to feel dh has been horrid and unreasonable

[labyrinthine]

Today we were supposed to be going to a town an hour or so from here to look at a car.
ds was poorly in the night and felt a bit off when he got up so he came into our bed[dh had already got up]for 5 mins and we were chatting.
Dh burst in saying angrily"It's half past eight you know,it's too late to go now,I guess if you had wanted to go you'd have been up by now~that's fine,it'll save me a lot of money,great."
So we didn't go,having talked about it all weekend and specially[me] arranged to leave ds with his friend next door at 10.30 or so.

I don't understand why he did this as it obviously wasn't too late,it was early.
To me,he changed his mind and instead of saying so,blamed me for it.He was also a bit nasty saying he had done everything while I was in bed~but then why didn't he wake me?

I have no car atm so can't go alone.
Now we've had a huge row and are not speaking.
He like being in control~he often cancels trips on the day when he decides it's "too late".

So fed up now ,disappointed about the car,horrible things have been said and we are supposed to be going away in a few days.

catinahat..thankyou a lot!
be it right or wrong i see everything from everyone else's point of view and that does lead to indecision about my personal choices

girlywhirly..i didn't mean ds will live with him i meant stay with him on days/weekends etc as he does now...dh will be nasty to me and about me,not the dc i don't think

Yes, the sooner you bin him the sooner you can get together with a man like this (Emma Thompson definitely beat Kenneth Branagh in the 'who's going to come out on top of this divorce' competition)

haha i went to a big city today..loads of attractive men there

and positively starting to drool over someone at work[not going to happen but nice to know i still can lol]

i like meeting new people and make friends easily.. so i think it's going to be fun

I see. There is no justification for ds' father being horrible about you to him. He has no right and it must be very upsetting for ds. A great pity you rely on h for childcare. You can counter any offensive by saying calmly, "Daddy is entitled to his opinion, but that doesn't mean he is always right."

Hi Laby, just caught up with this.

Keep posting, you are sorting your life out at your own pace. You will get there in the end.

hello anyone who has this still on their watch list

I have contacted a solicitor[local but not too near] and am waiting for their family law specialist to be available for a sat am appt.

I have had some bad days with h especially the two times he stormed off without ds when he was supposed to be taking him to school,leaving me stranded with a crying ds.

He is so argumentative and inconsistent I can't take much more.

He has refused to leave but we are now in separate rooms.

From the chat I had with the solicitor I either leave/separate and get divorced after two years or go for unreasonable behaviour.

The house can be sold and we each get our own place or one of us stays here and one moves.

Moral support is all I am after,my mind is made up.

Ooh well done. I think you are doing the right thing, there's no point spending any more of your life with this man. He obviously isn't that bothered about your children either if he will distress his son for no reason. Have a hug.

thanks brahms

one problem I am having is that I keep having the same conversation with him about separating and divorce,then he storms off and is moody,then he continues the same as if we never had the chat so it's stressful having to keep doing it again and again.

I'm really glad to hear you have made the contact with the solicitor Laby.
H probably thinks he can make this all go away with a combination of temper and ignoring - it's worked pretty well for him in the past! But no more!
And as Brahms says, if he can casually make your son suffer while he is doing his shouty stuff then he obviously has no concern for the effect on the DCs. It's all about him and probably always has been. You will just have to try to be consistently factual and unemotional about it - don't get drawn into his shouting matches.
You def have my moral support!

thanks Kat and thanks for flouncing lol

that wasn't sarcastic btw it was a real thanks ~ I meant it got me to the solicitor

Laby that is brilliant, well done. You are doing the right thing and you know it.
Cheering you on!

Ah the power of the flounce!

Bravo Laby. Well done you.
Lots of moral support winging its way to you...

I've been watching this thread for a long time and I'm so pleased to hear you made that first step.

I think you've been very concerned about a) family welfare b) your rights - a whole heap of your posts have been reiterating that you think you'll get custody - you'll be entitled to this that and the other - it's almost as though you've been so ground down that you think he might have the upper hand after all.

He doesn't. Be clear with the solicitor and tell them any fears and they should be able to clarify exactly where you stand.

Don't feel bad about posting for so long. It's clearly given you an opportunity to vent, check, run things past people to so that you can feel clear and confident in what you are doing.

Congratulations - you and your kids will be the better for it.

I'm pleased too. I think that you'll find doing something positive towards your separation and eventual divorce will make you feel a lot stronger within.

How are things?

Just doing a small bump to see if any developments.