make any assumptions what I do or not do in RL to actively help make things better and support people in need...
And I have a great life, thank you, and not a boring one, either. But curiosity is human nature (just look at the topics of women?s magazines, don?t any of you buy those?), and if you walk through life with open eyes, you just notices things. Also, my academic background is in sociology, so I have a genuine interest in wanting to understand why people do what they do. No finger pointing or accusing intended.

Finally, I?d like to respond to some specific points which have been repeatedly been raised:

RE car engine: it is an absolute myth that it is cheaper to leave the engine on rather than turn it off and on again a short while later (ask any car mechanic). In some countries you risk a fine if you don?t turn your engine off at (certain) traffic lights/road works! They?re not doing that for the sake of it. It?s just unnecessary pollution and a waist of money! It is not a matter of ?treating yourself? if the husband waits in the car with running engine and the wife goes shopping in a supermarket (and it is not extremely cold or hot (aircon))! It?s just stupid. I don?t imply you should turn your engine off at stop and go traffic jams, but those where you come to a standstill, where after 2 or 3 minutes of nothing happening it would be wise to turn the engine off (even if you had to turn it on again in 1 minute it would save money). Same with ?popping in? at shops/dropping friend of etc...

RE kids parties: there?s nothing wrong with kids parties per se! Of course it's nice to create something fun for them. But why have branded accessories right down to the bags the kids take home? Again, extra expenditures and extra waste. A nice party isn?t made nice by spending loads! A (simple) selfmade cake (not one of those branded one with loads of artificial colouring, ugh), and a couple of party games is all the children need to be really really HAPPY. The bags are thrown away, as are most of the contents, it is cheeper and easier to use kitchen towel or plastic bags for sandwhiches plus you can choose what you put in the bags.

RE cut fruit: It is still absolutely beyond me why you would spend twice as much money (or more) for precut fruit (not tins!) if you could easily cut it yourself, particulary if you are poor and only have a 5 pound shopping budget.

The UK has become a very materialistic society (but that is a different topic), maybe I just recognise it more as I?m from a different cultural background.

OP posts:
ElieRM · 12/08/2009 15:10

LOVES the fact nybom thinks a serious discussion was been had before i started posting. i tried to draw you into discussion on several occasions prior to the pis takin. you wouldn't have it. i gave up.
feel free to disagree but i don't it was ME who made this thread ridiculous...

everythingistaken · 12/08/2009 15:17

she's not going to come back again for a least 5 pages, then she will read all responses and laugh at the attention she is getting, really she is not going to answer any questions.

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 15:18

OK, still no legitimate response from nybom who I can only assume is just a rather ill-informed time-waster. Seriously regretting bothering to stop and this thread. Would recommend everyone just lets it die if you can bring yourself to ignore it.

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 15:19

that should be 'stop and read' in case there's any confusion!

ElieRM · 12/08/2009 15:23

and she'll tell us off for being silly..

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 15:27

Nybom Is it that your friends dont know why they make bad choices or is it just that when they try to explain to you, you tell them they are missing the point, dont know what their talking about, havent read nearly 2000 posts on MN. So therefore are not qualified to comment.

Or is it just that they dont have a PHD in sociology, is a qualified HV and head of SSS in some far off land?

ElieRM · 12/08/2009 15:34

OR is it just that they don't exist?

nybom · 12/08/2009 15:46

i'd love to answer genuine questions, i just find it difficult finding them amongst all this rubbish that is being posted. if those not really interested (as they have been claiming for days) finally cleared off to the "mynob" thread (yes, very mature of you, well done to you!) or whereever, or maybe "mynobshamster" wants to start a new thread? itisalwaysthequiettones, even if you are genuine, if i answered right now, there'd be half a dozen people tearing the answer to shreds...

OP posts:
2kidzandi · 12/08/2009 15:48

Oh no, this thread is so huge I've got no chance of catching up now....

clemette · 12/08/2009 15:51

Excellent way of avoiding questions. I finally give up.

Stayingsunnygirl · 12/08/2009 15:53

Genuine question - what are the chronic conditions that can be caused by formula feeding/prevented by breastfeeding?

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 15:54

so you ignore the legitimate questions and comment on the ones you consider to be rubbish - seems an odd attitude for someone who has a genuine question/concern about something.

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 15:54

The problem is that there have been a number of genuine questions asked by lots of different people, and more often than not you (Nybom)fail to answer the question or ignore completley that a question has been asked of you. It is hardly surprising that people find other things to talk about when it takes so long for you to respond to some of the questions that are posed to you. It took over an hour for you to respond to me yesterday and when you did you didn't answer the question that I asked and have since suggested that I wasn't genuinley interested in your response or at all concerned. It isn't really surprising that people then flood the board or say stupid things if you aren't prepared to actually engage in a converstaion. It is of course difficult in that lots of the same questions keep getting asked but there are considerably more posters on here than there are of you to answer. Maybe it would be sensible to stick to one question at a time, so it would be good if you can answer the question that it'salwaysthequietones asked.

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 15:56

sorry for bad spelling (if anyone is bothered)it's mostly that i am crap at spelling but also that i type too quickly and don't check it properly

Portofino · 12/08/2009 15:56

Genuine Question: Are you German?

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 15:57

Nybom I did ask a genuine question.

I also gave you genuine reasons why poor people dont always spend their money wisely.

Ok they are not your friends who I'm giving reasons about. , but I dont know your friends and neither does anybody else.

So all we can do is give examples from our own experinces.

Grrrr... going off to find the mynob thread.

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 16:00

She has no intention of answering any of them, just myriad reasons why she shouldn't. Now it's because we were all talking about hamsters.

So then - to recap

  • She's got a background in sociology but has never studied this particular social problem or has any insight into it
  • She comes from a country which is both EU (according to her husband who may or may not also be her alter ego) and non-EU
  • Her country handles social security better than ours but we are not allowed to ask which one and make up our own minds on that, because to do so would be racist
  • Formula feeding is a "luxury", except when it isn't, and only 1% of people are unable to do it, except when they can't because of reasons of no support, and then they are excluded from her figures, even though it has been pointed out her 1% figure is a physicological inability rather than a social one. Oddly, her sociology qualification gives her no insight into that either
  • She has evidence that formula feeding causes some un-named illness, but we are not allowed to know which one.
  • Anyone who is concerned by this assertion and wants more information on it is unreasonable.
  • Her health visitor is unaware of this link, but it doesn't matter because she is more qualified than her health visitor
  • Cakes must be made from scratch
  • Fruit must be cut up at home
  • We may not, under any circumstances, discuss hamsters
Stayingsunnygirl · 12/08/2009 16:05

That just about sums it up, josie!

juicyjolly · 12/08/2009 16:07

It is no use trying to pretend to want to know the answer to real questions when most of the comments made were just downright childish and nasty.

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 16:09
    • physiological
Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 16:10

Juicyjolly - am pretty sure you're the OP as well. Am I right?

josiejo79 · 12/08/2009 16:11

Sorry Juicy but i don't believe that most of the 870 comments on here are childish and nasty, and you haven't exactly said some pleasant things on here to people either, so you aren't exactly a saint.

I don't think anyone is pretending, why would people pretend to be interested in something that started last week on a different post and continued this week on a new post? We would all have to be fairly stupid to be wasting our time making up stupid questions to ask just for the sheer hell of it to waste the last few days, and i don't think anyone on here is stupid!

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 16:18

juicy- if nybom answered a real quesion with a real answer the thread would have finnished last week!

sarah293 · 12/08/2009 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 16:23

Yes or their life is so shit, whats the harm in a shop bought cake.

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