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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand why so many poor people... PART 2

1000 replies

nybom · 10/08/2009 11:59

As things have calmed down a little now, despite DH getting involved , I will try and explain once more what I meant to express by OP.

It boils down to:

I have noticed that in this society a lot of money is spent unwisely/for luxuries and increasingly so. This does indeed occur, as many of you have pointed out, regardless of level of income, throughout the social stratum. What I don't understand is, how the very poor people spend/are able to spend money on luxuries whilst compromising on the basic requirements (such as nutritious food for their children). The examples I mentioned were from my circle of friends, not generalisations.

I was bringing up examples from poor people because if a wealthy person fritters his income away for luxuries it doesn?t affect basic requirements such as food, (at least I have never ever come across anybody), however if you don't have any money to spend, it does.

Before you get enraged, I'm not addressing poor people as a whole, I don?t mean disabled people or people with poor health (mental or physical), nor people made redundant, nor women (or men) left by their partners, or any one else who unexpectedly and by now fault of his or her own has got him- or herself into that situation. Neither do I mean poor people who indulge themselves with their own saved money or money given to them by someone else.

I don't think it is fair that MNs stereotype "the rich", and have a go at them. But how dare anyone say anything negative about "the poor". That is hypocritical.

I only listed how I spend my money to demonstrate that it can be done, not to say how ?great? I am. If I can do it anybody can.

Please don?t make any assumptions what I do or not do in RL to actively help make things better and support people in need...
And I have a great life, thank you, and not a boring one, either. But curiosity is human nature (just look at the topics of women?s magazines, don?t any of you buy those?), and if you walk through life with open eyes, you just notices things. Also, my academic background is in sociology, so I have a genuine interest in wanting to understand why people do what they do. No finger pointing or accusing intended.

Finally, I?d like to respond to some specific points which have been repeatedly been raised:

RE car engine: it is an absolute myth that it is cheaper to leave the engine on rather than turn it off and on again a short while later (ask any car mechanic). In some countries you risk a fine if you don?t turn your engine off at (certain) traffic lights/road works! They?re not doing that for the sake of it. It?s just unnecessary pollution and a waist of money! It is not a matter of ?treating yourself? if the husband waits in the car with running engine and the wife goes shopping in a supermarket (and it is not extremely cold or hot (aircon))! It?s just stupid. I don?t imply you should turn your engine off at stop and go traffic jams, but those where you come to a standstill, where after 2 or 3 minutes of nothing happening it would be wise to turn the engine off (even if you had to turn it on again in 1 minute it would save money). Same with ?popping in? at shops/dropping friend of etc...

RE kids parties: there?s nothing wrong with kids parties per se! Of course it's nice to create something fun for them. But why have branded accessories right down to the bags the kids take home? Again, extra expenditures and extra waste. A nice party isn?t made nice by spending loads! A (simple) selfmade cake (not one of those branded one with loads of artificial colouring, ugh), and a couple of party games is all the children need to be really really HAPPY. The bags are thrown away, as are most of the contents, it is cheeper and easier to use kitchen towel or plastic bags for sandwhiches plus you can choose what you put in the bags.

RE cut fruit: It is still absolutely beyond me why you would spend twice as much money (or more) for precut fruit (not tins!) if you could easily cut it yourself, particulary if you are poor and only have a 5 pound shopping budget.

The UK has become a very materialistic society (but that is a different topic), maybe I just recognise it more as I?m from a different cultural background.

OP posts:
GodzillasBumcheek · 12/08/2009 18:40

oooo. We will hopefully have homegrown black currants and raspberries next year [drool]

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 18:40

godzilla - sounds YUM! Tell your DH to fling some my way!

Stayingsunnygirl · 12/08/2009 18:43

Are mn dieters allowed to have mn wine and chocolate too, josie and curiositykilled?

Hey - when you ladies stop being pregnant why not come over to mine, and I'll break out the red wine, and do blue steaks with stilton butter!

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 18:45

stayingsunny - I presume so. If the preggos can...

Longtalljosie · 12/08/2009 18:48

That sounds lovely...

teamcullen · 12/08/2009 18:52

I think that shoud be acceptable curiosty, if you consider the toxic gases that the cow poo would produce, and then the electricity consumed trying to freeze the rest of the beef.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 18:54

teamcullen - you don't think I should tell her to raise and butcher the cow herself next time then?

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:15
curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:16

Who had the wine last?

K999 · 12/08/2009 19:25

Me, but I had the alcoholic stuff...dont know what happened to your juice!!

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:30

K999 - someone informed me preggos are allowed MN wine... so I want it...

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:34

I believe I have missed something rather obvious about nybom's OP. She asks "AIBU to not understand why so many poor people...." - the answer is very clearly if you have a PhD in Sociology then yes, YABU to not understand this.

sarah293 · 12/08/2009 19:38

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curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:41

rich people food riven...

one step rarer than rare

K999 · 12/08/2009 19:42

Ok ladies - only 60 more posts to go...

Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 19:43

I say blackberries dp says brambles.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:44

huzzah...

sarah293 · 12/08/2009 19:44

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Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 19:44

He is northern,I am from South.I think his way of saying things makes sense[most of t'time]

mynobshamster · 12/08/2009 19:45

are brambles posh blackberries then?

Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 19:45

I can always remember me mam...saying it's 'grarse not graaassss' and it's glarse not glaass'

Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 19:46

Aye I reckon they are one and the same lass.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 19:46

riven - did you go eat cake at a rich person's coffee shop with your DC's food money in the end?

sarah293 · 12/08/2009 19:47

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Doobydoo · 12/08/2009 19:48

The prob with southern accent...particularly when you have moved around loads so don't sound like you are from anywhere is that you can sound more intelligent than you actually are which can get 'one' into all sorts of trouble

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