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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand why so many poor people... PART 2

1000 replies

nybom · 10/08/2009 11:59

As things have calmed down a little now, despite DH getting involved , I will try and explain once more what I meant to express by OP.

It boils down to:

I have noticed that in this society a lot of money is spent unwisely/for luxuries and increasingly so. This does indeed occur, as many of you have pointed out, regardless of level of income, throughout the social stratum. What I don't understand is, how the very poor people spend/are able to spend money on luxuries whilst compromising on the basic requirements (such as nutritious food for their children). The examples I mentioned were from my circle of friends, not generalisations.

I was bringing up examples from poor people because if a wealthy person fritters his income away for luxuries it doesn?t affect basic requirements such as food, (at least I have never ever come across anybody), however if you don't have any money to spend, it does.

Before you get enraged, I'm not addressing poor people as a whole, I don?t mean disabled people or people with poor health (mental or physical), nor people made redundant, nor women (or men) left by their partners, or any one else who unexpectedly and by now fault of his or her own has got him- or herself into that situation. Neither do I mean poor people who indulge themselves with their own saved money or money given to them by someone else.

I don't think it is fair that MNs stereotype "the rich", and have a go at them. But how dare anyone say anything negative about "the poor". That is hypocritical.

I only listed how I spend my money to demonstrate that it can be done, not to say how ?great? I am. If I can do it anybody can.

Please don?t make any assumptions what I do or not do in RL to actively help make things better and support people in need...
And I have a great life, thank you, and not a boring one, either. But curiosity is human nature (just look at the topics of women?s magazines, don?t any of you buy those?), and if you walk through life with open eyes, you just notices things. Also, my academic background is in sociology, so I have a genuine interest in wanting to understand why people do what they do. No finger pointing or accusing intended.

Finally, I?d like to respond to some specific points which have been repeatedly been raised:

RE car engine: it is an absolute myth that it is cheaper to leave the engine on rather than turn it off and on again a short while later (ask any car mechanic). In some countries you risk a fine if you don?t turn your engine off at (certain) traffic lights/road works! They?re not doing that for the sake of it. It?s just unnecessary pollution and a waist of money! It is not a matter of ?treating yourself? if the husband waits in the car with running engine and the wife goes shopping in a supermarket (and it is not extremely cold or hot (aircon))! It?s just stupid. I don?t imply you should turn your engine off at stop and go traffic jams, but those where you come to a standstill, where after 2 or 3 minutes of nothing happening it would be wise to turn the engine off (even if you had to turn it on again in 1 minute it would save money). Same with ?popping in? at shops/dropping friend of etc...

RE kids parties: there?s nothing wrong with kids parties per se! Of course it's nice to create something fun for them. But why have branded accessories right down to the bags the kids take home? Again, extra expenditures and extra waste. A nice party isn?t made nice by spending loads! A (simple) selfmade cake (not one of those branded one with loads of artificial colouring, ugh), and a couple of party games is all the children need to be really really HAPPY. The bags are thrown away, as are most of the contents, it is cheeper and easier to use kitchen towel or plastic bags for sandwhiches plus you can choose what you put in the bags.

RE cut fruit: It is still absolutely beyond me why you would spend twice as much money (or more) for precut fruit (not tins!) if you could easily cut it yourself, particulary if you are poor and only have a 5 pound shopping budget.

The UK has become a very materialistic society (but that is a different topic), maybe I just recognise it more as I?m from a different cultural background.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/08/2009 12:32

Because it's most likely a troll, Mumcentre, and then they'd have to enter into a discussion about how wonderful their true country is when they, a troll, is actually from Essex .

K999 · 10/08/2009 12:33

I do always wonder about these sorts of threads. Why should anyone care how someone else spends their money? Its their business.

And whats wrong with being materialistic??

K999 · 10/08/2009 12:35

Actually, dont some cars cut out now when stationary?? Think they may the very posh/expensive variety....

VinegarTits · 10/08/2009 12:37

Well i dont have broadband, i drive round in my car stealing other peoples wifi, and i turn my engine off(if its not hotwired) when i get an connection, so what im spending on pre-cut fruit i'm saving on broadband

expatinscotland · 10/08/2009 12:39

You have to wonder what sort of a major freak even notices and takes a tally of cars that have their engine on at a traffic light and how they assume anyone who keeps the engine idling is on benefits, and not just on benefits, but feckless and on benefits.

HerHonesty · 10/08/2009 12:41

nybom i think you are very brave to post again. didnt comment before because of the erm... heated discussion that ensues but i do get the point you are trying to make..

but perhaps you need to recognise that what people choose to spend it on is entirely their business. my mother in law would rather spend every penny she gets now than save a little to avert herself from a much reduced lifestyle in retirement. as she says, she cuts her cloth whichever way.

similarly, if someone chooses sky sports over organic food, that is their choice, you might not agree with it, but it is their choice. as long as it doesnt damage you, or their children, then it isnt really our business (nb levels of infant malnutrition are very low compared to historical levels)

now, has the UK become a materialist, consumption driven society? well that perhaps would have been a slightly more tactful way of raising your issues...

GypsyMoth · 10/08/2009 12:41

er.....where is the OP??

flatcapandpearls · 10/08/2009 12:41

Maybe they have a sticker for there rear window. Feckless scrounger on board.

Mumcentreplus · 10/08/2009 12:41

lol..we have quite a mixture from Heat to Home & Gardens..lots of young and older people visit the same surgery...

VinegarTits · 10/08/2009 12:42

did anyone on the other thread notice that nybom is and anogram for mynob?

expatinscotland · 10/08/2009 12:43

And what sort of a freak has friends she inwardly sneers at?

K999 · 10/08/2009 12:43

The OP is sitting in her ivory tower, eating fruit that she has cut herself..

nybom · 10/08/2009 12:45

there is no way pleasing you, is there? first you ask me again and again to come back and answer ("OP is scared and has buggered off") and i say i can't be bothered with polemics and assaults, and when i do bother to answer once it has calmed down, it's not right either.

OP posts:
flatcapandpearls · 10/08/2009 12:45

lol VT. I wonder if her nob is considerably larger than ours.

expatinscotland · 10/08/2009 12:46

'If I can do it anybody can.'

No, thanks, I prefer to be a feckless, poor Brit.

I drive a diesel.

I leave it idling when someone I know comes over for a blether.

It happens often round these parts.

I have friends who are on benefits. Some are long-term unemployed.

Can't say I really give a fat rat's arse how they spend what money they've got.

K999 · 10/08/2009 12:47

But you havent answered the question of where you are originally from??

VinegarTits · 10/08/2009 12:48

In that case OP, why did you bother starting a new thread

(attention seeking weirdy little person that you are)

expatinscotland · 10/08/2009 12:49

Maybe everyone should have to take that Britishness test there's a thread on.

We could help draft questions!

What's the easiest way to piss off a Brit?
a) tell them they're all part of a materialist, wasteful and lazy society
b) make friends with them, but then start threads on teh internet critcising them for being wasters.
c) tell them how much better it is in your home country, but when they try to engage you in a discussion about life in your home country, refuse to respond.
d) all of the above.

curiositykilled · 10/08/2009 12:49

I can't understand why nybom has started this again...

It is clear from everything she says that she just has no idea of what it is like to be the people she is criticising.

I maintain that the only argument in this is basically if you don't like it, bugger off. Nybom does not have to live in this country or work and pay tax to fund these things she disagrees with.

I have to say I am very proud to live somewhere where even the poorest people can afford a bit of pre-cut fruit.

nybom · 10/08/2009 12:51

you know what? if it is "their business", why not get rid of all children's charities? after all, what does it matter if the child starves as long as mum has her cigggies?! what WAS i thinking...

*vinegar tits" - at least you have named yourself apporpriately - no need for an anagram (how clever you are!)

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 10/08/2009 12:52

Vinegartits

K999 · 10/08/2009 12:52

I think there is a lot to be said for pre-cut fruit....especially in my house! You get it all lovely and ready to eat and less waste. I can buy uncut fruit (the horror) and its left to rot in my fruit bowl!! of course I then squish it all together and use it as fuel for my car....

Tamarto · 10/08/2009 12:53

So your friends starve their children to buy cigarettes?

This is some AIBU by stealth

stroppyknickers · 10/08/2009 12:53

Thing is nybom, it's not really going to make a material difference is it? If the 'feckless poor' saved £1.75 a week on cut fruit/ un cut fruit, is that £91 a year going to provide a down payment on a holiday/ house/ car? No. They will still be living in a council house, unable to afford a holiday/ decent motor. At least they can buy an extra 18.2 packs of fags though. Party at Xmas. Let's say they save £500 with all your cost saving ideas. In 6 years they could go to Europe for a couple of weeks at, say £3,000 for a decent holiday. In the meantime, they've wasted valuable Jeremy Kyle time chopping fruit, watching rubbish telly (no Sky) and turning their engines on and off. You'll be saying the homeless should give up booze and save for a mansion soon....

expatinscotland · 10/08/2009 12:53

You know what, nybom, no one is forcing you to live here.

If you don't like it and how it works, why not repatriate?

I would if I felt like you.

I'm a naturalised Brit myself, and you give all immigrantst to this country a bad name.

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